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_Mauro
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2005

posted posted 10-14-2005 17:19

'lo people.

Do I have to discuss this publicly? No.
Could I benefit from the public's eye on this one? Yes.

'nuff said, somebody has filed a lawsuit against me.
The lawsuite motivation is unclear as I have been notified directly, against the procedure, by the person,
who didn't dare to explain the why's, just threatened me "à la" Jame Dean of beating my arse and other cute things.

The person in question? A collaborator, who made his little parade during my working day, and happens to be my elder brother.
...
At best, I risk nothing at all, and will have the opportunity to charge back.
At worst, my lawyer has informed me I risk jail for a couple of months.

I am confident about this situation, have a magic lawyer, arguments and all, but... the question is: should I charge back to the fullest
extent if I can?

WebShaman
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 10-14-2005 17:41
quote:
Should I charge back to the fullest
extent if I can?



I always have; and I always will.

A fight isn't over, until it is won. Or I am dead. Whichever comes first.

Blaise
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: London
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 10-14-2005 17:42

Oh my... and I thought I was having a bad week, it's nice to see that there's someone else out there that's got problems far worse than mine, it brings things into perspective.

Just as you mentioned that you didn't need to share this with us, I'm glad you did, and I'll share my opinions with you, they may be slightly ligjht hearted or contrary to popular belief, but hell let's go, no more disclaimer!

Now i shouldn't pass judgement and indeed it's mostly impossible as I don't know the reasons for or against, I'm no judge either, but it sounds like your older brother is over-reacting hugely, not something I'd expect from a late-20's - 30's person to be doing, thus I must assume you've really pissed him off, or really have done something actually wrong.

All I do know is you, or Ini, perhaps an alter-ego of oneself, in the past you have been know to have outbursts of temper and, this I've always put down to over-reacting, but then everyone here went weird and started saying you should take things easy and get professional help, I thought they were over-acting!

If all things said are natural and true then perhaps your brother is really angry and fully expects to damage you, he should really think if puttin gyou in jail is the right thing to do, the unique situation here is that you are family, I assume you still have other family you can get involved to intermediate, and hopefully resolve this issue without the need for lawyers.

All I'm saying is, don't over-react!

and read my sig...

Cheers,

_Mauro
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2005

posted posted 10-14-2005 18:33

I am happy, thanks for the kind words. While I am not fully innocent, the original matter
won't get me condemned, 90% chances. I can strike back on charges of calomny for instance, if I pass the first painful days.

I have been striving a lifetime to recover from a broken psyche, was born and grown in hell.

My bro also has displayed envy towards my current professional position, as he is 40 years old,
has failed his software engineering studies, and is watching me take off.

I don't have a familly left, my Moms, my Sister, they ALL are against me on this one... all have been raised in violence,
and propagate this to their children.

I am alone, somehow, have great friends though, a special shout out to my dear kimson.
I won't let this stuff go unpaid for.

I am happy though, for the first time in my life I had found inner peace, I won't let anyone break that.

JKMabry
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: raht cheah
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 10-14-2005 21:10

apologize
you said you're in the wrong a bit?
Apologize for your wrong doing, turn over a new leaf being sensitive to not repeat the same mistake again

forgive
you said you had inner peace?
forgiveness acknowledges that you were wronged but gives up the 'right' to retaliate because you love.

guard against self righteousness
If you manage the 2 above you'll be feeling pretty good hopefully, but hopefully not in the wrongg way you dig?



Hope you get it sorted soon and end up with better relationships with your family in the end. If you're breaking the cycle in your family I hope you can help them in the process.

reisio
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Florida
Insane since: Mar 2005

posted posted 10-14-2005 21:41
quote:
_Mauro said:

should I charge back to the fullest extent if I can?


Only if you _need_ financial recuperation and cannot get it by other means (like making up with everyone), otherwise forgive and forget. If you can't forgive, try to ignore and forget.

Pugzly
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: 127.0.0.1
Insane since: Apr 2000

posted posted 10-15-2005 02:00

_Mauro -

As most people here know, I've had my own legal issues. Those ended in my favor, and spawned a pending lawsuit.

Should you need to talk to someone, I'm here. E-mail, ICQ, AIM, MSN Messenger, Y! Messenger, ..........

NoJive
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: The Land of one Headlight on.
Insane since: May 2001

posted posted 10-15-2005 03:21

When *possible* always take the 'high road.'

_Mauro
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2005

posted posted 10-15-2005 21:37

Ok, some details. Jail and fines are already out of the way.
It appears that my brother has filed the lawsuit against the rest of my family's will, furthermore.

JK, everybody, thanks for the support and advice, the only thing is... my wrong doing was provoked, not spontaneous, and that'll be part of my defense.

What happened on Friday was that big bro called me at work threatening me.. "come, outside, I am waiting for you, or I'll come and make a scandal..."
My boss went with me as my bro, as a security officer, is armed, and indeed, he was mad enough to be dangerous.

And, problem behind this situation is that the outbursts I was famous for, among things, were caused by such an habit of intra family violence, moral and physical, that I was not able to define my limits and draw my own boundaries without using agressivity myself: I had learnt I was shite, almost literally..

