Some suggestions? — OZONE Asylum, home of the Mad Scientists

Some suggestions?

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Your Text: Insert Slimies » Insert UBB Code » Close Last Tag \| All Tags UBB Help	I'm gonna go through, click by click, and focus on the 'little things'. Everybody else here is bang on. Listen to them and learn. My points are auxillary...and some would call them nit-picky. I call them professional. =) New Patients > How to Schedule Exams 404 New Patients > Insurance Information First sentence could be reworded. Perhaps, "We accept most major health insurance and workers' compensation plans. We also offer private payment plans." New Patients > Patients Rights Fine New Patients > My Results Fine New Patients > Online Forms Perhaps it is a colloquialism, but 'print it up' sounds not professional to me. How about simply, 'print it'? Don't use 'Click Here'. Instead, make the name of the form the hyperlink. Warn the user: A) the documents will be non-HTML (pdfs in this case) B) the documents are of what size New Patients > Online Forms > Privacy Practice Form Second page, first heading "Healthcare Operations" should read "Health Care Operations" Second page, fourth heading "Others involved in your healthcare" should read "Others involved in your health care" Third page, near the bottom heading "Workers Compensation" should read "Workers' Compensation" Third page, last sentence "Following is a statement of your rights..." needs final punctuation Fourth page, first non-heading sentence ends with two periods Fourth page, second non-heading sentence "...will be fulfilled within 7 days..." spell out numbers less than 10 New Patients > Online Forms > MRI Patient Screening Form First paragraph, list of items not to be taken into MRI room -- Jewelry is capitalized and shouldn't be 10th item in check list reads "An insulin or infusion pumps" -- 'An' is singular, 'pumps' is plural. Resolve. New Patients > Online Forms > Patient Registration Form Looks good About MRI > What is Stand-Up MRI? Menu heading reads "About Stand-up MRI" which is not consistant with the page heading First paragraph is indented. Others from New Patients pages were not. As briefly look at other pages, I notice some are indented and some are not. This should be resolved. Though the trouble runs through your site, I won't mention it again. About MRI > About MRI First, I would change the name so it wasn't the same as the main heading...and I'd probably put it before 'What is Stand-Up MRI' because it is more general information More padding on the left side of the page "Previous gun wound"...what if I just got pistol-whipped in the jaw? Maybe "gunshot wound" or "bullet wound" would be more appropriate While we're here, why "Previous"? If it happens in the future I won't likely know about it...and if it's happening now an MRI is the last thing on my mind! =) About MRI > MRI Images clicking on image does not allow me to view the images in full size as advertised About MRI > Position Images Fine I might have put some descriptions about the use of some of those positions...but that's really an 'extra'. About MRI > Case Studies First sentence, "...doesn't just enable clauserphobic..." should be "...claustrophobic..." First sentence, "...it also produces quallity images!" should be "...quality..." Remove the exclamation point. It isn't professional. Second menu item "...Hernation" should be "...Herniation" About MRI > Case Studies > Bladder and Uterine Prolapse Second sentence "Note the decent...pubococygeal line which occurs with standing..." should read "...pubococygeal line, which occurs with standing..." About MRI > Case Studies > Position-Related Recurrent Disc Hernation This page is not laid out like the previous case study. Consistant layout is good. About MRI > Case Studies > Evaluation of Spinal Stability Fine About MRI > Case Studies > Upright Dynamic MRI Reveals Hidden Disc Herniation Fine About MRI > Case Studies > Postoperative Hypermobile Instability Fine About MRI > Case Studies > Upright Dynamic MRI Reveals Occult Disc Herniation Again with the different layout. No good, man. Driving Directions Blank page About Us > Interpreting MD's This is not possessive. The menu "Interpreting MD's" should read "Interpreting MDs". The heading "Interpreting Radiologist" does not match the menu item. Consistancy is key. Also, Interpreting Radiologist is misleading, as there are more than one radiologists on the page. About Us > About Our Staff Again with the menu and page headings not matching I'm going to take this moment to write about writing for the web. Less is more. A general rule-of-thumb I use is this: Take every sentence and rewrite it to say the exact opposite. Now, imagine a someone -- anyone -- using that sentence. If you can't, delete the original. It is useless. Let me give you an example from this page. The staff of Medica Stand-Up MRI is highly experienced and thoroughly trained. Now flip it. The staff of [insert company] is not very experienced and poorly trained. Would ANYBODY EVER put use that sentence in their advertising? Nope. Kill it. People come to a web site to get information and get it fast. They are not going to be impressed by bloated words on a web site. They will believe you are pros by seeing Dr. credentials, meeting friendly staff, and seeing a clean, warm, comforting facility. Also, if at all possible, don't write in the passive voice. About Us > About Medica Again with the menu/page heading mismatch. I won't mention it again. This is an issue. Second paragraph, third sentence is too long. Perhaps, "With their technology, and sub-specialties...times on interpretations. We guarantee a preliminary report to the referring physician within four hours..." Also, remember to spell out all numbers less than 10. Four is less than 10. Third paragraph/sentence misuses the semicolon. Semicolons are for connecting two clauses, both of which are capable of standing as sentences on their own. Read my note above about verbosity. Third bullet item "...even the same say in most cases" should read "...even the same day in most cases" About Us > Mission and Values Now I'm double confused. What is the name of the company? The header graphic reads "Medica Stand-Up MRI", the previous page starts with "Medica Imaging, LLC is owned..." and now this page says, "The mission of Medica Forsyth Open MRI & CT..." Values are not sentences and do not have punctuation. Goals are not sentences and do have punctuation. consistancy Contact > Contact Us No mailing address No colon after "Fax Number" Urgh, not with the "Click here" bit again... Contact > Billing Inquiries Inqueries, in the heading, is misspelled First sentence has no punctuation Required feilds... should read "Required fields..." Contact > Email Us First sentence, "Please Use..." should be "Please use..." Another "click here" No exclamation points, please. FAQ WHAT IS STAND-UP MAGNETIC RESONANCE IMAGING(MRI) AND HOW DOES IT WORK? Fourth paragraph, "An Stand-UP MRI..." should be "A Stand-Up MRI..." Second bullet item doesn't make sense in the form of a sentence. "[A] Stand-Up MRI differs from a traditional MRI in that it lower noise levels." Third bullet item, more of the same What the hell is a 'contraindication'? I know what it is, but the general public does not. Is MRI for Everyone? Second sentence, "...if you have either of the following:" and then a list of three. 'Either' implies two. Next paragraph, "...may prevent individuals from having an MRI." Previously on the site this was always written, "...a MRI...". Be consistant. How Do I Prepare... Second bullet item, second sentence, "We may request that you to change into..." Reword. Fifth bullet item, "...30-60 minutes at a time due to pain an/or..." should read "...due to pain and/or..." What Should I Expect... Fine How Long... Fine Links More padding MedicalImaging.com ...want to consider scheduling your next exam at one of these center... ...want to consider scheduling your next exam at one of these centers... Quantum Radiology Rewrite first sentence -- awkward. Perhaps split into two sentences at "...known for..." Fonar No exclamation points, please. That's it. Every page of your site, hastily visited and commented on. I hope it helps. Good luck. Loading...
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