Topic: Girlie #1 (Page 1 of 1) Pages that link to <a href="" title="Pages that link to Topic: Girlie #1 (Page 1 of 1)" rel="nofollow" >Topic: Girlie #1 <span class="small">(Page 1 of 1)</span>\

Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

Insane since: Aug 2000

IP logged posted posted 04-03-2022 03:01 Edit Quote

Putting this down here... because... you'll see.

When I was in my teens, I was very math and art oriented. I could do both equally well. All of my friends, save one, were of either school. I could draw, sculpt, and integrate trigonomic functions. I loved sculpting. And I loved ink + brush + charcoal. And I was an absolute freak for trig and geometry. Eventually, in my late 20's, I had settled mostly on my analytical side. Mostly math and not so much art.

And then Girlie #1 came along. As soon as she was old enough to hold a piece of chaulk (but not old enough to walk), we would draw on a little chaulk board every single day. She could write her name well before she said her first word (which was "daddy" much to momma's chagrin).

One thing that I had noticed during this time is that she used both hands equally well - she didn't favor either. Which didn't really surprise me as left-handedness runs in her momma's side of the family. Momma is a leftie of several on that side.

And I found myself wrestling with what to do. I very easily could have encouraged true ambi-dexterity in her. I could have had her drawing with both hands simulanteously (she had shown signs of being able to do this even at such a young age). But I had decided to let her find her own path instead of projecting my daughterly/fatherly desires onto her. She would be her own person and not what I wanted her to be. She went right.

In her teens, just as I was, she was good at both math and art. Her pattern recognition skills rivalled even mine. And yet she could draw in any art style presented before her.

She was at that point where she had to choose something. Which direction should I point her in? Which direction should I encourage?

Neither. She is her own person and makes her own decisions. I will not try to make her into what I want her to be, but help her be who she wants to be. I would have absolutely loved her to be ambi-dextrous, but I let her choose.

She chose art over math, and I don't mind one bit.

She did get her 4 year degree at Center for Creative Studies in Detroit awhile back. The last time that I talked at length with her, she is doing free-lance for Twitch streamers. Not her first choice as she loves doing story boarding, but it is in her field and she enjoys it.

Of course there are stories about how people became great because of how their parents pushed them. Mozart comes to mind, as do a wide variety of Asian/Jewish parent stories (not racist but that does seem to be a stereo-type).

Good parent for pushing?
Bad parent pushing?

Good parent for allowing?
Bad parent for allowing?

I wrestle with that a lot.

Anways, I recently helped her get her own domain. I had sent her some money, showed her the best deal on DreamHost, and boom. When I was going through this, it took me a few to see just how many suffixes had been added. For her, .art is perfect - and I might be picking up a .dev domain soon.

The content she has up so far is old Wix things. She actually has some amazing YouTube vids that are not on her new/old Wix site. Unfortunately, I can't find them on YT just yet. Her username on YT is a Chowder cartoon name with some numbers and I don't remember the numbers.

So, here is the domain name that currently fits her:

Slightly old content and not even close to what she has done.

Was I a good parent for letting her choose her own path? Was I a bad parent for not pushing her into what *I* wanted?
No clue, and that's why Philo.

Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: cell 3736
Insane since: Jul 2003

IP logged posted posted 04-07-2022 23:50 Edit Quote

Hey man talk to her more. Don't be pushy but just open up more about what you're thinking. That's the only advice I have that I know is right.
I wouldn't worry about the ambidexterity stuff. She's clearly talented and ambitious. Don't forget to remind her how proud you are.
I'm saying all this without knowing anything about your relationship so don't read too much into it. I'm just reflecting.
I didn't talk to my mother enough and now she's gone. Don't let your daughter feel that way when you're done.

Tyberius Prime
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Germany
Insane since: Sep 2001

IP logged posted posted 04-14-2022 08:19 Edit Quote

I think if you're in the position to even consider the question, you did well.

If I can teach mine (they're young... 5 and 2 now), serenity,
I will consider it a success.

Seems her domain has dropped of the net for now.

Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

Insane since: Aug 2000

IP logged posted posted 06-20-2022 14:43 Edit Quote

Thanks. I remember my mother going through this with me. Trying to figure out if she did a good job and what mistakes she had made. While I am confident, I do let the worry creep in sometimes. Again, thanks.

I told Girlie #1 to get the 3-year plan so she wouldn't have to worry about it for awhile. But she did 1-month. But I'm not going to press her as to why or what she did with the rest of the money. I trust she did what's right by her and what she wanted/needed. Kind of makes me sad because she has some really good stuff. Maybe someday I'll resurrect her work in my own little way.

I'm off to do some damage.

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