Those of you who are intunned to the spirit world, have you had an encounter(s) to share?
I have some activity going on in my house and thought maybe you can seriously share.
I know many of you believe when you die, thats it. So you will not understand or go there.
I believe our spirits are released from our physical bodies at death and do live on past the physical world. And maybe the ones I encounter in my home are either trapped for some reason or are living in another dimension and every now and then we tap into each others plane.???? I really don't know why they stay with us. Maybe they like us.
But I know for sure they can touch us because I have felt them and they have the capacity to reveal themselves if they want. Some are friendly. Some are not.
Last nite I heard one and it felt its touch on my arm.
I can sometimes hear/feel stuff too when I'm just about to fall asleep or already half sleeping, things like a movement or a loud 'click' and all kinds of weird sounds that I know aren't actually there. Nothing paranormal tho I'm sure. Something to do with my brain. But I won't waste your/my time here since you already know what I think of all this. So cheers!
When I was a baby, my parents became convinced I was haunted (or at least, my bedroom in two consecutive homes was). There were so many strange things going on, least of which was that no matter how well my father fastened the window, he always found it open again when he checked before going to bed. Things went missing around the home, and turned up in the strangest places. The dog refused to go near the top landing of the house, growling and whimpering if an attempt was made to force him. My father would regularly find that my sheets, earlier kicked off (a habit I had) were later tucked neatly back in. My father would often find me gurgling and giggling at something he couldn't see.
Some of these things could be explained; I was a strange child anyway, and within a couple of weeks from birth, I would stand against the rails of my cot (at the time, in my parent's room) and wake my father by staring at him. Perhaps I just amused myself by gurgling at the ceiling to wind him up. My parents used to argue all the time about where one of them moved something that had gone missing or moved somewhere odd - perhaps they really were just absent-mindedly moving things and forgetting where they put them. Maybe the dog was just as strange as I was.
But the window and the sheets are inexplicably odd, unless one assumes that somebody was breaking in regularly to mess with my parent's heads.
I remain pretty much open-minded about a lot of things, but I don't know whether to laugh or seethe when I see things like 'Most Haunted'. Programs like that only serve to enthrall the ignorant and easily lead. Sensational, misleading bollocks like that just encourages idiocy and superstition amongst the stupid majority. In fact, I'm cynical of most of the crap I hear about ghosts, even if I can't dismiss my parent's claims easily - my father's a pragmatic and intelligent man, even if my mother is given to flights of fancy.
On the flipside:
When my brother and I were just kids, my family lived in a building where virtually every resident complained frequently of nightmares and strange disturbances (other than the Notting Hill Carnival that used to pass under our windows every year). I had two very odd 'visions' in this place that (I suppose) are easily dismissed as the sleepy imaginings of a child, but which were more vivid than any dreams I've ever had. My parents shared a horrid 'nightmare' one night that the lights were dimmed (as though something had fallen across the lamp) and they were pinned to the bed while several shadowy figures examined them, whispering between themselves. My father fought to speak or sit up and eventually broke free, yelling loudly, whereupon they both 'awoke'.
Elsewhere, my father was working in a house alone one evening, when a woman came through the front hall and tromped up the stairs towards him. He assumed she was related to the people who had employed him, and went to greet her... whereupon she vanished.
In a house halfway up a mountain in Ireland, my father (and several other people) kept getting the feeling of a 'presence'. My father had a weird dream one night that he was in the same house, but with a lot of old furniture he'd never seen before. He was sat in the living room gasping for breath, and feeling as though something was crushing his chest. It was something that we shrugged off until a visitor's toddler came running in from the empty living room one day, crying that the old man in there had pinched him. We later learned that until we took the house, it had lain empty since the previous owner had died of a heart attack in the living room.
I worked as a waiter in a restaurant for a while, where I used to go in first thing every day to give the place a quick clean, and get everything set out before we opened for breakfast. Time and again, from the corner of my eye, I would catch somebody standind between the tables, or in the corner, and one time, even walking towards me from the kitchens. When I snapped my head round to look, there was nothing there. When I mentioned it to the owner, he laughed that others had told him the same thing.
