Topic awaiting preservation: Stress. Capital S.

So, how do you guys best deal with it without turning to booze or drugs?

I'll not get into a lengthy bitch fest about all the little things that are stressing me out, it's mostly my job and the fact that I can't seem to find something soon enough to apease my fantasies of walking in and flipping everyone the bird the next morning. So, until it comes around, I have to deal with it somehow, or someone near me will be hurtin'. Just kidding, of course, but the frustration is quite real and it alone is enough to render my day a bad one.

So, I tried lifting weights, playing video games, listening to music, even making baby Jesus cry a little. However, the lack of even one almighty dollar prevents me from guzzlin' a brew (or six, twelve, whatever...) down and washing away the overpowering taste of anger away with my bad days.

You know, maybe pan handling isn't such a bad way to make a living... hmm...

It's all about how you want to view your world. You have a lot of control over how you react to stress. I know it sounds almost too simple but you are as happy as you choose to be.

A few weeks ago I was getting extremely depressed about some things in my life. I chose to be very resentful and I kept dwelling on very negative thoughts. I could have done things to overcome that if I wanted but the truth of the matter was that I wanted to be down and negative because it was easier for me and I was just plain being selfish and immature.

But if you still find yourself getting down, the best remedy is to serve others. Find some people in need and volunteer yourself to service. I don't know your religious beliefs but that plays a big part in how this service thing works. But even if you are not religious, maybe you could give it try and see if it works.

Oh, and one more possibility. Read the book of Ecclesiastes then go for a long walk alone. Then do that two more times and see how you feel after that. I hear it works wonders for depression and stress.

: . . DHTML Slice Puzzle : . . . : Justice 4 Pat Richard : . .

Well I didn't handle it, and ended up on a 6months sick leave.. not a nice situation.

Now that I'm I've decided that I can't let my job be my #1 priority anymore.
I try not to work overtime, and I try not to be too engaged in what I do (meaning; keeping a distance to it all.. "it's only a job "

Also I picked up on a few of my long gone hobbies and allow me to actually engage in them. Meaning that I set off time to do them, and even if I don't feel like it at times I have forbidden myself to do anything work-related during my allocated time.

For me flipping through the channels or playing video games does not work very well as a stress reliever. It still let some part of my brain focus on work..

I prefer things that kind of absorbs all my attention or physical activities. Walking for hours, painting (all analog with an actual brush ), working out, reading etc.

Best of luck!

Walking or running can help.
Once when I had started learning three days before an exam, after 16 hours of sitting over theoretical mechanics equations, I thought "I´ll go jogging for a bit now" I ended up running four hours, which was about three times as much as I had ever done before - and I felt great afterwards...

In lack of a punching bag you could also beat up a pillow while thinking about the person(s) getting on your nerves - it´s actually recommended by some psychologists... just let it all out without someone getting hurt.

Video games or TV don´t work because they create additional stress hormones while not giving you a bodily activity to break them down.

Bottom line: Get moving in a physical way, and don´t let a bunch of A-holes ruin valueable days of your lifetime - they´re not worth your anger...

just SMILE

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We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.
Aesop (620 BC - 560 BC)

A lengthy walk did put my mood in a bit different light yesturday, of course only after swearing that if I saw one more minute of canned laughter induced tripe, I'd have to get rid of my TV. With my foot.

I wish I could let it bug me less than it does, though when people seem to go out of their way to abuse my kindness and take advantage of my generosity, it makes me want to completely flip out on them. And that's really not who I am, for the most part I'm quite happy living life with the old rule of 'do unto others'. So, perhaps I let people walk over me... the suck in this situation is that I don't see a way to reverse it without coming across as a complete butthole.

But the walking thing, it worked better than I figured... might have me a new hobby. Go figure

Thanks guys.

I prefer lifting weights and running.

A lot of people like to work out in the morning before work/school but I prefer later on in the evening so you can work off whats bugging you.

Bandwagon American Since 9/11/01

Get me anywhere near trees and green and grass and I can rapidly shed practically all worries, stress, gloom or pessimism... and the pain inflicted by association with humans. Sound too seems to have miraculous curative and healing powers for me.. like low frequency humming, (close to chanting) combined with slow Tai Chi like movements.. or experimenting with tone clusters and the permutations of vibrations on a well tuned classical or flamenco guitar will put me in a place where earthly stress disolves from my psyche.

