fuck, what to do! — OZONE Asylum, home of the Mad Scientists

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fuck, what to do!

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Your Text: Insert Slimies » Insert UBB Code » Close Last Tag \| All Tags UBB Help	[quote] [b]cfb said:[/b] so hopefully i might ge some advice here, i'm in the middle of a mess, and excuse the teenage drama, bleh, nobody likes teenage drama. except i can't figure out what to do. [/quote] :cool:Well Hopefully I can help [Quote]back story: girl (A) started dating boy (S) two years ago; after they had been dating a while S starting doing drugs (meth, heroin, coke) and ended up going to rehab. S starts getting emotionally abusive, [/quote] :oMistake # 1 [Quote]but makes up for it each time with flowers, dinner, apologies, etcetera. S cheats on A, and blames her. [/Quote] :oMistake # 2 [Quote]In rehab S blames A for his drinking and drug problem, saying A isn't a very good girlfriend. BUT S and A "love" each other (about as much as teenagers can)[/quote] :cool:I call it Chemically Confused Love [quote] and S gets off drugs, replacing then with a strong emotional attachment to A. Fast-forward a year. I meet A, and S, A, and I all become good friends. A and S start fighting (as in, screaming fighting) but remain together, as she calls it, because she feels comfortable. [/quote] :o Mistake # 3 [quote]But she's dissolusioned. S's parent moves to Nevada and calls A's dad to see if S can move in with her (a month ago). But A doesn't want to,[/Quote] But what Happend to the love [quote] and isn't consulted, because she wants to get away from S. [/Quote] :confused:Her Opinion doesn't matter when a Abusive Boy Friend is asking to live in HER House...Um..Ok [Quote]He doesn't get this, and casually laughs off serious conversation about it.[/quote] :rolleyes:By My Definition... He Doesn't Love her...He Wants Her If He loved her... he Would Do What would make her Happy... But that?s just how I view it [Quote]Then A and I start seeing each other and fooling around, but decide not to have sex until she can work things over with S. [/quote] O boy... [Quote]She finally breaks it to him in a way he'll understand (I don't want to be with you anymore, at all, I want to move on) [/quote] :eek:The Dreaded Script Breakup (Script because its not them saying it [so to speak] Its just what everyone says... I e... It?s not you it?s me and so forth [Quote] and S is devastated, crying, harrassing her, etcetera. [/quote] Remember that Abuse... its coming back... Nice Guy... [Quote]She and I continue to see each other but S starts getting emotionally abusive and finally a bit physically abusive (not hitting her, but forceful). [/quote] :confused:And She hasn't told here Parents Because??? [Quote]She came over to my house in tears (two nights ago), which is also common when they fight. The problem is, she can't just leave him because now he lives with her and doens't have anywhere else to stay. [/quote] :mad:His Problem.. .Not Hers your Yours.... He wouldn?t be acting like that...well Shouldn?t be.. He is Just a Guest after all ( I know I could of worded this better) [quote]the other problem is, S is a really nice guy otherwise[/quote] :rolleyes:Everyone (mostly) is and can be a Nice guy [quote], who's obviously been hurt.[/quote] I think they have a Pill for that... or therapy [Quote] And I feel terrible about that [/quote] WHY?!?! [Quote], but on the other more selfish hand A and I want to develop a closer, more intimate relationaship (i hate the word dating) but can't because of S. [/Quote] ;)Well? There?s always Your House ;) [Quote] FUCK. Now I'm not sure why I used S and A instead of their names, paranoia I guess. But It's a sticky situation and I don't know how to resolve it. It's very stressful and I feel I can't back out (which I'd hate to do, but might help) because damage has already been done. I don't want to hurt S, and I don't want to hurt myself.[/quote] Careful [Quote] I mean, yeah. I had somewhat the same problem as S (drug addiction, but not so severe) so I sympathize, because he obviously replaced that with her. It took me a long time to finally have coping skills or maturity of any kind, but I haven't recieved any good advice (my friends say: forget about him) (her friends don't want to take sides) (his friends call the house to tell her what a horrible person she is). fro the records, I'm 17, she's 16, he's 18. [/quote] :rolleyes:18...Abusive? He could always Live in Prison (Harsh, But bit more Possible now) [Quote]I asked my Dad about it, but we don't get along and hardly ever talk, and his advice was pretty much crap. My counselor gave me better advice, which is that I should back out, but I don't really see how that's possible. [/quote] HA!... There?s a "Saying" My Mother tells me... Its ?Pick Your Battles"... You have already started and stair-ed (sp?) into the battle field? but ask your self... Is this really worth it.... Is this really worth the Possible Bad and Good that may come with this? [quote]actually to clarify the reason this means something to me also is because until now I haven't ever been able to develop a meaninful relationship with people, holding them at arms length or using them. So I feel selfish about that. (Edited by cfb on 03-18-2006 12:05) (Edited by cfb on 03-18-2006 12:07) [/quote] ----------------------------------------------- [quote] [b]cfb said:[/b] Web: Yeah, I've questioned my motives plenty of times; I know also that one of the reasons I wish it would work is because I'm emotionally insecure and masked it for two years with other addictions. I guess people are addictions too.