I mentioned jokingly to a friend once that I thought her home haunted after several times hearing someone lightly 'cough', and feeling that there was somebody in the room with me all the time. She didn't laugh, as she apparently kept to herself the conviction that the house was indeed haunted.
If I trawl my memory, there are countless times that strange things have happened. Most of them, I've dismissed out of hand as trivial or easily explained. There are still a large number of events that are a simple and undeniable mystery.
I honestly don't want to believe that the only thing to do after death is hang around tormenting dogs and babies, and giving people nightmares. Ultimately, I suppose I don't really believe in ghosts, and there's an awful lot that can be attributed to hallucinations, subsonic vibrations, toxic air, and imagination. The cynic in me breaks out laughing at some of the crap people come out with, and if I weren't me, this very post would probably set me off...
...but there's a small part of me that refuses to dismiss all other possibilities.
I choose not to dwell on the immediately inexplicable. The only thing for sure is this; I fear nothing, ever, and certainly not death or what lies beyond it. Whatever it is, discovering it can wait till I'm done trying to live.
From: The Happy Hunting Grounds... Insane since: Mar 2001
posted 02-25-2009 16:18
There is some interesting research going on in the area of electromagnetic waves and how they can influence the brain.
Some initial findings are promising - they could explain such phenomena. It seems that some people are more sensitive to such as others, which could explain the differences that various individuals have under the same circumstances.
I suppose this would be along the lines of something similar to Migraine Auras, only induced by outside electromagnetic influences instead of internal ones.
Of course, it doesn't change the intensity nor validity of the experience that someone has had - it just provides a reasonable explanation of why and how it happened.
Myself, I have had two such experiences, both being quite life threatening. I am still not sure, to this day, if I had "died", if I would have truly died.
WebShaman | The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
My aunt once saw blood running down a wall from the attic. She screamed to beat the Devil. Turned out that the bricks where bleeding from recent rain. Not spooky exactly, but definitely jarring.
Another time we were home alone in the middle of the night. Voices were heard coming from upstairs. One of the girls advanced up the stairs with her crucifix while the other girl cited prayers right behind her. They marched up the stairs with dread dripping from their pores. Turns out someone snuck in through an upper window and was listening to music. Most definitely spooky, but explained.
Now, my old bedroom was haunted. Sometimes the door knob would rattle as if someone was trying to get in. I would jump to the door and fling it open only to find nobody there. The closet door was odd as well. Sometimes I would hear a single rap from the inside, and sometimes the door would creep open just a tad. No explaination at all for these occurrences. None of these things in that old bedroom spooked me in the slightest - I was more curious than anything.
I don't watch those spooky reality shows either.. seems they are fake. Could be maybe there are some real spooks every now and then.
Since there are others in the neighborhood who have the errie stuff going on we hooked up to check out the historical paperwork regarding who lived in our land before us.
Thinking this would let us know something of what kind of history the land had., what we did find was that the area we live in use to be indian territory. I cannot think of their tribe name, but they were settled in the area a long time.
Its something different when you hear or see something and another person sees or feels it too. So the occurances would not be any kind of hallucination, mind game, or visual brain influence, etc?. I just would really like to know how the have the power to touch and I feel the touch from wherever they are.
What about the electro particles are bodies inhabit? When we die, do they cease to exist.? How does the human electrical force die off? Our bodies give off electrical signals our auroas, right? It has to go somewhere.
quote:Myself, I have had two such experiences, both being quite life threatening. I am still not sure, to this day, if I had "died", if I would have truly died.
quote: WebShaman said: There is some interesting research going on in the area of electromagnetic waves and how they can influence the brain.
I think I will go with WebShaman on this one.....makes u wonder what if one was able to use 80% of there brain...hmmm....there is alot of stuff out there that we are yet to know that we dont know
WebShaman: Can u share the experiences-----> goes to get popcorn
From: there...no..there..... Insane since: May 2001
posted 02-27-2009 21:08
quote: jade said:
What about the electro particles are bodies inhabit? When we die, do they cease to exist.? How does the human electrical force die off? Our bodies give off electrical signals our auroas, right? It has to go somewhere.
