Preserved Topic: Things you would love to say at work ... (Page 1 of 1)

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of crap.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'II bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. I'II try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh ...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
22. And your crybaby whiny-ass opinion would be ...?
23. Do I look like a people person?
24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
25. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
31. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
32. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
33. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
35. Chaos, panic & disorder, my work here is done.
36. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
37. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

13 and 37 are my personal favorites.



Cell Number: 494

Hehe...that's a great list...I think it belongs in the Wiki...under Welcome to the Asylum...please read before proceeding...or maybe under Mad Scientists? I personally like #18 and #30...

Heh, brilliant. All I know is that I started laughing from number one and didn't stop until I got all the way through.




Cell 270

Yes well that is *ONE place I worked... you don't want to know about the others! <lol>

I think with my attitude around here at work I could get away with saying about 1/2 of these things

Later,
C:\


~Binary is best~

Damn... Now I'm wishing I had a job to say these at.

10. Ahhhh ...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
I ues that one when I worked for an engineering company all the time .

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
Hah! I know a couple of people that really really deserve this one.

23. Do I look like a people person?
Reminds me of my "Aint Social" t-shirt... heh.

That is a *really* good list. Better than average to be sure. Thanks! I'm off to use some of those right now!

. . : slicePuzzle

I have always wanted to say this to a teacher: Your just fucking full of shit, ya know that, right?

Great list BeeKay


________________
counterfeitbacon

This is an all time favourite of mine, unfortunatley I 'don't get to use it too much since I'm swedinsh and there is no way of translating it:

"It's a question of mind over matter, I don't mind because you don't matter!"

/Dan

{cell 260}
-{ a vibration is a movement that doesn't know which way to go }-

quote:

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13 and 37 are my personal favorites.

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Hehe, did you say that on purpose

[This message has been edited by My_mind_is_Blank (edited 06-07-2002).]

I think this begs a list of things you'll never hear at work like:

Hey you do a great job, lets discuss a payrise
or
This company would'nt be where it is today if you hadn't joined us


~We're not here for long, we're here for fun~

Here's one I use every day:

Q: What's wrong with my computer?
A: Operator Headspace. OUt of intelligence error.

My_mind_is_Blank: huh?

Mr. Max I warned you about posting with the 6 crazy eye slimies, now I must blow you up.

As a High-Shool-Student, I would enjoy using the following:

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'II try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

10. Ahhhh ...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. (this one supports me)

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. (changing office with school)

27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

30. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

34. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? (I like this one a lot)

35. Chaos, panic & disorder, my work here is done.

37. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Thanks for the laugh!

quote:

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Suho1004:
My_mind_is_Blank: huh?

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He said he likes 13 and 37, which, when put together, makes 1337!
Oh well, I guess you just need to get up really early in the morning to find that amusing

[This message has been edited by My_mind_is_Blank (edited 06-08-2002).]

When ever a teacher said to me "What did I just say?" to find out if I was listening aswell as doodling. I usually say back "Why ? weren't you listening either ??". It works a charm, the smart ones laugh a little, the others just write it off as sheer cheek, ah well. Though my last day in school was two weeks ago , hooorrraay