Topic awaiting preservation: Reworked chuckle (Page 1 of 1)

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St.Peter.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter was.

The first blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The second blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth
and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to hell.

The third blonde said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with his disciples when he was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested him. The Romans hung him on the cross and eventually he died. Then they buried him in a tomb behind a very large boulder."

"Very good!" exclaimed St. Peter.

Then the blonde continued, "Now every year the Jews roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of basketball."

St. Peter fainted.

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".


Ozone Quotes

Gilbert, that one is *really* funny =)

This one is moldily old, but what goes "vroom-screech, vroom-screech, vroom-screech"? A blonde at a flashing red light.

One evening a blind man walks into a bar, sits down on a stool between two women and says "Hey bartender! Did you ever hear the one about the blonde who..."

The bartender interupted him, her voice devoid of any hint of amusment. "Ok Mister, since you can't see I'm going to do you a big favor, and let you know a few things." She continued "First of all- I'm blonde, 6'3', and tending bar is just my night job. I make my living teaching Karate." After drawing a deep breath, she said " Sally, the woman on your left, is also a blonde. She's an Ironworker and just finished telling me how pissed she is at her Foreman, so I know she's in a lousy mood." The bartender then added "Now Mary, the 190 lb blonde woman on your right, hasn't told about her day. She won't be saying much until they take the stiches out of her lips, she was a little careless in her last WWF match."

The blind man just sat there.

"So" , the bartender asked him, "after what I just told you, are you sure you really want to tell that joke?" The blind man shook his head slowly and answered "No way. Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times!"


I have three blonde daughters and they told me the following -

What is black and blue and brown and laying in the ditch bleeding? The brunette who told one too many blonde jokes.