Nothing ever ceases to exist. The breakdown gets smaller and smaller but it's there in one form or another. That's the conservation of mass.
I don't believe in the aura, but our "electricity" stops when our brain stops. Some Buddhists believe that this is what is transmitted into the ether when we pass on and is what happens during re-encarnation. But...I don't believe in that either ;-)
quote:WebShaman: Can u share the experiences-----> goes to get popcorn
I guess webshaman just can't be open about himself. I am kinda dissappointed. I thought he was a very open person who liked ot share.
But I respect that he doesn't want to go there. Nobody will think different of you if you tell your story(s). I leave myself wide open all the time.
Oh well...some other time I suppose.
makes u wonder what if one was able to use 80% of there brain
There was a good film made a while ago based (at least in part) on this premise. Forgot the title. I remember it had to do with the afterlife, though.
quote: jade said:
I guess webshaman just can't be open about himself. I am kinda dissappointed. I thought he was a very open person who liked ot share.
But I respect that he doesn't want to go there.
No need to get passive aggressive. Just give WS some time and he'll share.
From: The Happy Hunting Grounds... Insane since: Mar 2001
posted 03-02-2009 14:37
I have a busy life, with my 1 1/2 year old twins being sick at the moment, my 14 year old daughter in the middle of puberty, and the financial crisis impact on my job.
There are very good RL reasons why I have not got back to posting about my experiences yet (if you are intensely curious, then do a search of the Asylum - I posted about these experiences before).
When I get a breather, I will do so.
Until then, you will just have to wait.
WebShaman | The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
From: The Happy Hunting Grounds... Insane since: Mar 2001
posted 03-02-2009 17:08
I will not post my children's pics on the internet (pet peeve sort of thing - just consider myself paranoid ).
I have no idea under what my experiences would be titled for a search. Demon Bear might work, perhaps spirit bear (as it would be
considered a demon bear, perhaps that is what I called it at the time).
It might be that those old threads no longer exist.
WebShaman | The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
From: The Happy Hunting Grounds... Insane since: Mar 2001
posted 03-03-2009 16:08
Ok, I got some time.
My first experience goes way back - I was in grade school, I think. Funny how one cannot really remember something like that, but still have vivid memories of such an experience.
It was the end of the year, summer. I can remember the lazy ride in the schoolbus, warm and I remember being sleepy, the bus movement and the low murmer of the other kids swam about my head. We lived off the beaten path, and the bus did not go to my house, instead I had a patch of road to walk that was around 4 miles long, with a river (the Trinity river) on one side, and woods of the hills on the other. I can remember the bus stopping, and getting off, my feet falling into the routine of treading down the road.
It was like a dream, but not a dream. What I mean by this, is that everything was so real. Normally when I dream, I am aware that I am dreaming (and that leads to some great fun, because being aware of dreaming allows one to control the dream, so one can do just about anything that one wants to, in the dream. Flying is fun )
This was not a dream (meaning, I was not aware of dreaming). I remember the heat of the sun, it was a summer day. I can distinctly remember the dust motes in the rays of the sunlight beaming down, through the trees, lazily moving along in the almost breezeless day. The smell was particularly noticeable, in a way that one normally is not aware of it - the rich loam of the forest floor, the scents of plants.
I felt watched.
I turned, expecting to see something watching me, but I was not prepared for what I saw - it was like a bear, a big one. It was not a grizzly (I have never seen an actual grizzly in the wild, only on film or in the zoo - though I have seen many black bears in the wild). This was a brown bear, and it was very large, huge, to be honest. It stood on it's hind legs, towering up, and it was not looking at me like an animal would, but it's eyes held a fearsome and malign intelligence in them.
I was it's prey.
There enfolded a chase.
I can remember the heart pounding, my legs working like pistons as the overwhelming feeling of complete dread, terror so stark that one chokes on it. This is not like the type of fear one tastes going into a fight (like one where you know you are going to be seriously hurt - like against a gang of indian boys bent on hurting you, and the realization that it is truly going to happen). Nor was it like the taste of bile that comes when you first head into the enemy guns, with the whip, whip! of barely perceived bullet trails all around, explosions, the smell of blood and guts, along with the screams and cries.
