Preserved Topic: My dad wants to divorce my mom. (Page 1 of 1)

That's what I heard from my mom when she was talking with her friend over the phone, unfortunately they can't becuase it's against the law of the Republic of the Philippines where they got married.
They've been fighting ever since..., I don't wanna talk about it.
Now my mom's sleeping at my room, I have to sleep in the mattress down floor, right after my bed. (Sick)

Yikes. I'm sorry to hear this. Honestly, I don't really know what to say. It must be very hard for you to deal with.

I do encourage you to talk to someone else about it - maybe a school guidance counsellor or something. A forum like this can only help so much.

In the meantime, feel free to talk about it with us.

I always pray to God that this wouldn't happen to my family...They've been fighting for the money...My dad always talk about it, money all day long...God how I wish to have a family not like this.

One word of advice - make it clear to both of them right away that they can't put you in the middle. It's *their* problem and they have to deal with it - they can't make you be the 'go-between'.

[Emp edit: moving this over to P&S as this isn't the right forum]

[This message has been edited by Emperor (edited 04-09-2003).]

I am very sorry to hear that your dad wants to divorce your mom.

I know, but they can't be divorced as I said before it's against the churches in the Philippines. There's no law that states that Divorce is allowed in that country.

Wow, Yannah, sorry to hear that. A legal divorce may be forbidden, but a divorce of the heart can be just as damaging (and possibly worse). I would recommend taking DL's advice, too.

*sigh*

Very sorry to hear that...as always, the children are the big losers...

I wish I had some comforting words, that could carry you through these hard times...but sadly, there are none. I feel for you.

When love dies, it hurts. I just hope that you haven't given up on love, because of what you are going through.

Chin up, you'll get through this.

Yannah i hope you will not have to choose between them, that would be very hard.
I think about you and i do hope you get through it. If you ever need to talk you can reach my on icq (the number is in my profile).I might not be able to solve your problems but i will listen too you if you need to get something off your chest. Also here is some advice for you. Make sure you have some outlet for your feelings, this could be painting, writing, other forms off art or even shouting from the local hill or some kind off sport.
When you have a good outlet you will not be overthrown by your feeling, thus better able to handle your situation.
You could use PS as an outlet really believe me when i say:
"Bad Feelings make Good Art."


"Freedom of speech is by no means freedom to insult others" from the Razorart goodbye letter.

my sympathies and empathies. I have no good advice, sorry, I'll feel like crap abut it with you though.

Jason

Oh dear, that does indeed suck.

I've been through a similar thing (My dad had an affair with my best friends mom when I was 13, then he left with her) and honestly, I can't think of anything to say that would help beyond what's already been said.

Take slime's advice, talk to someone like a school counciler or the school nurse about it. All I really wish to remember about my own experience in this kind of situation was that I felt horribly alone and I didn't know what to do or who to talk to.

quote:

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Yannah i hope you will not have to choose between them, that would be very hard

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I already have...I've chosen to be with my mom if that happens.

I'm very sorry to hear this, Yannah. Wella and I are thinking and praying for you and your family. We know it's very hard but please try to stay strong during this time. If you ever need to talk about it some more, you know we are all here to listen

. . : slicePuzzle

wow... I never post here, but I've been in this place before...

quote:

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"These are the times that try men's souls." --Thomas Paine

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My parents got divorced when I was younger.. it's still a little tough... All I can say is to forge your own path, let them do what they're going to do and separate it from your life... dive into your development as a person and let them deal this for themselves.

thanks guys, I know you'll be there for me...I'll try.

erm...sorry not me...
this only concerns to your parents...you dont have nothing to do with it...as in...you will always have their love...so....stop that!
let them live their lives...find solutions to their problems....
*sigh*
-_-

*Bleargh* Get lost!!!

aren't you supposed to be helping me not letting me down.

yannah - i'm afraid that you will never have the whole board on your side, as we are all individuals, who make our own decisions. Also, you cannot dictate what response you want from the members - some will say what you want to hear, others will post immature and insensitive tripe.

all you have to do is decide whether or not you really care about what the immature, insensitive poster has to say, and whether you will pay more attention to those that offer compassion, or those that offer ignorance.

