Topic awaiting preservation: What does YOUR email tell you? (Page 1 of 1)

Yes, what does your email tell you about yourself? Via my email, I now know that:

- My penis isn't large enough. Says 70% of women.
- I have a dead relative who owes me $500.
- I'm fat
- I need new cabinets
- My wireless phone is the source of my brain tumor (Do you have a brain tumor?)

What does YOUR email tell you about yourself?


(Yes, I'm bored out of my mind)

I am already a winner.
I can surf faster without pop ups.
Morgages and Diplomas are free and easy!!
I can get both breast and penis enlargments of up to two sizes larger.
Multiple kinds of missspelled viagra.

Then there is the stuff that I actually want to get.
Computer news.
3d modeling news letters.
And computer book offers.


I use hotmail, whast are you on?


__________________________
"Show me a sane person and I will cure him for you."-Carl Jung
Eagles may fly high, but beavers don't get sucked into get engines.

Other than ones already mentioned:
- high school chums might be trying to contact me
- I can get a credit card regarless of credit history
- my password has been activated

- I've got mail.

My email tells me

- I'm fat.
- I'm ugly.
- I am lonely therefore, I need to look at naked women on webcams.
- I can get crappy movies on DVD for 49 cents.
- I need a penis enlargment.
- I need Viagra.
- I need a house.
- I have a crappy credit rating.
- I need a better/bigger/faster computer.
- I need a job.
- I need a life.

Isn't life for me just PEACHY!? (oh, and BTW, I am a woman!)


The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH''

Wolfen's Sig Site

Yeah, Wolfen, I can see as how the penis enlargement wouldn't be too handy for ya'.

According to my public email, even after strenuous filtering:

- I can now get Porn for:
-- free
-- at a reduced cost
-- instantly if I click here, here, here, and here
-- in almost any flavor imaginable for, you guessed it, free

- I supposedly had a rather steamy chat session with debby6969@yahoo.com and disconnected rather suddenly so she is courteous enough to email and try to resume the session (after clicking 17 links)

- I can now have the bust of my dreams with a super secret formula that they're mass emailing which increase my cup size almost instantly*

- I, like the rest of you poor sods, have a small penis. But, for a small fee, I can add length as well as girth in a short time.


*Note: I am male

Hmmmmmm I think Wolfen and silence may be getting my email - if you could send it over that would be cool (and I told Debby never to contact me ).

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Heh, only 5 Big Richards in my post today. And it appears that I have a wife who is a porn star, must be because of my "small fella"
Only 15 today (the Artstream one IS useful) I find that Fridays and Mondays are usually the worst for SpamBombs, I think my record is about 35 in a day.
Look see

Taobaybee: Wow - one of those offers of jumbo cocks is so good they've stuttered when typing!!

I am curious about the 'Your wife a porn star?' - are they trying to tell you the missus is in the business or are they trying to get you to encourage her to sign up?

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

They're telling me that my boobs are apparently hanging low.



[This message has been edited by mahjqa (edited 07-25-2003).]

Nice timing hitting this thread... Was just about to see how my spam magnet account is doing.

I can...
-- stop mosquito bites forever
-- buy Viagra (in just about every possible way to spell 'viagra')
-- buy generic Viagra (again in just about every possible way to spell 'viagra')
-- grow younger (almost interesting enough subject to look at it... nah...)
-- get $500 for free to pay rent, phone bills, or medical expenses today
-- buy cheap health insurance
-- buy pirated software for $24.92
-- start my picture-perfect career in California
-- grow bigger breasts immediately
-- look at Bourban Street beauties
-- look at a picture she just took yesterday
-- get a free detergent sample
-- download free music
-- view "OneDay-F-WildHrrdC0rreFlics"
-- buy dvds cheap
-- look in for a free live orgy now
-- lose 81 pounds in one week
-- make $250,000 using someone elses money
-- get Men's Fitness and a megatuff dumbell set free
-- get an auto-loan in 2 minutes
-- get free membership to a new dating service
-- view pictures of singles in my area
-- watch teen porn queens
-- play a game of "match the face to the p***y"
-- watch cartoon porn
-- play "click the chick"
-- save thousands on legal services
-- get 250 free, full color business cards

... And that was just this afternoon...

I have one email address that I use (and another that I use to fill out online forms). The spam account gets close to 1000 pieces of junk mail each week. Or it did at least, over the last week I've tried clicking all the links I could to unsubscribe from as much as possible (until I got tired of trying to find that 2 point font they use for the link), and it's down to just under 100/day now.

Or perhaps I should look for a wife in the porn star biz LOL

Sorry, Emps, I'll put a .forward in my account right now.

Oh, and I never told anyone what debby said about the chihuahua and the chia pet with the lampshade helmet.

