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WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 11-02-2004 09:30

Is your computer possessed by a Demon?

quote:
"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to
house an evil spirit," the minister confirmed. The
Savannah clergyman says he became aware of the
problem from counseling churchgoers.

"I learned that many members of my congregation
became in touch with a dark force whenever they
used their computers," he said. "Decent, happily
married family men were drawn irresistibly to
pornographic websites and forced to witness
unspeakable abominations.

"Housewives who had never expressed an impure
thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found
themselves spewing foul, debasing language they
would never use normally.

"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel
when I'm on the computer as if someone else or
something else just takes over.'"



Man, this just reduces me to giggles. I can't help but picture someone who looks strangely like Jimmy Swaggart, with tears running down their cheeks, saying "The computer made me do it! I have sinned against you!!!"

poi
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: France
Insane since: Jun 2002

posted posted 11-02-2004 12:54

What the hell can we do ?

Do we need to call the GohstBusters ? an exorcist ?
Shall we spill blessed water on our computers to avoid dirty talking and impure thoughts ?
Slap the minister with a trout ? did I said that aloud ? Damn computer! the devil inside you make me blaspheme

DmS
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Sthlm, Sweden
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 11-02-2004 14:50

It says in the text that we can reformat and install again...
But as you install windows, does that really get rid of the demon...
/D

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{ “Computer games don’t affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we’d all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.” (Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989.) }-

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 11-02-2004 15:57
quote:
text that we can reformat and install again



Well, that is one way of removing the "stain" of "sin"...hehe. Why didn't God just give us all reformatable souls?

"Oh no! I just killed someone!" *presses reformat soul button*

"Whew!"

tntcheats
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: BC, Canada
Insane since: Jun 2004

posted posted 11-02-2004 16:47

1 4[]\/[] 73[]~[] 3\/1|_ []~[]4><0|2 [])3[]\/[]0[]\[] 1[]\[] 7[]\[]7([]~[]3475' (0[]\/[]p0073|2!!111!!

-----------------------------------------------------
funny websites | funny signatures | funny jokes

Ozone Asylum KILLED my inner child.

Amaruuk
Nervous Wreck (II) Inmate

From: 5 square miles surrounded by reality
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 11-02-2004 19:33

Well.
That explains the last 10 years of MY life.

Amaruuk

"In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself."
Albert Einstein

White Hawk
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: out of nowhere...
Insane since: May 2004

posted posted 11-03-2004 01:40

7|\|7(H3475- j00|2 (0|\/|P0073|2'5 |)3|\/|0|\| 5P33/<5 4 D14L3|<7 0F L337! 7H47'5 PHJ34|25U|\/|!

I can only do lama (and loud, at that)...


Demons in PCs? I'm fine - no problems at all.

I fashioned my PC case from the bones of exhumed saints; my components are all blessed and certified holy relics (amazing what money can buy) and just to cover all angles, the CPU and RAM chips are engraved with protective pentagrams. I have a holy-water cooling system to stop it all getting hot as hell too, but I had to uninstall the miniature Witch Doctor as his toilet habits were causing frequent system failures and he kept getting his headpiece jammed in the PSU fan.

Three years so far without a major exorcism - but I've found the remains of a few gremlins in the drive-bay cruciform springtrap.

Anyway - I've already signed a deal with Sata... I mean Bill Gates, so I'm technically protected from evil by association.

==I don't believe it! Somebody stole my sig!!==

(Edited by White Hawk on 11-03-2004 01:42)

InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Elizabethtown, KY
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 11-03-2004 06:09

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that it took me about five minutes to comprehend what tnt said.

tntcheats
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: BC, Canada
Insane since: Jun 2004

posted posted 11-03-2004 07:03

`/4 53[]~[]|2 |_||83|2|245([]~[]3[]\[], \/\/[]~[]173[]~[]4\/\/[]<. 4|83|2 35 |8157 |83553|2 \/\/3[]\[][]\[] 35 5p|23([]~[]7 |)3(_)5([]~[] []~[]4><0|2 31337!!!1!1!

I can read and comprehend Haxor Eleet at about the same speed that I can read German--excluding German words I don't understand, of which there are way too many for the amount of German I speak to be useful at all.

-----------------------------------------------------
funny websites | funny signatures | funny jokes

Ozone Asylum KILLED my inner child.

Skaarjj
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: :morF
Insane since: May 2000

posted posted 11-03-2004 09:00

Well, hasn't Unix been telling us this for years? *starts up his dialer daemon*

But god... how many times do I have to tell people? my computer is not inhabited by a demon. The demon is sitting at the keyboard.

Sangreal
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: the league of Professional Mop Jockeys
Insane since: Apr 2004

posted posted 11-27-2004 05:43

HAHAHA---Sorry but that is just pathetic. It reminds me of a similiar new story i read n my psychology class, this woman in Australia kept going out and having sex with random strangers during the night. When her boyfriend found out she claimed to be sleep walking or having sleep-sex and that this was a legit excuse for the umpteen tens of affairs she'd had. This is not a recognized sleep disorder, but according to the article it is happening more and more. You know why? BECAUSE SHE MADE IT UP!!!!!! PEOPLE ARE JUST TRYING TO USE IT AS A PATHETIC EXCUSE AND TO GET ATTENTION!!! And do you know why that is? It's because the human race, americans imparticularly are pathetic! The computer forced me to go to a porn site! BULL $#@! . You had a choice. You wanted to go there if you didn't want to go there, don't. Plain and simple, black and white, clear as CRYSTAL!!

History is nothing but a fable that has been agreed upon.
-Napolean Bonaparte

outcydr
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: out there
Insane since: Oct 2001

posted posted 11-27-2004 06:06

slaps sangreal with fish from another thread

ah! that's better

where's Master Suho when you need him?

Desma
Nervous Wreck (II) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Nov 2004

posted posted 11-30-2004 02:34

"Decent, happily
married family men were drawn irresistibly to
pornographic websites and forced to witness
unspeakable abominations."


Those are just repressed people that had the chance of getting some porn without having to go to a video store, you can call it 'demons', to me its simple someone doing what they want, why blame others for your behaviour??

AlterEgo
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2004

posted posted 11-30-2004 18:49
quote:
InSiDeR said:

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that it took me about five minutes to comprehend what tnt said.


quote:
tntcheats said:

1 4[]\/[] 73[]~[] 3\/1|_ []~[]4><0|2 [])3[]\/[]0[]\[] 1[]\[] 7[]\[]7([]~[]3475' (0[]\/[]p0073|2!!111!!


So what does that say?

[edit: finally got rid of irritating sig]

(Edited by AlterEgo on 11-30-2004 18:52)

I X I
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: beyond the gray sky
Insane since: Apr 2004

posted posted 11-30-2004 23:33

I am teh evil haxor demon in tntcheats' compooter !!111!!

I'm having trouble with

quote:
tntcheats said:

`/4 53[]~[]|2 |_||83|2|245([]~[]3[]\[]
&
4|83|2 35 |8157 |83553|2 \/\/3[]\[][]\[] 35 5p|23([]~[]7 |)3(_)5([]~[] []~[]4><0|2 31337!!!1!1!



I got the WhiteHawk in between, but is that german l337?



Some people say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one (John Lennon)

Handarazuur
Obsessive-Compulsive (I) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Dec 2004

posted posted 12-04-2004 12:20

What I find truly amusing is that they used a computer to put this on the Internet.

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