Topic awaiting preservation: WS: I have IRREFUTABLE PROOF that evolution is false! (Page 1 of 2)

Take a look here. Read it and and WEEP!.



"I make and I sell soap."

"objective.jesussave.us "

Contradiction in URL.

Edit: I'd like to clarify that last statement.... Only as soon as I see an article like that in a newspaper or in Scientific American, I'll give it a consideration that it's irrefutable.



[This message has been edited by mahjqa (edited 11-15-2003).]

quote:

---

]"God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3)
"The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5)
"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)

---

I seriously hope this is all a joke...

[This message has been edited by InSiDeR (edited 11-15-2003).]

InSiDeR: I ran across a link to here in Scientific American (or Popular Science, I forgot which one, I get both) and looked it up. Then I laughed because (1) it's just so damn funny and (2) that it appears to be real. Anyways: It's funny, I think. Thats why I posted it. Well, not the only reason. The other is because of the evolution-creation debates last year where there were 1000's of posts dedicated to this that proved neither to be right or wrong. That reminds me: Wasn't there gunna be another formal debate?


"I make and I sell soap."

[This message has been edited by cfb (edited 11-15-2003).]

[This message has been edited by cfb (edited 11-15-2003).]

That link took me straight to here... http://www.web1000.com/

..which is... nowhere...



[This message has been edited by Xpirex (edited 11-15-2003).]

Here then:

quote:

---

2001 Prize Winners:


Elementary School Level

1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

2nd Place: "Pine Cones Are Complicated"
David Block and Trevor Murry (grades 4) showed how specifically complicated pine cones are and how they reveal God's design in nature.

Honorable Mention:
"God Made Kitty" - Sally Reister (grade 3)
"The Bible Says Creation" - Aaron Kent (grade 5)
"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)


Middle School Level

1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Honorable Mention:
"Mousetrap Reduced To Pile Of Functionless Parts" - Kevin Parker (grade 7)
"Dinosaur & Man Walked Together" - Donny Findlay (grade 6)
"Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?" - Anna Reed (grade 6)


High School Level

1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.

2nd Place: "Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study"
Jason Spinter's (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah's Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowls inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungie cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah's Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.

Honorable Mention:
"Geocentrism: Politically Incorrect" - Richard Cody (grade 9)
"Young Earth, Old Lies" - Melvin Knuth & Glenna Reher (grade 11)
"Thermodynamics Of Hell Fire" - Tom Williamson (grade 12)

---

__________________
War is Peace,
Freedom is Slavery,
Ignorance is Strength.

[This message has been edited by counterfeitbacon (edited 11-16-2003).]

More like God save us!!!

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org

I found the first place winner for middle school project to be paticurally funny...

As well as this one: "Rocks Can't Evolve, Where Did They Come From Mr. Darwin?"

I think that this would be a good topic to discuss the quality of education in America.....

[This message has been edited by Rauthrin (edited 11-16-2003).]

what the hell is that supposed to be?

quote:

---

1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"

Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.

---

what does this kid expects from 3 weeks? moron....

whats wrong with these people? rather than finding out something new in science they are praying to a glass filled with substances, hoping something happen?

woah, this is lame... andas mahjqa stated, look at URL.



[This message has been edited by Ruski (edited 11-16-2003).]

The whole site is pretty much a joke....

It's really funny to read some of the articles like the Halloween and mall one.

It's a joke to those who harbor more intellectual integrity (like the majority of us here), but it's quite likely that others including the site author take it very seriously. Those who argue for evolution, agnostic atheism, alternative religions, and even various theisms negatively criticize and joke about this Objective: Jesus Save Us website constructed by a so-called professor.

quote:

---

but it's quite likely that others including the site author take it very seriously.

---

How could anybody take this site seriously?

__________________
War is Peace,
Freedom is Slavery,
Ignorance is Strength.

quote:

---

How could anybody take this site seriously?

---

Mental retardation.

Haven't spent very long around rampant christians have you? They'll latch onto anything which 'proves' that God cretaed everything...

Note for the unwary: This is from MY experience on the rampantly religious. There's a big group of them in the district I live in, and they would all take this mighty seriously...

That site is both one of the scariest and funniest things I've seen in a long time.

quote:

---

(March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.

---

That is great!! I don't think I've ever seen a sign up at repair shop that said "certified by jesus"... so how would you know??

*laugh* good stuff.

<edit>

Okay, I couldn't resist posting this one... I'd kill to have this on a t-shirt with the little cartoon giraffe and moth talking...

quote:

---

Pepper, the Moth: "My friend Bomby the bombardier beetle can shoot boiling-hot toxic chemicals out of his butt. Why?

Professor Giraffenstein: "God gave your friend that ability for defense against evil and as a testament against the false doctrine of Evolutionism!"

---

You can't make this stuff up!!


[This message has been edited by MindBender (edited 11-16-2003).]

cfb: Congratulations on the most irresistible thread title I've seen here in a long time. Amusing article, and obviously a joke, but also a bit saddening as well, because there are bound to be people out there who do not realize it is a joke...


___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org

Hehe...keep digging...

quote:

---

...go to a qualified Christian repair shop.

---

What? In case my Christian gets broken?

quote:

---

1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria"
Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.

---

Anyone care to repeat the experiment? Might be quiet interesting

quote:

---

How could anybody take this site seriously?

---

quote:

---

Amusing article, and obviously a joke

---

I don't know.
It is *truly* frightening unintelligent a *great* deal of people are. Some of the conversations that I over hear on a daily basis really scare the shit out of me. There are groups all around that just breed pure ignorance. We look at a lot of these people and say "no reasonable person will be swayed by that" but it's just not the case.