Ashite - learn empathy. If you have ever been in any situation like this, you would realise that a family unit is exactly that - a unit. You cannot change the relationship of the parents, and expect the children's lives to continue unaffected.

ok...I'm sorry, for I was really in the situation where my brain's dead...I wasn't really thinking of the fact that everyone has their own right to say what they want to say.

Aside from that, while many people here can empathize and sympathize with you on this issue, we're not *supposed* to do anything one way or the other in regard to your personal life.

Any kindness that you get is given from the goodness of people's hearts here, and is not in any way an obligation.

So, when people say helpful things, be happy. When people say pointless things, ignore them.

yes sir.

~salutes~

__________________________________________
"Art has to be forgotten. Beauty must be realized."
Piet Mondriaan

*marches along* left-left-left-right-left(over again)

reitsma: erm...empathy? u r kidding right?
there's no such thing in my vocabulary...oh wait! i have no vocabulary, juz a few meaningless terms.
im so sorry but i dont know what a unit is, my parents had never been together, not that i cared, but even if it did, its their problem, not mine. I always had what i wanted: their love, so....
"You cannot change the relationship of the parents, and expect the children's lives to continue unaffected" can be, but "show must go on", what do u want them to do? Cry allday? They soon will forget... they are children, remember? Nowadays, in my opinion, a unit does not make any sense to me, so....
Well, i guess most of u wont agree, and i can understand that.
Once again, i dont know what a unit is so i cant understand part of all this...
im sorry

*Bleargh* Get lost!!!

oooh, good timing. glad to see you dragging up 5 month old posts just to try to argue about it....

Well DL how rude. I think its ok if Ashite wants to put his 2cents five months later. Whats the harm? I for one am interested in what Ashite wants to post. You go ahead Ashite.

Yes, let's all kick it up a notch. To controversy! And thread-dragging!

Hmm, we're gonna need help... Rameses!

Ashite:

quote:

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They soon will forget... they are children, remember?

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Are you kidding? For traumatic events like a parents divorce, you'd be surprised how long a child's memory is...

Oh, gee, you're right jade, it's *good* to drag up old posts for the sole sake of being rude and argumentative.

Gee, it sure was rude of *me* to say otherwise...

"Gee" twice in one post. Are you trying to be nicer for my benefit DL?
Please revert to self. I don't think I could stand you trying to tip toe thru the tulips.

Statistics prove that Yannah will survive.....how many of u have been brought up by divorced parents??



**pssst welcome back Suho**

[This message has been edited by binary (edited 09-16-2003).]

oh yes, I was being extra nice, just for you jade...

***pssst, binary... Suho's post was from April!***

Ok for the record DL, I knew you were being your sarcastic self. I was just pickin on u. But thanks for giving me the definition of sarcasm.

I have to agree with Skaarjj, that divorce leaves scars on some children into adulthood. My parents are still together after 40yrs, but they had some turbulent together years. Not real serious stuff, but at the time it seemed so. I was in fear lots of times growing up, thinking my family was going to separate. So I can little imagine how children of divorcing parents feel. Especially if the parents are immature or vindictive in hurting each other thru the children. What trauma.



[This message has been edited by jade (edited 09-16-2003).]

Ty moon.

whatever the children's past was it'll be always with them when they grow up. Skaarjj was right. And who knows these children might also lead the life that their parents had.
So we have to be careful with that.
My parents are fine now, I don't want to discuss this anymore.
And please close this down now. Hide it please, or just delete it if you may/want.

My Detention Room

Yeah yeah, five months had passed....so what???
(I have a busy live)
Oh...and im not trying to argue, im juz...pff forget it.

Btw... Skaarjj: i have a very very low memory.


*Bleargh* Get lost!!!

The poster has demanded we remove all his contributions, less he takes legal action.
We have done so.
Now Tyberius Prime expects him to start complaining that we removed his 'free speech' since this message will replace all of his posts, past and future.
Don't follow his example - seek real life help first.