On trying to maintain ones equilibrium — OZONE Asylum, home of the Mad Scientists

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On trying to maintain ones equilibrium

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Your Text: Insert Slimies » Insert UBB Code » Close Last Tag \| All Tags UBB Help	Heh. Well, I am an old fogey, so I prefer to use last names (with Mr/Mrs and I will use Sir/Ma'am when uncertain) when I am in a situation that I am not comfortable with using first names OR if I am attempting to keep something on a certain basis or level. I will, however, immediately switch to using first names, if the other signals (through use of first name, for example) this (unless I am using the more formal address to accomplish something). For example : "Good morning, Mr/Mrs. X, my name is Web Shaman. Nice to meet you." <- here I err on the side of caution. "Nice to meet you as well, Web. Please, take a seat." <- the other signals wanting to continue on a first name basis. At that point, I would switch to using first names, since the other has signaled that they wish to by using the first name. If I was not certain what the other's first name was, I would ask "Excuse me, but I didn't catch your first name?" If I was "dressing down" a subordinate, however, I would continue to use the last name here to establish the tone of the situation. "Mr. Anderson, I would like to go through the last 6 months of your employment with this company together." <- here I set a formal tone, one that is distanced. If I was in the subordinate's shoes, this would be an immediate and obvious clue, and I would be on my guard here. "Sure Web! How do things look?" <- attempt to maintain a friendly, loose level. In this example, the wrong tact to take. "Mr. Anderson, I do not think that you are taking this as seriously as you should. Perhaps you are not aware of your performance in the last 6 months. In any event, they are not up to standards." <- attempt rebuffed, and the main topic of the meeting has been reinforced. In a totally different situation, I might try to establish friendly and informal rapport with a first name greeting, for example : "Hey, Ted! How was the vacation?" "Oh, it was fine Web! We had a blast!" "Great to hear, Ted!" Ok, so those are more like "See Jane run" examples, but you get the point ;) Perhaps the lady in question was attempting this (although from what you are saying, she probably doesn't have the slightest inkling of how to do such a thing consciously, so it was probably an inconscious action on her part). [url=http://faq.ozoneasylum.com/397/]WebShaman[/url] \| [i]The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. - Sophocles[/i] [small](Edited by [url=http://www.ozoneasylum.com/user/925]WebShaman[/url] on 01-30-2009 17:27)[/small] Loading...
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