This was complete, mind numbing horror, the precise knowledge that this thing, this gestalt was going to rend your self, your soul, spirit, call it what you will, and leave nothing behind. You would cease to exist, being totally consumed if it caught you.
The smell of the bear (I call it a demon bear, and there are legends of this thing among my people) was cloying and thick. I can remember looking back and clearly seeing the sun light filtering on the hair of the things shoulders as it ran behind me, trotting, enjoying the chase. Those eyes...those horrible eyes. The wet sound of the jowls smacking, the huffs of the breath of the thing coming partially through my hoarse, hard breathing...the leaden feel of my legs.
I realized I would have to turn and fight it, for I could not outrun it. It knew this, of course. I suspect that it could have caught me easily, had it truly been interested in doing so. But instead it chose to play with it's prey.
The prey turned and fought.
To this day, I do not know where the gun came from. I think this is a part of the white man in me. I remember the sudden weight and feel of it - comfortable, hard. It was definitely a pistol, a revolver, probably a .357 magnum. The barrel was long enough to be that. It was one of those moments, one of those clear moments, where everything moves slowly.
The slow movement of the barrel coming up, my thumb cocking back the hammer smoothly as I brought the sights up to bear, the demon thing's eyes slowly registering what I had in my hand, and the feeling of certain power, of absolute certainty of control being replaced by...something else. I think it was rage, because it let out a roar that caused shock waves, and the salivia flew out in a cone, I can still distinctly remember the feel of the heated drops on my face as the gun bucked in my hand, not once, not twice, but three times.
My eyes traced the bullets in slow trajectory (this was years before Matrix, btw, but it was a bit similar in effect, but without the conic shockwaves). The first bullet struck the thing in the nose and it stuck there!. The second ricocceted from the upper left fang and the third disappeared into the fur of it's chest, a little offcenter to my right just before the shoulder.
The gun was useless, so I threw it at the thing, my terror rising, as understanding came that I was not going to survive this.
That is when HE came.
I do not know where the warrior came from, for he sprang past me, with a loud shout brandishing a spear of wood with a stone tip. There were three feathers attached to the head, right before the stone point. I am not sure what bird they were from, but they were yellow-white, mostly, with dark brown - black fringe.
There was a loud noise as the two clashed, and the spear darted here and there, wounding the bear-thing, the warrior dancing and weaving, ducking deadly paw swipes and bites.
I must admit that I first stood there, as if rooted to the spot. Frozen.
A fierce glance in my direction from the warrior got my feet in motion, and I stumbled into movement, and the pace picked up and I ran. I ran like I have never run, and that was the last memory I have from this experience.
I remember coming home, down the dusty road (it was a dirt road that lead down from the pavement of the street that went by our property). Home never looked so good. I can remember the look on my mother's face, the instant alarm as she sensed something was wrong. Of course, I tried to tell her what was wrong, but it all came out wrong, jumbled up, my fear and excitement, pouring out between my tired breaths sounding most likely like babbling.
My mother just held me in her arms.
She doesn't remember this happening anymore.
I remember much later, that some hunters found a cave along a creek that ran under the road to the river not far from where this occurred. In it was hairs that were sent off to the Smithsonian. They could not be identified as any known living thing. We learned this through my Natural Science teacher, and it was in the news.
Of course, that area of Northern California is considered Bigfoot country, and the whole town was abuzz with the "bigfoot evidence".
I never had such an experience again.
I did, however, much later (as a teen) have another experience, one just as vivid.
I was at my girlfriends house, and as teenagers do, we had been having our fun. It was in the aftermath, that lazy half-sleep that steals over one. I can remember peering through one half-closed eye, why I was not sure. Something had dragged me from just existing in the moment. I felt...a presence. A malign presence. A malign, intelligent presence. As I opened both eyes, and started to raise my head, I saw the blankets at the foot of the bed [i]move[/b]. Like some sort of snake, it slithered towards me, quickly, and curled around my neck, and then grew taunt.
I know that I twisted and fought like a mad thing to get it off, and I was being choked, and could not breathe. My attempts to get free were pretty frantic, I guess, for they woke my girlfriend, and she must have seen my bulging eyes and straining limbs, and she grabbed onto the blankets as well, her face as terrified as mine.
