Topic awaiting preservation: TOOL fans retreat!

i remember that the asylum had some fans of this band, this is why i am posting it here.
we got some pretty fuggin news from:
http://www.toolband.com/index_frames.html and http://toolshed.down.net

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REMEMBER, DON?T KILL THE MESSENGER

You know the old saying, ?no news is good news?, well? that was the case as far as the recording process was going for the new Tool CD, but now things may have changed a bit. Yesterday, when I went to the studio to give Maynard a bottle of wine (a 1992 Maya) for winning the bet that I had with him involving his new film ?Sleeping Dogs Lie? (I lost by default, not being able to attend the Sedona screening), not only wasn?t Maynard there, but, in what seems to be a case of enantiodromia (something becoming its opposite) if ever there was one (!), I was told the reason why he wasn?t there. I wish this post was dated April 1, but, unfortunately, it isn?t. Like a doctor giving a patient a straight, honest answer to a medical diagnosis, without sugar-coating the truth, here?s exactly what I was told: ?Maynard has found Jesus.? This will come as a complete shock to most (but not all) of you, as it did to me. In fact, it just seemed like another MJK prank until I talked to the one person who I believe would know if all this was legit or not. After nearly an hour on the phone with this person, the answer I received was that Maynard has indeed ?found Jesus? and that, for this reason, he?s abandoned the project for the time being, if not entirely. I don?t know what the f**k is in the water these days, but hopefully a black jelly belly will turn up in that golden bowl? that?s all I can think to say at this point. Before leaving the studio, I watched as Danny made arrangements to go play some golf, while Adam and Justin kept working on a particular song. So, in case you missed it (those who don?t read the whole post), here?s today's news: Maynard has found Jesus?

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retreat?

Right, let's make him pope and be done with it...solves two problems.


Oh boy...

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Support Justice for Pat Richard

If he has found Jesus could he let the rest of us know where because I'd like to take a peek

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JKMabry said:

retreat?

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Its a German thing (actually that sounds like a "Don't mention the War" moment when it wasn't - and now I mentioned the War!!! Crumbs I don't think I can win and I'd better stop here before I offend everyone).

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Emperor:

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If he has found Jesus could he let the rest of us know where because I'd like to take a peek

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where shall we take the tickets to stay in line ?

I would love to see Peter's face right now....

Hehe...found Jesus.

Pardon me, but I think I am going to go laugh my ass off, over there in the corner.

Anyone have a bit of blue crayon?

~Tosses some blue stuff to WebShaman...remember that he has no crayons at all... only an odd collection of pills~

OH D****

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Support Justice for Pat Richard

Peter's still in the "this-had-better-be-a-fucking-joke" phase.

I found Jesus once...turns out he was in my cocuh the whole time.


With some cheetos, and a buck forty three.

We bought pez..it was fun. I ended up putting him back. He liked being with the lost sheep.

Oooohhh...

DG said Pez...

*wonders off into a day-dream cloud of yesterdays gone past*

I guess I'll have to make due with eMotive for a while...



Take your time, hurry up; the choice is yours just don't be late (Kurt Cobain)

I am with DG on his sentiments.

I just think we need to find whoever it is who is converting all of these rock stars and beat the shit out of them. When it was Korn I was fine with but don't fuck with Tool.

Dan @ Code Town

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don't fuck with Tool.

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^^^^^what he said!

Actually, it's the poor sods themselves. Remember when Madonna went Dolce & Kabbalah, or the giant Scientology nuthouse? The folks in the spotlights just have this habit of acting stupid. Being out of touch with the real world seems to do that to a person.

(Yes, I'm a Christian myself, but I think those sudden "conversions" have been for all the wrong reasons.)

I think the more important question is, who fucking cares?

(About some inconsequential guy "finding Jesus" that is).

Does this mean no more latex breasts on stage for MJK.

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synax said:

I think the more important question is, who fucking cares?

