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warjournal
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From:
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 06-18-2004 23:30

I can't believe that Girlie #2 turned 2 years old yesterday. Party this weekend.
Seems just like yesterday that I posted that we were on our way to the hospital.
(I even remember somebody poking fun at my post because I made it before we went to the hospital.)

The most memorable thing that night was my feet. I had been wearing my boots for almost 48 hours by the time I got the chance to take them off. Let's just say that I threw the socks away.

Okay, the birth of Girlie #2, aka Chasie Lane, was pretty memorable, too.

Since then, these past 2 years, Girlie #2 has turned into a monster. Girlie #1 is like a mellow cat, but Girlie #2 is a clutsy dog that knocks everything down with a wag of the tail. Man, talk about a world of difference between the two.

Then there is the potty training. Not going so well at all. But I guess she'll come around when she's ready.

And, since I'm a stay-at-home father, the Girl Scouts have been getting on my nerves. They have those damn commercials where they make father look like an idiot with very little involvement in daughter's education, while Momma gets all the credit for a smart daughter. Yanks my chain.

The neighbors no longer call me "that Mexican with a baby", but actually stop and chat with me.

What was I talking about? Yeah, our daughter is now 2 years old - and a monster.

Past few days she's been asking "Why?" to everything that I say. Yesterday I told her, "Don't ask me why for every little thing. Just stop it." She asked, of course, "Why?" I retorted with "What did I just say?" She quickly covered her mouth with her little hand.

I'll see about getting some pics up if I can find anything decent enough to show.

Now, if I remember correctly, Bugs and Dufty were in the same boat at around the same time give or take a few months.
What say you two?

Jeni
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: 8675309
Insane since: Jul 2000

posted posted 06-19-2004 12:50

Time does fly doesn't it. It does seem like yesterday. We were all discussing how the name sounded like (or was derived from, I can't remember) a porn star. Little Chasie Lane. Happy Birthday and kudos to you for keeping daddy on his toes. Make him earn that title!!! hehe

Skaarjj
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: :morF
Insane since: May 2000

posted posted 06-19-2004 12:54

Yes...I believe it was derived from, rather than just sounding like.


My, my, my; how time does fly

warjournal
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From:
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 06-19-2004 18:01

Yes, Chasie's name was derived directly from Chasey. Man, that was funny. I never did do a t-shirt that says Daddy's Little Pornstar. Might get arrested or something. My sense of humour can be a little too twisted for some folks to come to grips with.

Did a little digging and only found one recent that's decent enough. Still not the greatest, but here you go: chasie_goofy.jpg. We did get some new hardware just yesterday, but I haven't had time to mess around with it just yet. The party is tomorrow, so I should have something better by then.

Might even have a few of all of the heathens.

edit:
sig be gone... again
must fix that

(Edited by warjournal on 06-19-2004 18:02)

poi
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: France
Insane since: Jun 2002

posted posted 06-19-2004 18:58

she's cute. Since the party is tomorrow, do not hesitate to post a picture of her and you especially if you wear a weird costume.

hyperbole
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Madison, Indiana, USA
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 06-20-2004 22:04
quote:
the Girl Scouts have been getting on my nerves. They have those damn commercials where they make father look like an idiot with very little involvement in daughter's education, while Momma gets all the credit for a smart daughter.



I know what you you mean. It seems like more and more you see things telling men how incompetent they are and how women are responsible for all the progress in the world. Our twenty-one year old just got married in May and he and his fiancee asked my wife and me to attend a counseling session with them last February. At the session his fiancee mentioned that one of the things she liked about our son was his sense of equality between men and women and the counselor shouted out, "Way to go, Mom!!!" I was deeply insulted because my wife is the chauvinist in our family and I am the one who has worked very hard on teaching equality. Oh well.


Wj, it sounds like you have a two year old. Your post brings back lots of memories of our kids at two.

I just love your 'why' story.

I remember when our second oldest was two, she and her sister were in the bath and splashing water out of the tub. I started to tell them that they must act more responsibly and she interrupted me to say "I'm not responsible." She's twenty-seven and still says she's not responsible.

Thanks for the happy remembrances of children small and large.