Now I am able to express my views without hurting another person, among improvements over myself, and this is a matter of getting justice, simply: big bro is not John Wayne, has no license to threaten me or compromise my working day, and mainly... is not RIGHT.

He will learn.

The hard way, for they have never had mercy for me, and I am tired of trying means of restoring communication the kind way.

---------------------

The concept being: they've "had" me for a lifetime (my family), the act itself, while uncool of me, is about 5% of what they want to charge me for, what am I communicating if I bow down? "Keep on being a colleague who threatens me at work and outside policies, try to pour shame on me as you please, sh@t on me, it's ok."

It's not.

(Edited by _Mauro on 10-15-2005 21:56)

LaSun
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: deep inside my head
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 10-16-2005 01:21

hiya. just wanted to say... i know a thing or two about growing up in an environment of violence and retaliation... and the frustrating endlessness of all of that. those that become angry and reactionary as a result tend to always attract chaos into their lives, as well meaning as they might think they are. i wonder how your view of the situation is affected when you consider that your brother most likely grew up the same way you did - being older than you, he might have even had it worse.

as for what you should do now, forgive and forget is of course the most peaceful route... if anything, it is extremely therapeutic. but i've always believed that if a relationship with anyone continues to impinge on your sense of self worth, even after you've done everything in your power to fix it, then the only thing you can do is to leave it. the trick, though, is to leave with your dignity and self respect intact.

good luck...

--------------------------------------------
// i've got soul but i'm not a soldier //

(Edited by LaSun on 10-16-2005 01:25)

NoJive
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: The Land of one Headlight on.
Insane since: May 2001

posted posted 10-16-2005 09:06

And just remember... you can choose your friends but not your relatives.

_Mauro
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2005

posted posted 10-20-2005 10:27

'lo people, update:

1) Pugz, I would love to discuss this with you, ICQ is our friend.
2) My brother took the initiative without asking anybody, actually, my mother was against it.
3) My brother wasn't present during the facts (??? I suspect it quite spoils his point).
4) Since he has made his little spectacle during work, he has made an impact in terms of bad press over me... which forces me to strike back.

Are you with me on this one? At the moment I am accused of (still don't know what's his blame, btw), have been accused and threatened publicly.
What I would like to do, and will do, is:

1) Get to know what the blame is
2) Give my version of the facts
3) Strike back on charges of "calomnious denunciation", I think that's how we call it
4) Get to him at work: he is 40 years old, works in security, he can't afford my winning a trial over him.
So I'll inform him that the situation has "changed" a little,
and that if he persists, I simply will persist until victory, and in case of victory, will directly inform his superiors, which would lead him somewhere between
a warning and getting fired - and unlikely to be hired again, ever.

I hate having to do that, but it's a matter of protecting my public image.

What do you people think? Please, throw in opinions, it's getting hot.

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 10-20-2005 13:23
quote:

_Mauro said:

What do you people think? Please, throw in opinions, it's getting hot.



First and foremost: you do what you've got to do.

Secondly, "public image" is far less important than being able to live with yourself. Be careful how far you pursue the tit-for-tat line of thought. By the sounds of it, he'll be his own downfall - let him do the work.

WebShaman
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 10-20-2005 14:23

No better revenge, than watching an opponent destroy themselves.

The sad thing in this case is that it is a family member.

_Mauro
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From:
Insane since: Jul 2005

posted posted 10-20-2005 22:17
quote:

Be careful how far you pursue the tit-for-tat line of thought. By the sounds of it, he'll be his own downfall - let him do the work.



An excellent piece of advice, and the issue is settled in a "gentle" way (well, hoping this hasn't got me to loose my job).
InI isn't going to jail, has no fine to pay, and the war is over.

Well, that was the legal issue, the emotional issue of losing one's familly is another: two options, discussing towards a progress,
or forgetting and letting things go.
By the sound of the latest interactions I had with my sister, my familly should follow my example and seek therapy.

Until then, I am moving... upwards.

Thanks a lot people.

Yannah
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: In your Hard Drive! So beware...
Insane since: Dec 2002

posted posted 10-27-2005 05:41

This really bugs me, are Mauro and Ini siblings?

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Deviations | 5464 | My Poetry Cell | My Own Domain | Xanga| Support and advice needed. Now!
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| "The past will always attack the present with the pain of your memories." - Seiichi Kirima |
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(Edited by Yannah on 10-27-2005 05:42)

Tyberius Prime
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Germany
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 10-27-2005 08:33

Mauro is InI.

Blaise
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: London
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 10-27-2005 10:56

It's great isn't it! A bit like Days of our lives...

Yannah
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: In your Hard Drive! So beware...
Insane since: Dec 2002

posted posted 10-27-2005 11:51
quote:

Tyberius Prime said:

Mauro is InI.


quote:

Blaise said:

It's great isn't it! A bit like Days of our lives...


Sorry, I think I missed that episode, or maybe I have forgotten about that already.
Anyhow, sorry to hear about the unfortunate event that had occur.

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Deviations | 5464 | My Poetry Cell | My Own Domain | Xanga| Support and advice needed. Now!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
| "The past will always attack the present with the pain of your memories." - Seiichi Kirima |
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