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i do :P since this influences the album of my very favourite band imagine the frontman of the deftones finds jesus...

interesting. You think he will quit making music though? I could see him breakin from the band... but i doubt he will stop rockin out.... if it is true, it will probably be to a different tune... huh.

Mtv News reports the same.



(Edited by Schitzoboy on 04-06-2005 04:40)

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imagine the frontman of the deftones finds jesus...

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Well, I doubt it would have much of an impact on the band since:

a) I think Chino already believes there was a Jesus
b) I doubt any of the band members care about each other's beliefs
c) The Deftones haven't sounded like the Deftones since Around the Fur anway...

I never followed Tool, but from what I gather, I guess they were all die-hard Atheists?

At least he can still make music, unlike Dimebag... Now that was a tragedy worth getting upset about.

this means you didnt enjoy white pony? i love this record especially =)

so are being christian and making decent music mutually exclusive? (tho i understand some things, topics, etc. would naturally change depending on the original subject matter)

chris


KAIROSinteractive | tangent oriented

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Fig said:

so are being christian and making decent music mutually exclusive?

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I don't think born again christians would approve of MJK's on stage antics, his past philosophy, or Tool's lyrics for that matter. I personally don't care, I'll continue to enjoy their past shit such as Lateralus.

edit:
ya think the bible thumping pharmacists who deprive women of their right to a prescription would approve of this?

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.

(Edited by ZaddyDog on 04-07-2005 01:09)

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edit:
ya think the bible thumping pharmacists who deprive women of their right to a prescription would approve of this?

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I honestly think such people would not approve of rock music period.

Now as far as christians in general, nah. they wouldent approve of their past music... but if he is saved, i dont think he will continue to play to his past toon... and he could come up with some great music.

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eyezaer said:

and he could come up with some great music.

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Like this:

Funny three ring circus sideshow of Silly people

Here in this hopeful flowery temple we call LA
The only way to fix it is to love it all away.
Any heavenly time. Any glorious day.

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so are being christian and making decent music mutually exclusive?

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It's not a matter of whether a christian can make decent music (obviosuly there are many examples of great musicians who are also christian. "christian music" is another story altogether )

It's a matter of Tool and "finding jesus" being mutually exclusive things.

Does it matter? For anyone who wants to hear Tool continue making music, yes of course it does. In the grand scheme of things, of course it does not.

brand new stuff from the tool website:

07 Apr 05
"Christians, huh? So forgive me." - Bill Hicks

Good news, April fools fans. The writing and recording is back under way.
When approached for comment on his recent encounter with the Son of God,
Maynard said, "That guy's a punk!"
As it turns out, Maynard was out "location scouting" near the Fourth Street
bridge in downtown Los Angeles when he "found Jesus."
"Turns out he was here the whole time, and not that difficult to find if you
know where to look," Maynard reported. Apparently Jesus offered him the
position of campaign manager for his new line of "Holier Than Thou"
sparkling holy water, which Maynard of course accepted. What wasn't obvious
was that this guy is a total drunk. It's an occupational hazard. Every time
our Lord goes to get a glass of water, it transforms into a generic grocery
store Merlot. Because the alcoholic is the Son of God and an all-knowing
being, he knew of Maynard's extensive interest in collecting wine. So he
went to work trying to get his lips on it. Maynard caught J.C. in his cellar
transforming his precious wine collection into urine, then pissing it into
the empty "sparkling holy water" bottles for the eventual sale to all those
people who bought, read, and embraced "The Celestine Prophesy." Tragic.
"Truth be told," Maynard confessed, "I wasn't feeling top notch when I found
him. The evening prior to the day in question I had over-indulged in a
series of bad Molotov shrimp cocktails with a side of Makers Mark and twin
strippers. So after an entire night of G.I. Blowouts, hot/cold sweats, and
blurred vision, it's very possible that the guy I met wasn't even Jesus at
all. For all I know, it was Willem Dafoe."

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