We managed to get the blanket uncurled from my neck, enough so that I could draw breath, anyway. I hate how being choked makes you cough.
The blankets went dead, and the presence disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared.
My girlfriend at the time was very religious, and refused to speak about the incident.
Now, did these events really happen? I don't know. I do know that they are real memories, as real and valid as those I have of other things. It is most probable that there are explanations for what happened - my childhood at the time of the demon bear incident was far from a happy one. Perhaps a reaction to that, certainly plausible. That with my girlfriend is a bit harder to explain, however. But then, perhaps it had to do with electromagnetic waves in that house.
Whatever the reason, the memories remain.
WebShaman | The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
Too busy with some ideas in my head right now, can't read the full post, I'll do it later, just wanted to agree that flying in dreams IS fun. I do it quite often, also sometimes jump really high but then landing has always been kind of difficult for me. I haven't really mastered the awareness/lucidity thing. Sometimes I can do a little but I'm always left wondering whether I really had control over it or not. I'd like to do lots of cool things like walk through walls and all that but in dreams I never seem to remember.
about the bear story: could it be that it was a combination of three things
1) routine, which sometimes or in my case most times makes it difficult to tell one days memories from another's (I can't tell apart the memory of walking home yesterday from the memory of walking home on last thursday)
2) a dream that you had had recently
3) a phenomena similar to deja vu that instead of splitting one memory into 2 that seem offset in time, replaced the vague memory of you walking home with something that you had seen in a dream
Sorry, I should actually keep my distance from this thread. :/
With the bus story i dont think you really left the bus u must have dozed off. Note the statement ...(I call it a demon bear, and there are legends of this thing among my people)...so the bear was somethng u were frightened as a child....I have theories abt the warrior but I wount go there.
The second experience....that i could relate to...I once had something like a snake slithering on my neck while I was sleeping...i was so freaked out that i became numb...i later had issues sleeping 4 a few days....upto now i still have no idea what that was.....
btw: I too luv the flying part...havent mastered it...for instance taking off at will...but am getting there
From: The Happy Hunting Grounds... Insane since: Mar 2001
posted 03-04-2009 09:54
@ Arthurio - routine is certainly something that happens to us all, of course. However, in this case, I am very sure of when it happened. The memories of that experience are very intense and I have no problem sorting them out. I can even tell you what grade I was in at the time (4th). I can even remember the date 24th of June.
It was certainly not a dream that I have had recently - because I do not have those types of dreams since my childhood. There are very good reasons for this - I learned to control my dreams (because of horrible nightmares I had as a child) early on. You see, most children that cry out when they have nightmares get comforted - I got a fist and a beating for my troubles. I learned quickly not to cry out at all. So I had to find a way to overcome my nightmares, and eventually I learned how to become aware of my dreaming and control them.
It is definitely not a phenomena similar to deja vu. I do not have deja vu experiences.
@ Binary - certainly possible that I dozed off. Of course, I cannot remember having done so, which would be very unusual for me. As for the demon bear, I did not know of such a thing until later, after this experience (where I looked into it).
WebShaman | The keenest sorrow (and greatest truth) is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
- Sophocles
I'm not even going to begin to analyse that. Perhaps it should suffice to say that there are a great many things we have yet to fully explain... and we haven't even begun to try with many.
Lucid dreaming rocks! Seriously, when I was a kid, I could do it with ease. I frequently (almost nightly) gained 'awareness' within dreams by meditating before sleep.
Once upon a time, flying was easy. Nowadays, I don't remember my dreams as much. I now infrequently become lucid, and even when I do, flying has become trickier - 'launching' in particular can be very difficult, which leads me to jumping from high things in order to get airborne (which is itself, a risky and worrying prospect, even in a dream). Difficulties don't stop me, however, and even rarely achieving deliberate and lucid flight in a dream is a very rewarding experience, often followed by a good waking day.
