Topic awaiting preservation: Laugh of the day :) (Page 1 of 1)

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.


2 . Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.


3 . Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.


4 . Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.


5 . Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.


6 . Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.


7 . Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.


8 . Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.


9 . Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.


10 . Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.


11 . Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.


1 2 . Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.


13 . Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.


1 4 . Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.


15 . Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.



/Dan

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{Proudly running OSX, Debian, WXP, W98, well not so proudly on the last 2...}-
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-
-{"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.?}-

Those are great!

I love 6 . Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

Brilliant
Do you happen to have a link? Where did you find these?

sorry, no link Got them in a mail from a friend.

Abdicate & Pokemon are my favourites
/Dan

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{Proudly running OSX, Debian, WXP, W98, well not so proudly on the last 2...}-
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-
-{"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.?}-

ok, did a google for "alternate meanings for common words" and found http://www.msgr.ca/msgr-3/stories%2002.htm which actually holds some more fun variations

this for example:
Dopeler effect (n.), The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
(Oh, so very very true this one is!)
/Dan

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{Proudly running OSX, Debian, WXP, W98, well not so proudly on the last 2...}-
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-
-{"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.?}-

i like 'Ignoranus' ...

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// you've given me a taste of your honey - i want the whole beehive //