-- not necessarily stoned... just beautiful.

warjournal
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From:
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 06-22-2004 17:33

Got up Sunday morning, the morning of her party, with ear infection like symptoms. If I move too fast, I get dizzy. Nothing like falling out of bed in the morning. I don't think it's a real ear infection, though. More like the result of physical and mental stress. When the kids get crazy, I get dizzy. When they leave me alone, I start feeling better.

Of course, we have the niece right now and I'm up to my neck in kids.

When I'm well enough to use PS and FTP, I do have a few photos to show.

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 06-22-2004 21:58
quote:
And, since I'm a stay-at-home father, the Girl Scouts have been getting on my nerves. They have those damn commercials where they make father look like an idiot with very little involvement in daughter's education, while Momma gets all the credit for a smart daughter. Yanks my chain.



I hear you, man. I not only know this, I have been living, eating, breathing, and sprending my time (10 years now) in a foreign country, trying to be a father for my child, fighting off the hordes of a g**-damned prejudiced Social system weighed so heavily in the woman's favor, that the mother of our child can pratically do anything she wants with our child, and I am almost powerless against it. I have spend literally 4 solid years in court, and have ran up astronomical bills that I am still paying off, just to secure my g**-damned rights just to see my daughter!!!!

Respect? Not a whisper of it...not a sound. Only my present wife is really aware of just what we have gone through, my daughter and I. Involvement? I involve myself in everything my daughter does...those precious weekends...I help her with her schoolwork, because my ex-wife is not in the slightest interested ("You don't need that - just marry a rich man") - makes me puke. Calls my nine-year old daughter ugly and fat, because my Ex-wife has to spend some of the money I pay her every month (250 Euros) on clothes for our child.

We will not talk about a proper diet. My ex-wife can't even cook. And because my Ex-wife "enjoys" spending that money I pay every month, to spend her time at the Solarium and to go shopping, my daughter is left alone, most of the day after school.

And because they have now changed the law regarding when a child can decide which parent to live with now three g**-damned times now, I have to wait until she is 14 now...instead of 9 (like it first was), and then 12 years of age, to the now 14.

So...yes, I hear you. I hear every man that fights the silent fight, without reward, or hope of reward, doing what is right for the sole sake of it.

You got my respect, believe me.

WebShaman | Asylum D & D | D & D Min Page

Fig
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: Houston, TX, USA
Insane since: Apr 2000

posted posted 06-22-2004 23:08

heh, adorable kid wj. i'm at the point where i'm starting to almost feel like i want kids...just looking for the lucky lady

WS, that's rough. good luck, you've got my prayers...

chris


KAIROSinteractive | tangent oriented

warjournal
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From:
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 06-23-2004 05:59

Damn. Sounds like we need a support group for fathers that get the short end of the stick. I could tell a few horror stories from MI, but I won't.

Although, there have been times when I have had a sense of humour about it. When I used to take Girlie #1 for walks into town with her stroller, women used to stop and open doors for us. Then I would roll my eyes and playfully rant about being an independant father and not needing any help.

Fight the good fight, damn it.

Mini-collage: chasie_bday.jpg.
Girlie #1 lounging in a lawn chair. Just last week she was wearing those over-alls, a red shirt, and blue hat - running around pretending to be Mario.
Then my mother making a sour-puss face. I get my Mexican from her.
Chasie with my mother-inlaw. Notice she is using her left hand.
Chasie on her coveted new trike.
Chasie and her new colouring set. By the end of Monday, all of the crayons were broke - she's just a brute. I'll tell you right now: she's going to be a linebacker.

Being a monster aside, her hair is getting annoying. Not quite long enough to put into a pony tail, but long enough to be a mess.

I am feeling better, but still exhausted.
Off to bed.
G'night, folks.

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 06-23-2004 06:49

Take care, WJ.

WebShaman | Asylum D & D | D & D Min Page

Moth
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: columbus, ohio, usa
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 06-23-2004 06:54

I hear you, WebShaman.

Though I don't have kids, many of my cousins do. One had his then wife disappear with their daughter. Apparently for another man.

My cousin spent years with the police trying to locate them. Nothing. Then one day out of the blue he receives a supeona charging with him with failure to provide child support...

... and the judge upheld it. He spent a year contesting it, trying to get custody, but receiving only visitation. Visitation that was almost useless since the ex-wife and daughter lived several states away and the ex-wife won't let the daughter out of state. He still ended up paying alimony and child support.

