Topic awaiting preservation: Back to motherland

Hmm...its been 5 years, since I left it...
Now I am sitting in my fathers office typing this...
well what can I say, things did drastically change here, the big change is that every teenager, young adult and friend I know smoke. I cant even believe it, even all girls do.
Alcohol also have taken over teenager's and young adult's lifes. They constantly go to bars.
I somehow miss good old times...
In any way I am still happy to see everyone be they smokers, drinkers, they still are my old friends...

another problem, I feel very diffrent now...I no longer feel that I belong somehwere at all...no matter what language I speak, I speak with accent...this already seperates me from people.
Old Friends and even family members see me as a foreigner...from now on, no matter where I am I am a foreigner. This makes me feel little bad...
I guess no matter where I go I will always be a foreigner.

*sight*

Life is short, life is dumb, nothing lasts, and people change.

I don't know what to tell you, Ruski, except that I know how you feel. There are others here who know how you feel, too, so maybe you can take some comfort in that.

Things are never going to be the same for you--you're never going to be able to go back to who you used to be. I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but the sooner you face reality and accept it, the sooner you will be able to appreciate the unique advantages of your situation (like having a unique understanding and insight into certain aspects of life), rather than being overwhelmed by the disadvantages. Trust me, you'll come out ahead in the end.

I guess there are actually many more things I could say, and I could fill pages with the words, but you will eventually learn all these things for yourself.




www.liminality.org

i've heard that Americans frequently go through culture shock when they return home after travelling abroad... you may just be going through the same sort of reponse to your home - especially after being away for so long..



[edit] as Suho noted. you are a different person now. you have seen and done things which are alien to many of those around you...

[This message has been edited by velvetrose (edited 07-15-2003).]

I can only go along with what the others have said. I gave up even trying to "go back home" after 3 years away, and now I just take my home with me, and hope those strange people who used to be me friends are still tolerant of my oddity. Nowadays I travel. I have no hankerings for "home" because I don't have a "home" in that sense, or at least, not a "home town" or a "home country".

It's very hard to "come home" to people who have continued to live the same life for 5 or 10 years, when you have been on the move, and done/experienced so many new things. Many of the things you want to talk about don't even fit within their frame of reference. Scene in the pub - you and your friends ...

"How are you doing?"
"Pretty good - Got married, had kids, moved to a new part of town. The cat - you remember tibbles? - died last month. How about you - what have ytou been up to?"
"Pretty good too. Spent 2 years in Borneo on the edge of the jungle, moved over to Singapore for 6 months on the way to the US ... etc ... etc ..."
..... embarassing silence .....

You are only a "foreigner" amongs foreigners. People like you are not foreign to you, nor would they find you foreign ... and there are some in every city in the world.

There is no such thing as going back ... you can only go forwards ... even if it's to a place where you have been before.

(PS - VelvetRose .. I've heard of Californians who have suffered from Culture Shock visiting Texas!!)


Bug-free software only exisits in two places
A programmer's mind and a salesman's lips

[This message has been edited by trib (edited 07-15-2003).]

your *sigh* has an accent =D and I for one love it.

You're not a foreigner, your a guy with an accent, very sexy. See? All better!

Jason

Hey Ruski, I felt like a stranger all my life. Especially in the country I was born in. You see both my parents are from different countries.. and I was born in another one still. I am part of three cultures, but all of nothing. Man that used to get me so down.

So I left the place of my birth. I left about 18 times and went looking for a home and belonging in 18 different countries. Well guess what? I did not find what I ws looking for.I was looking in all the wrong places. I was looking on the outside... I forgot to look inside myself. What once made me so sad and depressed has become one of my greatest assets. I would not change a thing.

I think too that your not alone with these feelings.... and it too shall pass

ahh thank you

Hey, you feeling a little better now mate?

As Xpirex i also never felt "at home" anywere in my life my mother was a from belgium and my father was dutch so i grew up in two cultures. And i did not fit in (though being dutch is easier since i grew up in the netherlands..)
When i was 19 my dad died and at 21 my mother followed and so everything what was "home" was removed out my life, only the house lasted but is was silent and scary now.
Then i moved to friesland, only a few hundred kilometers away but a toally different part of the country and i lost all my friends back then. Only one friendship has been restored just recently when i moved back to old region...

But i learned a lot and my home is going with me and when i move i will build a new one somewhere else.
Also this forum is part off my home (sounds a bit silly don't you think?)

Here is ome good meant advice: Do not try to restore the old friendships it will not work since you are al changed and different now. Better try to develop new freindships with the same and other people.

And when people ask you : "Where is your home ?" You can always answer "The world is my home"

Btw for what reason are you going back now? (just curious)




__________________________________________
"Art has to be forgotten. Beauty must be realized."
Piet Mondriaan

I myself have always felt as an outsider, I know what you are feeling Ruski. I have mostly learned to live by these two simple ways. 1. Just be who you are, do what you want to do, and if anyone does not like you, then to hell with em. Be friends with someone else then. 2. treat others the way you would want to be treated, no matter who they are. For me they are easy enough to go by. It helps with the culture shock.

withdrawal in process.

[This message has been edited by Xpirex (edited 08-06-2003).]

Rinswind the reason I went back to see my family and friends hoping everything to be great and cool....

about right now I am soon going to go back to Puerto Rico. I have to share that I was highly disapointed with vacation here.....

I left Lithuania when I was in 6th grade, now I am going to be senior.
Comming back and seening my father with new wife and 4 years old daughter, made me feel wierd....
Finding out that my godfather is in Jail made me feel even worse...yes I went to visit him...guess what he is sitting there for nothing.

I tried calling some girls I knew in school and around, they would say we could meet but later...and never replayed my call...when I was walking around the city I saw one, she was with some other girl...funny thing she wasnt in hurry at all and when I stopped and looked at her she just looked back and smiled and kept walking her way...( yes she knows me and did recognize me)...what a bitch...that was 2nd time....

my family seems like a big mess...older causing is a total thug..... grandma is still drinking. I dont know what else to say but I still feel very sad...I thank you for all your advice I highly appreciate them......

ohh well time to go...I will tell you more later,

time is up in Internet cafe....

Dam..