How many chances for a relationship to grow out of an affair? — OZONE Asylum, home of the Mad Scientists

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How many chances for a relationship to grow out of an affair?

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Your Text: Insert Slimies » Insert UBB Code » Close Last Tag \| All Tags UBB Help	I like White Hawk's logic that if someone is going to cheat on their "significant other" to be with you...then they are probably not going to be faithful to you either. Kudos for that one, WH. I could be old fashioned, but I am a big supporter of faithfulness, commitment, and trust. I'll give you two examples and then I'll shut up. A friend of mine was in karate when she was younger. She was sparring in international championships with a guy from the middle east/asia. Somewhere between Iraq and India. Anyway, he was in an arranged marriage from his birth. His culture is very into these arranged marriages, apparently. She commented that would be such a horrible thing, not being able to choose your wife. Not being able to do it for love but just because your parents wanted you to marry another family's daughter. He said something I thought was astonishing. He said that he had already made it up in his heart to love her. He also said that the divorce rate in his country was around 5%. And he was willing to bet that 5% wasn't from arranged marriages. The point I'm trying to make here is that he [i]decided[/i] to love her. It's under my impression and experience that love is a decision, while lust or desire isn't. So when someone "falls out of love" or stops being faithful, is it really love for another dictating their paths and emotions, or is it lust, desire, greed, etc? I've been off and on seeing a girl for the last year and a half. It has been a bumpy ride because I would have some thoughts about whether dating is good or not, etc. But I decided I loved her last year. And it is a hard thing to love her all the time. Sometimes I don't like her. Today I didn't really want to be around her much, but I still love her. Sometimes it is easy and sometimes it is hard, but I still love her through it all. Even when she is at her worst, trying to make me jealous, giving me the cold shoulder, whatever, I still do my best to love her. THAT is what commitment is about. If we attach love to emotions and happiness, then we are in for a rough ride which will lead us up and down and end up coming up empty. But if we attach our emotions and happiness to love, then we will begin to learn that this whole world isn't about us. We aren't the most important thing on this rock. Then we can start to give up our life for someone. Then we can start loving. True love is giving your life up for your friends. That's what my brother did. He gave his life up for me. He loved me. Even though I didn't deserve his sacrifice at all. If we can live like my brother, and love in our relationships like my brother did, then our world would be better off. And I bet the girl or guy will stick around longer if you love them. That was a bit of a ramble, but I had to get that off my chest. And Argo, don't beat yourself up about being the one used to cheat. I'm sure that guy has forgiven you, and if he hasn't then just ask him to. It could be hard, but if you didn't know that girl was using you to cheat, then it's not your fault. Perhaps he could be a good friend, don't know. "For reason is a property of God's...moreover, there is nothing He does not wish to be investigated and understood by reason." ~Tertullian [i]de paenitentia[/i] Carthaginian Historian 2nd century AD Loading...
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