On this note, I'm in the same boat as WebShaman - I know when I'm in a dream, and I know that certain experiences firmly engrained in memory were not solely the product of my own mind, conscious or not. The slightest hint of an unreal threat in a dream is an instant 'snap' to lucidity; through practice, this doesn't always result in waking, and I can remain in a lucid dream-state. The experiences I had were extremely threatening, very unreal, and remained outside of my immediate influence despite my apparently complete lucidity.
I should take up meditating again - I miss the frequency of my dreams.
I had an experience and I feel it had nothing to do with the spirits that live in my house?or maybe it does.
One night as I lay sleeping?in the middle of the night?I was awaken by a penetrating light. My eyes closed felt the light and when I opened them I could see my whole room was lit up?I though what is t his ?? I though someone was in the back yard flashing a big light in our bedroom so I proceeded to lift my head from the pillow to look out but before I could do so?I felt a calm peace and could not move. I felt very good to be in this state.. The best I could describeit is when they put you under laughing gas..I then felt myself move out of my body like another person but still felt like I was laying down. Then I felt a fastening on my neck. I then was shown a vision of a circular motion of green matter like going round and round. Don?t know how long this lasted. Then I could feel the fastening off my neck.. Then I came to? I jumped up off the bed looked around and saw nothing. I went to the mirror in our bedroom to see if anything like a mark was on my neck. I then woke up my husband next to me?He felt or saw nothing.
I thought that circular motion green vision looked like a galaxy?so I researched under green galaxy on the internet and this is what it l ooked like I saw but going round and round.
I had an OBE before but it was a really quick in/out cause it was spontaneous and it scared me so I did not allow it. This happened when I was called by name like whisper and then I went out.. Weird. So, the next one when it happened it feel too good to want to stop it so I just lay back and allowed it. Being a women of faith I don? t know how to explain it but I think with time I may understand why.
From: there...no..there..... Insane since: May 2001
posted 03-04-2009 23:59
quote: jade said:
I felt a calm peace and could not move.
this sounds like the "alien abduction" stories which are more than likely just Sleep Paralysis. The feeling of being held down, seeing "little grey men with large eyes", this situation is all linked to sleep paralysis. The mind can do some funky stuff when we sleep and we go into REM sleep. I've walked in my sleep before which was pretty strange. Everything looked real fuzzy and distorted.
As for the green galaxy...this could have been you still in REM sleep and looking at just about any light really. Just like the saying in the Matrix "Have you ever had a dream so real..."
It just seemed so real. I could see where it could be a dream..but really I don't think it was.
I don't believe in aliens out there trying experienments on us at all, etc.
The thing is I don't look for this kind of stuff. One thing I know after you have an OBE you
lose your fear of death. Its an experience I am glad I had.
quote:Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. In addition, the state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger. Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual due to the vividness of such hallucinations. The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful, or dream-like, objects may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision.
A sleep paralysis and a green galaxy. Sure beats sleep walking, only to find the carpet strangely damp in the coat closet at the end of the hall. Ahaaaa... Damm you Mister Whiskers!
Here's my tales of the weird...
I lost my brother to Cancer 18 years ago and had an experience I've rarely spoke of.
We had brought him home for his last days. It was Memorial Day weekend, and he had been in and out of consciousness all afternoon, was heavily drugged and having full body seizures. I was at his bedside attending some bite marks on his lip and tongue. When suddenly he went crystal clear. Like he had never been sick, it was one of those moments, where you just knew. I yelled for mother, "call dad now." luckily he was already on the way.
I was sitting on his bed talking. When suddenly, stare at something in the upper corner of his bedroom and would take his eye off it. Thinking it was another seizures, I though nothing of it. But he started to became increasingly agitated and frighted. Swing his fist in the air as if fighting off an attack, even hitting me in the jaw in the process.
"What is it?" I asked, "I don't know, it fuzzy, it looks kind of like a Lepercon. This was weirding me out. "It must be the drugs" I though. Then it got worse. He stare yelling at the empty space. Saying "No, no, I don't want to go" and "keep away" and acted as if someone was physically pulling him. I lost it at this point, I left the room and broke down.
Twenty minutes, I regained my composure and resume comforting my brother. He was still seeing, fighting and yelling at the so called "Lepercon." Not knowing what else to do, I decide to help. I swing wildly in th direction of the attacker yelling "go away." He calm down a little with my assistance almost as if I was effective.