[/quote] :rolleyes:Masking does nothing... but Hide yourself... what you should do is try and fix [quote]I guess if I can give a little segue about myself, because of "my motives:" I wasn't addicted to heavy drugs but after a bad accident I got addicted to painkillers (vicodin, oxycontin, morphine) and started filtering the acetometaphine out of them, mixing them with some alcohol and drinking it like energy drinks to normalize myself. Probably half a bottle of vicodin a day, which was expensive too. But after those stopped working one of my friends told me to try heroin, and I did, OD'ed and got sent to a drug counselor. Funnily enough even though I was doing that, and some other drugs and dirnking, I never lost my GPA or was ever seriously intellectually threatened during debate in class, who knows why. But at least I stopped (got caught, I Guess) before things got worse and I fucked up completely. [/quote] ... [quote]But that was to mask the fact that until two yeras ago I was totally emotionally insecure and antisocial. I got "forced" out of it by people and "normalized" but never learned to cope because of some emotional damage. I don't really want sympathy for it, but until my last relatioship I'd never actually experienced "love" beyond having sex.[/quote] It wasn't love? it was Lust [Quote]That got ripped apart because I was emotionally distant and she cheated on me, so I left and had to reevaluate my life. So maybe my motive is that I found someone I like ,and could really learn to love, and she feels the same.[/quote] This is possible...But be careful [quote]So in that sense it's selfish. I dunno, I don't have "demands" as a "boyfriend" or even as a friend, I'm generally a pretty easy-going person. a "people pleaser" I guess. He can't actually move out because that would entail dropping out of high school (he's a super-senior) and having to get a GEd, then not going to college (which he will in october). I mean, I feel bad for him.[/quote] :mad:WHY!!... He Made his Choices... If he?s going to live at HER house and not let her LIVE her life... Heh... that?s not love... that?s.. Spite.. that?s....Sad... [Quote[I can't figure out how to walk out though. Because I see these people every day for two hours in class, and after school (because of scheduling). I'd still be in contact.[/quote] So? [Quote] He can't really "mvoe out," and I couldn't even be a friend to her, or him, and we both need that. [/quote] Why? [Quote]God, I feel immature writing that. I'm not really sure if I'm being naive, but maybe that's due to age. I don't feel I'm naive.[/quote] Go ahead... say Goo goo... It makes no matter....We..well.. I?m not the Judge.. Just the Observer...;) [Quote]Bruce: Yeah, I guess it's hard because this is the first "meaningful" relationship I've ever developed. We bot htalk openly and aren't gaurded around each other. I've never actuallyt experienced that before. I don't know how to give it up, because when I think about it I start shaking like I need a cigarette or something. [/quote] They have a Pill for that too.. and Gum.. and a Patch.. [quote] Maybe it's an addiction? but that ties in with the "enmeshed" relationship. Because I don't want to be fucked up for life. And I don't think people should experience something like this at our age? It just seems ridiculous. But thank you all for the advice. I will think it over, it seems good and I respect the people here, especially given their age and life experience. (Edited by cfb on 03-19-2006 02:23) [/quote] ...Some of my remarks may seem Harsh... But they are very true.... and besides... This (usually) isn't the last girl... there are others... and in time they may appear... I?m Glad that you found some one... but at what risk... I shall Be Waiting for your... Reply...:cool: :D___---___---[b]INSANEdrive[/b]---___---___:D Note: Please Exsuse My Spamage with the Slimeys... I have a Reason for such (to tell another day) [sigrotate]----------------------------------------------------------------- Out of Insanity comes brilliance(Or was it the other way around?)\|__________________________________________ Some people say im mean, but I actually have the heart of a sweet, little girl...In a jar... on my desk...\|================================ I don't Suffer From Insanity .... I enjoy every moment\|+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ There Is A Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity... I Have Erased this line\| -----------___________---------__________------ "There is no surer sign of insanity than trying the same thing repeatedly expecting different results." -Albert Einstein \|****@**** "Some people think Inside the Box... Some people think Outside the Box... But I Prefer.. to think out of my Mind" -INSANEdrive\|[/sigrotate] Loading...
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