I own a company [computer company]
I'm fat
Seeking for somebody [Date]
Shipments [I won a cruise to somewhere]

Mine tells me my mom is a slut !!

according to my mail

- i AM a winner.....but...
- i'm quite the lil hefer but can have beautiful legs in 10 minutes...
- my chest does not stand up and slaute the sun like it used to...but it can again without surgery...
- there's 100's of men waiting for me just on the other side of my door...i just hafta pay to see em
- that i possibly have psoriasis or am depressed, bi-polar or manic...
- but i can buy drugs to cure those things very cheaply...
- Victoria and Robert A. have secrets they want to tell me...i'm not listening
- my lips are not movie quality...though it doesn't specify which ones
- even though all those things are wrong with me... someone wants to meet me!
- AND... someone wants me to be on their next reality tv show.

hmmm...

__________________________
Cell 1007::

hmmm...i must be special. i never get any junk mail, even though i sign up for stuff and fill out forms and all that. ive only gotten like 3 spam/junk emails the whole time ive had my hotmail account. ...very special...

emps:

quote:

---

Wow - one of those offers of jumbo cocks is so good they've stuttered when typing!!

---

Sometimes it is hard to type one handed.

My mail tells me that Spamassassin is an extremely good spam filter ......


Bug-free software only exisits in two places
A programmer's mind and a salesman's lips

My email tells that someone's looking for me.

---------------------------
I'll Procrastinate Tomorrow.

i got this in one week on my lycos account (yeah, i should check it more often ):

my email says:

---i qualify for:
-F_R-E-E DirecTV 3-Room Satellite System
-free legos
-home financing/loan
-an ebay tutorial
-a motorcycle
-free full color biz cards
-gift certificates
-college scholarships
-a PDA
-buying on the black market (where else get it so cheap?)
-free games
-5 books for $1
-A Free Digital Camera

-i need auto insurance
-i need a collection of Andrew Lloyd Webber
-i need Ultimate NASA Image Gallery
-i need coffee
-i need stock alerts
-i need a new car/truck/suv
-i need golf clubs
-i need a platinum card
-i need home repair manuals
-i need to quit smoking
-i need dish network with HBO
-i need digital camera-binoculars
-i need dvd copier
-i need ink cartridges
-i need a cell phone/wireless phone
-i possibly qualified to get part of $7 billion
-i am behind the times and need a better way to d/l music files
-my computer is in need of a checkup
-my pet sheds too much & needs insurance too!
-a little money will fix my bad drinking water
-i need more education/study online/to learn to do my own taxes
-i need an encyclopedia
-i need a career
-i need to meet people and am looking for love
-i am in debt and have bad credit
-i am sleepless
-i am out of shape and need exercise + equipment
-i'm an alcoholic, but there is help
-i'm stressed and need a vacation
-i need to consider life insurance
-my small penis needs viagra*
-i have bad skin which cosmetics will hide
-i have bad eyes, but they can be fixed
-movie star lips would look great on me
-my heartburn needs attention
-my hairy legs need special treatment

yet-
someone is trying to steal my identity!
----

*i am female
hmm, last week there were wine offers and gourmet schools in the list

Wolfen:

quote:

---

Sometimes it is hard to type one handed.

---

Well if one had a jumbo cock it might be difficult to leave it alone (if it did work I bet the spammers would find much more interesting things to so with their time ).

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Thankfully, I dont get much/any spam on my work email, so its currently telling me

- I need anti-virus software for MacOS X (which I do..)
- Illig Clothing does have 36" waist shorts
- My friend needs a job

.. however, if i poke over to hotmail

- Size does matter
- I'm fat
- I have $500 waiting for me
- I like to look at barnyard sex and barely legal teens
- Allready a winner
- I can consoldate my debt

Heh, just went through and "opted-out" of several of the more frequent ones, but got this on one

quote:

---

Hello,

Prime Internet is a web hosting company, and as such does not use bulk email, opt-in lists, or spam as a form of marketing. There is simply no list we can remove you from.

The spam that sent you here does not advertise a site hosted on our network, nor has it originated from one of our servers. It is clearly a case of an unethical spammer pirating the removal link (216.158.143.72/punish/unsubscribe.php) of one of our customers to make themselves appear legal and legitimate.

We have had our customer take down the page that this link points to and asked them to stop using this removal link when utilizing their own opt-in lists to advertise their websites.

To reiterate, who ever is sending out this spam is not affiliated with our company, or our customers company that previously controlled this IP, in any way.

If you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact me at spam@primenetwork.net

Thank you for your understanding,

Henry Williams
Prime Abuse Group

---

Prime Internet is a web hosting company, and as such does not use bulk email, opt-in lists, or spam as a form of marketing. There is simply no list we can remove you from.
I love it, haha.

[edit: Finish typing, THEN hit submit...

[This message has been edited by Lord_Fukutoku (edited 07-27-2003).]

Am I the only one who's email tells him to go on a

'moonlit cruise'

(as opposed to a sunlit cruise? or a cruise that's not inflammed by some kind of light?)

look what Bush got in his email

http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com/shockwave/enlargement.htm