Topic awaiting preservation: 20 Things That Never Happen on Star Trek

1 The Enterprise runs into a mysterious energy field of a type it has encountered several times before.
2 The Enterprise goes to visit a remote outpost of scientists, who are all perfectly alright.
3 Some of the crew visits the holodeck, and it works properly.
4 The crew of the Enterprise discovers a totally new life form, which later turns out to be a rather well-known old life form wearing a funny hat.
6 The crew of the Enterprise is struck by a mysterious plague, for which the only cure can be found in the well-stocked Enterprise sick-bay.
7 The Captain has to make a difficult decision about a less advanced people which is made a great deal easier by the Starfleet Prime Directive.
8 The Enterprise successfully ferries an alien VIP from one place to another without a serious incident.
9 An enigmatic being composed of pure energy attempts to interface with the Enterprise's computer, only to find out that it has forgotten to bring the right leads.
10 A power surge on the bridge is rapidly and correctly diagnosed as a faulty capacitor by the highly-trained and competent engineering staff.
11 The Enterprise is captured by a vastly superior alien intelligence which does not put them on trial.
12 The Enterprise is captured by a vastly inferior alien intelligence which they easily pacify by offering it some candy.
13 The Enterprise visits an earth-type planet called "Paradise" where everyone is happy all of the time.
14 A major Starfleet emergency breaks out near the Enterprise, but fortunately some other ships in the area are able to deal with it to everyone's satisfaction.
15 The Enterprise is involved in a bizarre time-warp experience which is in some way unconnected with the Late 20th Century.
16 Kirk (or Riker) falls in love with a woman on a planet he visits, and isn't tragically separated from her at the end of the episode.
17 Counsellor Troi states something other than the blindingly obvious.
18 The warp engines start playing up a bit, but seem to sort themselves out after a while without any intervention from boy genius Wesley Crusher.
19 Wesley Crusher gets beaten up by his classmates for being a smarmy git, and consequently has a go at making some friends of his own age for a change.
20 Spock (or Data) is fired from his high-ranking position for not being able to understand the most basic nuances of about one in three sentences that anyone says to him.

:::11oh1:::

heh heh... "smarmy git"...

Yep - none of that ever happened on any Star Trek episode I ever saw!


Cell 617

Poor Wil, still getting flack after all these years...

Funny stuff.


___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org

where's number 5??

I'd personally finance the making of the episode where crusher gets a beat-down, provided I get to play the guy giving the beat-down.

I want to play the stick DL-44 uses to beat wesley 'stupid guy' crusher.
heh

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Do something usefull: support Justice for Pat Richard

Rinswind have you read any of the Discworld books?
I got a kick out of this thread

If one match can start a forest fire then why does it take the whole box to start a BBQ Grill?

5 All plotholes in the episode are filled in by the end credits.

And after DL-44 and Rinswind 2th are done with Wesley...I get what's left...hehe.

Wow... some people have some serious Wesley issues to work out...

...?

Oh, Wes, I didn't want you to have to see this... I will be available for counseling and/or shock therapy in the tower if you need me.

As for the rest of you, if you can't think of something nice to say about Wes, don't say it at all!

Let's see what Dork Tower has to say about this:

http://archive.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/archive.asp?nextform=viewcomic&id=732

Justice 4 Pat Richard

21. The Enterprise encounters a Borg Cube which does not attempt to assimilate Captain Picard.

oddly enough, I think I heard Data say "isn't" the other day on TNG (spike TV kicks ass!)... now, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought data COULD NOT use contractions


...Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most (ozzy osbourne)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

*ahem*

It's not that Data couldn't use contractions, it's that he just didn't. He began picking up colloquialisms later in the series.

I fell for a geek check there, didn't I?

OOoooooh yeah

Heheh....didn't want to say it but....yeah, and then some

I'm so glad somebody else pointed that out... thanks Wes - I couldn't have stopped myself much longer.