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Lord_Fukutoku
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: West Texas
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 06-25-2003 20:44

I don't remember where I first saw this, but I ran across it again, so here ya go

World Ideologies (Referencing Cows)

Feudalism
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

Pure Socialism
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to
take care of all the cows. The government gives you
all the milk you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism
Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You
have to take care of the chickens the government took
from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as
much milk and eggs the regulations say you should
need.

Fascism
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires
you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism
You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care
of them, and you all share the milk.

Real World Communism
You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your
neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and
who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no
one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of
starvation.

Russian Communism
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the government takes all the milk. You steal back as
much milk as you can and sell it on the black market.

Perestroika
You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much
milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market.

Cambodian Communism
You have two cows. The government takes both and
shoots you.

Militarianism
You have two cows. The government takes both and
drafts you.

Totalitarianism
You have two cows. The government takes them and
denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Pure Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
milk.

Representative Democracy
You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell
you who gets the milk.

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and
they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

Bureaucracy
You have two cows. At first the government regulates
what you can feed them and when you can milk them.
Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both,
shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down
the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms
accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair
price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill
you.

Pure Capitalism
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Capitalism
You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you
money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to
put up as collateral.

Enviromentalism
You have two cows. The government bans you from
milking or killing them.

Political Correctness
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is
a symbol of the phallo centric, war mongering,
intolerant past) two differently - aged (but no less
valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.

Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.

Moon Shadow
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Rouen, France
Insane since: Jan 2003

posted posted 06-25-2003 21:02

Very realistic, though I'm surprised not seeing something about the Japan democracy into the monarchy...

I loved this one :

British Democracy
You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and
they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

I'm the British folks will too

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 06-25-2003 21:20

The ironic thing is that the British government actually did something - they probably went massively over the top. Great pits filled with the bruning corpses of animals all over the countryside. It got Biblical

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

bodhi23
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Greensboro, NC USA
Insane since: Jun 2002

posted posted 06-25-2003 22:10
quote:
Surrealism
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to
take harmonica lessons.



I want to live there...





Cell 617

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 06-26-2003 01:30

Ah, that's great. I remember hearing that a long time ago, and I could never remember exactly how it went.

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