Preserved Topic: Crazy Sayings II

The last thread was getting to be to long so I closed it and started a new thread.

"Well, if that ain't up the dumper"

Cool! I thought of a few more...

"Well, shut my mouth"
"You coulda knocked me over with a feather"
"It's common, it happens to all men, and it's no big deal" (ugh)
"He's busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest"


[This message has been edited by Allewyn (edited 04-13-2001).]

Referring to a female:
"I'd eat the corn out of a mile of shit for one look at her pooper."

This is one I used recently.......

You can look at the menu... you just can't order

It`s always darkest just before the dawn. ( which I have found not to be true )

Long as a country mile. ( 16 city blocks is a mile. In the country, blocks are a mile long )


Any port in a storm

It does about as much good as pissing into the wind.

:laughin at linear:
: wondering what Shii lady could mean, heh :

"Sometimes you eat the bear, sometimes the bear eats you!"

: very educational DB, I didn't know that :

LOL @ Shiiizzzam

I found this one somewhere, seems to suit this subject...

English is a Crazy Language

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index,
2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you
comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps
you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while
quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell
one day and cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are
absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a
sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who
was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those
people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That
is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but
when I wind up this essay, I end it.




(the original is at http://www.collegehumor.com/text/englishcrazy.htm )

If two men are alone in the woods talking, and there are no women around, are they still wrong?

[This message has been edited by Tracy (edited 04-15-2001).]

You can lead a horse to water, but yoiu cant make him drink

( You can lead people to knowledge, but you can`t make them think. )

Isn`t that just the cat`s meow ?

mahjga,

I've always wondered why the plural of lint is lint.

'shut yer gob yer fat get'

: laughin at JK :
Ok, that's a saying, all right!

Say hi to your Mum for me
Yo! Waz zup!

Okay I heard this on one of the radio stations in Hawaii.

Lady: Did you ever notice how the most of womens' problems start with men?

Man: Hmmm...What?

Lady: Yah, well whenever women are emotionally taxed, they have mental breakdowns. Every once a month, women usually have menstral cramps. Who do they see for their annual pap smear? A gynecologist. I mean if something is seriously wrong with a woman's uterus, she has a hysterectomy.

Man: Wow that's true, I guess. Well what about when a guy gets a sexually transmitted viral disease, huh? He could contract herpes, huh? Or if he has to relieve himself, he goes she she.

Ok, I know this was lame, but when I heard it on the radio, it was sooooo funny!!!LOL!



[This message has been edited by Hawn grl (edited 04-16-2001).]

docilebob - you can lead a whore to culture, but you cant make her think...

you can't squeeze blood out of a turnip - I seem to be using that a lot lately

You can't spit into the wind!

Hey Hawn grl, is that Japanese?

as useful as a car full of cold water
as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike
as useful as tits on a bull
off like a brides nightie
off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun
flat out like a lizard drinking
busier than a cat burying its business
gone walkabout
shes apples
up shit creek without a paddle
(they/he/she)'s one roo loose in the top paddock
piece a' piss
dry as a dead dingos donger
its mickey mouse
hold your horses
wrong end of the stick
two shakes of a lambs tail
bobs your aunties live in lover
in a pickle
two fiths of five eighths of fuck all
two hopes - buckleys and none
couldnt organise a root in a brothel
couldnt organise a piss up in a brewery
have a captain cook (or a butchers hook)
chuck a wobbly
spit the dummy
mates rates
(he/she/they)'ve got tickets on themselves
bignoter
too right (mate)

its late...thats all i can think of right now, there are heeps more tho hehe ppl here are nuts =)



[This message has been edited by Weadah (edited 04-21-2001).]

: laughin at wead : those are great, neat to hear different sayings from around the world

<edit: fat fingers!>

[This message has been edited by Allewyn (edited 05-11-2001).]

Hey silence <waves>

Yah, I think it is Japanese, but the spelling is shi shi, not she she, but then again, Hawaii is such a melting pot that sometimes one word, in which one may have thought originated from the Hawaiian language, could actually be from the Chinese language ( which dialect, I have no idea).

Cool, that's what I thought. Makes sense now

Here's my contribution:
up shit creek without a paddle
you think you're hot shit, but you're not even a cold fart (don't ask where I heard this )

Got a couple more, to bring it up to date for those who haven't posted and want to...

"Out of the frying pan, into the fire"
"It's been a long time comin..."

Hey, DB, Enos "Country Mile" Slaughter (Old famous baseball player could hit a baseball 16 miles? Holy shit, no wonder he's a Hall 'O Famer!

How can I miss you if you won't go away!

Since we have another Texan in the White House, this short guide might be useful:

1. The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving (Not overly-intelligent)
2. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party (self-explanatory)
3. Tighter than bark on a tree ( Not very generous)
4. Big hat, no cattle (All talk and no action)
5. We've howdied but we ain't shook yet (We've made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced)
6. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow (He has a pretty high opinion of himself)
7. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth (That woman can Talk)
8. It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs (We really could use a little rain around here)
9. Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly (Appearances can be deceptive)
10. This ain't my first rodeo (I've been around awhile.)
11. He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch (Not the most handsome of men)
12. They ate supper before they said grace (Living in sin)
13. Time to paint your rear white and run with the antelope (Stop arguing and do as you're told)
14. As full of wind as a corn-eating horse (Rather prone to boasting)
15. You can put your boots in the oven, but that doesn't make them biscuits

docile bob,

i think you meant to say:

you can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.

(shows a student the same word in different contexts)

whatever...

recently heard this one:

cry me a river, build me a bridge, now walk over it

Spam is yummy
~babamba

: laughing at bugs : love the big hat one!

"Ya get what ya pay for"



[This message has been edited by Allewyn (edited 05-12-2001).]

here goes an old saying in portuguese...

bosta por bosta, joga tudo no ventilador

translation: if shit happens, throw it in the ventilator

bms - i do really rock!