If we were to poll a significant number of "average" americans, I am quite certain that on two particular topics the results would scare the hell out of most of us -

1) creationsim/evolution (as this article shows)

2) the middle east/Islam

The fragility of our society is astounding. How easy it could all break down into prehistoric tribal warfare.....

*Fingers tomahawk*

We never left it...we just put a more decent 'face' on it...

^ Good point. I don't think human nature has really changed at all since ancient times. We've just found more efficient ways to kill people.


___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org

Of course.

What I meant by that comment was more that American society (thinking "locally" here) as a whole could so easily break down, and we'd soon see people grouping together hurling stones at the other group. On a small scale, throughout the towns and cities of America.

It'd be so easy to slip from the pedestal we've made ourselves. Turn from causing global war to killing our neighbors over the color of their hair....or the brand of butter in their fridge.

We've turned global concerns into sporting events.

And we've shown up en masse with our team's names painted on our chests and our cheese hats firmly planted on our heads =)

Oi. I need a drink....

Don't hog the bottle, DL...pass it this way!!

quote:

---

Pepper, the Moth: "My friend Bomby the bombardier beetle can shoot boiling-hot toxic chemicals out of his butt. Why?

Professor Giraffenstein: "God gave your friend that ability for defense against evil and as a testament against the false doctrine of Evolutionism!"

---

No relation.

quote:

---

false doctrine of Evolutionism

---

It's unfortunate that there are still people that do not understand that evolution is a science, observable, and not a competing religion. Close-minded thinkers like that site's administrators like to think evolution is a competing religion because they are not used to the idea that humans can attain higher levels of intelligence. As we gain more knowledge, the more primitive forms of "enlightenment" are countered, and we progress.

"Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines." -- Lord Bertrand Russell

"The opinions that are held with passion are always those for which no good ground exists; indeed, the passion is the measure of the holder's lack of rational conviction." -- Lord Bertrand Russell



[This message has been edited by metahuman (edited 11-23-2003).]

Couldnt Evolution and God be on the same team?

It seems to me that evolution could be taught as a construct of God. If God was to set in motion the science behind evolution, what seems like natural selection could be God's selection.

...of course, we would then have to burn all the scientists for trying to know the unknowable. Hmmm, nevermind...

...carry on.



_____________
Is this thing on?

A Work In Progress

http://www.talkorigins.org/

"Talk.origins is a Usenet newsgroup devoted to the discussion and debate of biological and physical origins. Most discussions in the newsgroup center on the creation/evolution controversy, but other topics of discussion include the origin of life, geology, biology, catastrophism, cosmology and theology.

The Talk.Origins Archive is a collection of articles and essays, most of which have appeared in talk.origins at one time or another. The primary reason for this archive's existence is to provide mainstream scientific responses to the many frequently asked questions (FAQs) that appear in the talk.origins newsgroup and the frequently rebutted assertions of those advocating intelligent design or other creationist pseudosciences."

This had me laughing so hard I was in pain.

^ OMG! jeez I pity christianity.....

quote:

---

^ OMG! jeez I pity christianity.....

---

Why all of Christianity? Why not just those Christians?

You know the site is a joke, right? Any individual article is cleverly veiled in (some equivalent of) reason, but the collective effect makes it very clear.

Cell 1250 :: alanmacdougall.com :: Illustrator tips

On that note, I think people who do not understand that it's a joke are even funnier than the site itself. Either that or they are very sad. I can't make up my mind.


___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org

If you think that site is a joke, you obviously haven't hung out in the really exciting parts of the States. I grew up around people that made objective.jesus look like the Happy Open Minded Satan Club. There are a lot of scary, zealotous people out there.


It's only after we've lost everything...
That we're free to do anything...

I have to say I honestly find it hard to say for certain that it is a joke.

I mean....like i said earlier, it is very joke-like to someone with a bit of common sense, but I have known *far* too many people that absolutely beleive exactly the nonsense that is being said on that site!

Not just a few scattered backwoods freaks....I mean people all over the damn place that I see on a daily basis.

If this site *is* purely a joke, I would have to say it is even sadder than if it's not. Anyone that would spend that much time and energy on making a joke of that level of detail and elaboration has some *serious* problems.

I'm not sure if it is a joke or not, to be honest:

Any individual article could be taken as a joke, but the page as a whole makes me kinda uncertain.

CBF: I never said I pity all christianity, I do pity alot of those cults, such as jehova's witness and whole lot of others, but the point is, that site makes chritianity look really bad!
And as DL said, if someone spends so much time working on that site to write some really inane/silly articles, which ALOT of people consider to be true...they have got seriouse metal problems

What's insane about writing satire? Some people even think articles in The Onion are true. I'd say that the writers of Objective Ministries have put a lot of effort into their peculiarly subtle form of satire, but not quite enough for them to be deranged. Just... really angry at Christianity.

Cell 1250 :: alanmacdougall.com :: Illustrator tips

I agree. I would not be surprised if the same people were behind this that were behind the Landover Baptist Church site.
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

quote:

---

What's insane about writing satire?

---

This goes well beyond satire.

It's also nothing I would call "subtle".

It's frightening quite frankly, whether it is serious or a joke only determines in which way it is frightening.

As I said, I have known far too many people who would fully agree with everything on that page, and who would probably be involved with the creation of such things to be convinced it's a joke...

The onion is a whole different story, and hardly worth mentioning anyway...




[This message has been edited by DL-44 (edited 11-30-2003).]