Every time she wants money she claims the child support check never arrived and my cousin is threatened with jail.

It's like men have no rights in these situations.


You are getting sleepy...sleepy. You will go to the North Wing....

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 06-23-2004 10:38

Well Moth - we have rights under the law as men - we just have to fight for them, sometimes long and hard (the stereotype against men is very hard to actually break, I have found out - we are viewed as second-rate educators of children, if at all - and when it comes to child support, unfortunately, we have the stereotype of the "dead-beat dad" to fight against - for good reason) .

I have fought (and am still fighting) the German system - and though I have won remarkable victories, they come at a steep price - at the cost of my daughter. The costs to myself are enormous, yes - but I was aware that it would be hard in the first place - and I accept that.

I didn't know how high the cost would be for my daughter. That is what makes the fight so hard - I have to balance my fighting tactics with what does as little harm to my daughter as possible. This means that the most effective types of tactics are not useful.

I prefer to use the truth, and massive documentation and witnesses who are willing to testify before a Court of Law. No violence. No harsh words. And payments that are documented. Document everything. I have literally TONS of documentation.

I have won every fight before a Judge with this technic. After 4 years of fighting in the German Courts, there are no Lawfirms now that will take on my Ex-Wife as a client, because I have beat them all in court, and they know that I will win again. Everything now gets settled outside of court - otherwise, my wife would get hit with a 5000 Euro fine (that has finally been put into place by the Judge after 4 years).

Seems like a pretty good situation, right? Wrong. Now comes the passive disobedience and aggression. A lot of it gets applied to my daughter from my Ex-Wife, in her attempts to hurt me. In the 4 years of fighting, my Ex has learned, as well, what can be done, and what cannot in the eyes of the Law. And my Ex takes no prisoners, and has no mercy where our child is concerned.

It has become so bad, that my daughter begs me to let her come and live with me. But the Law prevents this, until she is 14! That's a long 5 years from now.

The fight goes on.

WebShaman | Asylum D & D | D & D Min Page

bodhi23
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Greensboro, NC USA
Insane since: Jun 2002

posted posted 06-23-2004 16:06

WS - what a sad story. I sincerely hope that you win out in the end of it all, and that your daughter can recover from the trauma of her childhood. It's good that she has you for a dad.

My brother has been in a similar situation. His ex-wife was living with another man, had bought a house with him before her divorce from my brother was final. They have 2 sons together, who I haven't seen in probably close to 6 years (they must be huge by now!). My brother is not allowed his visiting rights because of the same reason as Moth's cousin - ex won't let them out of state (she's in Virginia, us in NC). She's been after him for child support, but he's had difficuly making a living because VA is one of 2 states where they can set your child support payments at more than 65% of your income - and jail you if you don't pay. You almost have to work 2 jobs to afford it. It's not that bro doesn't want to pay, they are his kids, he just hasn't been able to do so. On top of that, his ex makes tons of money running the family restaurant and doesn't really need the money for anything but principle anyway. So he hasn't seen his kids in 6 years either. Can't enter VA without threat of jail time due to missing back payments. *sigh* wicked wicked catch 22.

Many fathers are better parents than the mothers of children. You guys put up a good fight against a group of laws almost totally mother-centered. Props.

WJ - your Li'l Monster is very cute! At least trikes are almost indestructible...

docilebob
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: buttcrack of the midwest
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 06-23-2004 16:58

In fighting the good fight, it`s all too often the children that suffer. Protect them all you can.Been there, done that, wore the T-shirt out.
Have a few horror (whore) stories myself....but we`ll leave it at that. Being a (single) parent has boundless rewards, and endless stress. All worthwhile , of course. They`re so cute when they`re little. Then they grow up to be us.
Bright side of my story is I finally won, and got my daughter back when she was 11. Had my son from day one. Ah, the teen years. The hormones start flowing, the attitudes grow to epic proportions..it`s an experience like no other.
I understand why many mammals eat their young. Gotta love em.

Good luck with all your young-uns and never forget this is the only chance they get to grow up.
Love them like there is no tomorrow.

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 06-23-2004 20:24

Good on you, Bob. You have my respect, as well. Nice to hear that it turned out positive for you. That gives me hope for the future.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that it hits the children the hardest.

WebShaman | Asylum D & D | D & D Min Page

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