Topic awaiting preservation: Heard any good jokes lately? (Page 2 of 2)

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "Look! Here come the elephants over the hill!"

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill wearing dark glasses?
A: Nothing - he didn't recognize them...

Q: What does an 80-year-old woman taste like?
A: Depends...

Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: Why did the other squirrel fall out of the tree?
A: Peer pressure.

Q: What do you call an HIV+ person on a skateboard?
A: Rolaids...

(Hmm - sorry, a couple of those are pretty bad...)

Five reasons why it sucks to be an egg:
1. You only get laid once.
2. You only get eaten once.
3. It takes you 7 minutes to get hard.
4. You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
5. The only person who'll sit on your face is your mother.


- Do you race cars?
- Yes.
- So you're a racist then?

Q. Where does an general keep his armies?
A. In his sleevies.


Q. Why is the Male Wombat such a unfulfilling lover?
A. According National Geographic, Wombats "..eats bushes and leaves"


And some for the techies:

Q. Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
A. Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Q. Why do all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
A. Because it is below C level.

Friend just posted this one up on the guildboards :


Four macho guys go on a fishing expedition. To save a little money, they rent a small cabin that has only two bedrooms. Bill sleeps with Charlie the first night and he come to breakfast next morning with his hair a mess, and his eyes all bloodshot.

The other two ask, "What happened to you?"

Bill says, "That Charlie, he snores so loud, I was kept awake watching him all night. I can't do that another night so one of you has got to do it!"

Since Charlie snores so loudly, no one else wants to room with him, but they finally agree to take turns.

The next night is Oscar's turn. In the morning, the same thing - hair all standing up, eyes all blood shot.
Oscar declares, "Man, that Charlie shakes the roof. And he sleeps so hard, I couldn't wake him!

"I watched him all night."

The third night is Steve's turn. The next morning Steve comes to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. The other two can't believe it!

"What happened?" they ask, "How on earth did you sleep with all that racket?"

Steve says, "Well, as we got ready for bed, I went and tucked Charlie into bed and kissed him good night. Then he watched ME all night long."

_____________________
le coeur du feu
Qui sème le vent récolte la tempête!

How do you get a blonde to marry you?

Tell her she's pregnant!