QUOTATION: "The trouble with a rat race is that even when you win, you're still a rat.''

Today is the first time that I have flipped out in a long time. The kids finally got to me.

Went into the bathroom and screamed. Then I went outside and kicked stuff around. I mean, I seriously kicked stuff around. Those silly plastic toys didn't stand a chance. Man, unleashing the physical sure felt good. Even punched the shed a few times.

For regular, everyday stress, a few minutes of Nintendo usually does the trick. Easy-cheesy mode and blast everybody. Or I'll put my headphones on and do some housework.

I gotta start doing Tai Chi more often.

I tend to perform much better under extream stress. Often times I find myself creating more stress for my self when there is too little or none necessary. Now, how sick is that.

I think Drawing is what I do the help me, you can always tell when I am getting stressed as no free paper space, is left unmarked. Not realy anything indentifiyable, more abstract patterns, but more then simple doodles. I am inspired by celtic knots, and complex tribel patterns. It requires more concentration then simply doodling and involves both left and right brain activity.

One other method I find useful is what I would call mental exploration I guess one could consider it a from or meditation. I spend alot of time alone. So I have developed this exercise to entertain myself. I can spend hours, In my imaginary world. I love castles of many times, I simply start at the front gate, and imagine to my self what it looks like, are there guards, what are they wearing, are they armed etc... If you are into sports, perhap try mentally playing a sports match in your head for 10 -15 mins.

Hope this helps.

J. Stuart J.

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001)

(Edited by jstuartj on 06-24-2004 07:04)

Therapy... Meditation, and long walks in the woods. Those help me.

Making sure to get plenty of endorphins works for me....... This means intense exercise and/or plenty of sex.

Actually both of the above on a regular basis is an excellent combination. Guaranteed to keep stress to a minimum!

The important thing to remember is to distract your mind sufficiently so tha tyou are not dwelling on whatever is making you upset. Any activity is good, so long as you get a good mental workout or a good physical workout. That's why watching tv isn't helping - it doesn't take brains to watch tv these days... and certainly you don't need to move much ('cept to maybe kick up your feet!)

To eliminate some of the stressors in your life will help you immensely. Take a look at what is bothering you. Examine the issue carefully, and be brutally honest with yourself about your ability to affect change in the situation. If it is something you have absolutely no control over and you can't get out of the situation, the best thing to do is learn to accept that this is the way things are, and as you can't change it, do not devote internal resources to being angry and stressed about it - it's a waste of energy. If you have control over the situation, and can affect change, then make changes!

*YOU* are the only person who can live your life, and you have to make the best out of what you have to work with. Make a conscious decision not to waste energy unnecessarily by being angry when you have no control over the situation. And if I've ever learned anything in life, it's that positive thought is 100% more productive than negative thought is.

I've had some real problems in my own life over the last few years, and this is the best way I've figured out how to deal with them. If it's collectors calling and you don't have money - don't talk to them. You can't get blood from a turnip, and those folks certainly don't make you feel any better about it. I have caller ID, and if I don't recognize the number, I don't answer the phone. Haven't stressed about a collection call since. I just pay them as I can. I already know my credit history is a mess. Shit happens, and you deal with it as best you can.

Cheers - and good luck!

"You are the way you are, because you tell yourself you are that way" Don Juan Matos (The Teachings of Don Juan - Carlos Casteneda)

Besides walking, try going somewhere that is relaxing to you, somewhere that gives you something else to think about . . . museums, zoos, window shopping, etc. Things like drawing and meditation are good, but don't do them at home if possible; go to a park or a beach, somewhere that physically removes you from the stressors. And the telephone. I recently got a horse, and when I go out to see her and experience the smells, the clean air , and the silence. . . it just seems to wash everything else away.

Oh, and read til you're so sleepy that you don't just lie there and think. That just makes the nights AND the mornings that much worse.

Try not to worry about how other people will react. So, you come across as a complete butthole. So? They'll get over it. Sometimes you have to do that. It can be very cathartic.

Remember, don't sweat the little stuff . . . and it's ALL little stuff.

