Topic awaiting preservation: These are real incidents happened in 2004!

Unbelievable..

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:
Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them!!! in the police line, shouting, "Please come out and give yourself up."

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT!?!?!?
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "that's not what I said!".

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart". "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun... Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!


8. In Austin texas this summer, a man walked into a local gun and ammo shop to hold it up for the money in the till. On the way in, he passed a cop car, and several other cars. That should've been his first clue. As he entered, there were 5 customets, a police officer, and the clerk, all near the front of the store. Being the idiot that he was, the man decided to show them he meant business, so he pulled out his gun and fired to rounds into the ceiling. Almost by second nature, the clerk drew his .55 Desert Eage, the cop his Beretta 9mm, and the customers thier various weapons, and shot the man. The man had 22 entry wounds, from 7 different guns.


9. THE GRAND FINALE!!! Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard. NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE......
.....Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!!!

QUOTATION: "If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out."

The following mind-boggling attempt at a crime spree in Washington,USA, appeared to be the robber's first (and last), due to his lack of a previous record of violence, and his terminally stupid choices:

1. His target was H&J Leather & Firearms. A gun shop specializing in handguns.
2. The shop was full of customers - firearms customers.
3. To enter the shop, the robber had to step around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door.
4. A uniformed officer was standing at the counter, having coffee before work. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a hold-up, and fired a few wild shots from a .22 target pistol. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, the police officer with a 9mm Glock 17, the clerk with a .50 Desert Eagle, assisted by several customers who also drew their guns, several of whom also fired, The robber was pronounced dead
at the scene by Paramedics. Crime scene investigators located 47 expended cartridge cases in the shop. The subsequent autopsy revealed 23 gunshot wounds. Ballistics identified rounds from 7 different weapons. No one else was hurt in the exchange of fire.


I realize you have an open mind... I can feel the draft from here.

That's interesting, virtually exactly the same cases of terminal stupidity both in Austin & Washington

/D

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-

(Edited by DmS on 05-17-2005 22:29)

Yeah ain't the interweb great for spreading urban legends?

^Hehe...just got to love the dry humor in that...

darnnit, I really chuckled the *first time* I read that one about the hold up in the gun shop..

Kinda reminds me not to be so guilable... (sp?)

and on that note,


..a friend of mine worked in a DIY shop he had a customer ask for Tartan paint, hhmmmmm, I'll just check out back for you sir...

((did i mention it was April Fools day!))

Hey Kit, I went and checked the spelling for you on gullible and found out that its not even a word. Not in the dictionary at all....

Jason

I read a news story ages ago about a man who was standing atop a ladder. He over-extended his reach and steadied himself by placing one foot on the end of a broom. He lost his balance and fell in such a manner as to impale himself anally, critically rupturing his intestine.

He died in hospital, some time later...

I heard that one similar to that one, except he was climbing out of a deer stand, and the rifle went up his rectum. Again, dying later from excrement where it shouldn't be.

chainsaw accident kills wife...read on... (though when this story first came out I heard that she *was* decapitated... apparently not:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/3534320.stm

- you've gotta ask yourself, does this really happen that often? -

sorry for double post, but I just found this - and you have to see it to believe it... "Builder survives nailgun accident"

read on...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3685791.stm

This is a more recent entry for 2005

Vibrating Passion Pants

No Sig ?

(Edited by axleclarkeuk on 05-18-2005 17:42)

The death with chainsaw story is definately true cos that poor old man lives right near my mum.. the whole town was talkin about that one..

QUOTATION: "If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out."



(Edited by Xpirex on 05-24-2005 14:36)