"What do they want" I asked
"He wants me to go."
"Go where?" But by this time - I knew.
"Do you want to go." I asked.
"I don't know" and he seamed calmer.
I finally realized he, need or wanted our permission.
I don't recall what I said, but it was something like "It ok, you can go. Just wait for dad." my mother who was now at bedside, agreed with me. My dad arrived not 5 minutes later, my brother lingered for another hour or so before slowly passing away that afternoon.
Did he really see something? Was it real, was it the drugs or some kind of crazy physiological shut down process. The experience still haunts me to this day and bring shivers to my spine 18 years later. I just what to know where "Lepercon" came from Weird. Perhaps is some left over Scots/Irish heritage - racial memory?
It's was the worst day of my life, yet strangely my most valued.
As for the after life, I'll worry about the afterlife when I get there. Should I meet God there. I might just kick him in the "nuts."
Jstuartj.....though it was something you had not told anyone before...I am so glad to hear it. That is life sharing. It is something that in some illnesses, we have the will power to stay and fight death and then let go into death.
This story of jstuartjs reminds me of a distant relative named Becky that I want to share.
My cousin had 5 children. One of them, her first Becky was born with a some mental issues. In the beginning, Becky was mostly cared for by her grandparents because her mother chose a careless lifestyle at the time. Later my cousin married and had 4 more children and settled down. Becky was from a previous relationship so I guess she was just left in the hands of her grandparents but still visited her mother. My uncle died so it was just my aunt who would care for her.
As Becky grew she could not get past the mind state of a 12-14 year old. Thru the years she had boyfriends, but sad to say many just used her and she bore 5 children. All had to be given away. One of the boyfriends took her to Mexico and left her there. For 2+ years her family did not know her whereabouts. She did not communicate with them. One day she called them to say where she was. She had been in a prostitution house and they would not let her leave. I don't want to even think of what she went thru there. Her family sent her money to take a bus home and they met her. She was kinda sickly when she returned. She took up again with another boyfriend but this one seemed like he cared for her??? She started to get very sick and was hospitalized. They found out she had AIDS. Full Blown Aids. She got so very sick and there was no hope. Though I did not know her very well before, my family and I got involved in helping her with money, food and clothes in the many months she was sick. She was in and out of the hospital. With no insurance she was not given proper care. She had to take the bus in the heat just to go to the hospital as she had no transport. She would just lay on the benches. My sister found out and started to give her a ride to and from the clinic. When you went to visit her she wanted some coloring books to color. We became very attached to her. She had a childlike demeanor in the way she spoke and thought so our conversations were just simple and very caring. The time came near to her death and she was sent back to the hospital. My sister tried to get her in a Catholic hospital and got all the paper work she could do to fix it to whereas she did not have to pay for any care. My cousin, her mother was not a very good caregiver and could not deal with it. This was sad. If her mother would have tried to get the proper care, Becky would not have had to suffer as much as she did. At the hosptial, my sister wanted to be there to assist in anyway she could. Towards the end, during the day, when she was already breathing heavily she came to and was very calm and started to speak to my sister. She was looking as if she was Ok. She then told my sister in a very adult like manner how grateful and appreciative she was in her care giving. She really wanted to thank her for all she did. My sister would help clean her, change her diaper and bathe her. My sister was shocked in the way Becky was speaking. She was hearing something Becky would not think to say. It?s like she sounded very grown up. She felt it was someone else speaking for Becky. She then told my sister that her grandfather had been in the room since yesterday and he was standing at the foot of the bed watching and waiting for her. She said she knew she was dying and was ok with it. She said she was not afraid and to not feel bad about where she was going. That she would be ok. My sister felt she was being sent a message. She then died in that afternoon at 32 years of age.
Our lives were so heartfelt touched by Becky who was so forgotten in life. Yet, she made us realize how we have to love each other. And that there is something out there beyond life into death.
well reading all these experiences i m pretty amazed. i never had a personal encounter but when i hear about such events, i cant help wondering if this juts might be our imaginations playing tricks.
posted 02-24-2009 16:05