Dragonlady

I usually deal with stress by taking a picture of the person that is stressing me most or the object (usually a person) and doing one of three things to it:

Burn it (or several copies till I get a nice big bonfire)
tack it up on a target and throw knives at it.
tack it up on a target and shoot it with arrows.

i do not suggest doing these things yourself. The only reason I do it is because they are the only safe methods of calming myself down when stressed out about something or someone. If I am merely a little beyond Irritated I usually just break something that can be replaced easily before anyone finds out. The las time I failed to do one of these activities was in fourth grade when I picked up the kid (who was twice my size and muscular build) and choked him against the blackboard. Then again I took down a college kid in fifth in sixth started a sucessful fist fight with another sixth grader and in seventh I started a fist fight with my older cousin who ended up finishing it. Seven stitches above the eye. The stupid thing about the experiance was that the only thing hindsight taught me was that I should have used more adrenaline and should not have started the fight in the pool.

Definitely engage in activities that do not hurt anyone, including yourself.

Chucking sharp objects at a picture of someone is mostly harmless, but getting into fist fights is never a good idea.
(Though I realize that you are just providing examples of what happens when you don't relieve your stress.)

And I second what DragonLady says, what everyone else thinks is their problem, not yours. You have to do what's best for yourself, regardless of how other people take it. If that means being a butthole to people who consistently take advantage of you, well, that's their loss for not treating you better in the first place. Just say "no" to inordinant requests.

Waaaay ahead of ya, bodhi, DragonLady. That gravy train made it's last stop a while ago.

Thanks for all the suggestions, folks, they're all feasible and viable ways of clearing stress. Past couple of days has seen a lot of walking, lifting weights and blasting the crap out of a few pixels with the ol' X-Box. And, of course, hanging out with my girlfriend and sucking down the sweetest of nectars from the spouts of paradise itself: Guinness, baby. Okay, so I cheated and went the alcoholic route last night, but damned if it didn't make me feel better. At least it's not a crutch or anything...

But I am giving a lot of what you guys offered as far as assistance a shot, and it does seem to be working. So right on, thanks again. DragonLady, people have been telling me for years exactly what you're telling me now; that I need to focus on what would benefit myself at some point, rather than making myself sick with stress over other people, and (more importantly) freaking out when something like their abusing of my goodwill happens.

Mostly seems that I'm doing it as needed, sleeping well through the night and waking up in the morning has always been my 'reset button' of sorts.

Of course, sometimes all it takes is a long term plan and the drive to get there. Tired of sitting here complaining about things goin' on in the world... thinking I should maybe do something about it.

So... a little news. Well, not enough to warrant a completely new thread about it, though I feel cheesy posting twice at the end of this one.

Lost my job today. Woo hoo. All that stress and whatnot, now just a big weight right there on my shoulders.

Hate to say it, as crappy of a job as it was, I'll definately miss some of the people there. Had some good times, most bad, but some good.

*shrugs, sighs, slouches*

njuice42 - every ending is a new beginning. While it truly sucks that you lost your job, in the long run, it could be the best thing that's happened to you. Take the opportunity to figure out a new direction for your life and perhaps pursue a new career...

Think seriously about some goals for your life. What do you want to be doing in 5 years, 10? Make some plans to get there. And then set some short term goals that you can accomplish along the way - like finding a new job in under 6 weeks or something like that. Nothing more satisfying than setting a goal and making it happen.

Change is painful, but useful. No one likes to go through change, but we almost all are the better for it after it happens.

Chin up, try to keep a positive outlook and make a plan for yourself. A couple Guinness every now and then can be relaxing, but be sure you don't let it become a crutch for you...

For tomorrow is another day... (Scarlet O'Hara - Gone with the Wind...)

(Edited by bodhi23 on 07-02-2004 14:46)

I had a crappy job as an office manager (administrator of pencils and phones) which was made impossible by poor working practices, an ill-equipped office, and a tight budget wasted on vast amounts of paper (in turn, wasted).

My day often started badly with a long and sweaty journey on the Tube (with times fluctuating between 45 minutes and 2 hours) then got worse, only to be followed by the journey home.

To combat stress, I used to stack sacks of paper (ready for recycling, stuffed solid) up against the wall, then kick the absolute crap out of 'em.

It stopped me from going crazy (and toughened up my shins/elbows/knuckles nicely) but as the job I was in at the time became increasingly more stressful, my exercise packed the paper more densely.
I eventually found that I was packing more than twice as much paper into the sacks.

The guy who came to pick them up often needed help lifting them. He wasn't a big bloke, and the coarse sacks were huge.

Ultimately, in a way, my increasing stress added to another man's burden.

Funny, that...