Topic awaiting preservation: Does age matter (in relationships)?

What do you think?

Does not matter.

Although, the 'too young' angle might be a bit tricky. A lot of people equate age with maturity, so we have laws about how old a person must be before he/she can make decisions about his/her own sexual activity. A few of these laws are kind of strange.

Errr...physical age, or mental?

Strictly speaking, I agree with wj's assessment.

Problem is, how does one gauge and measure mental age?

Fazit : we can't, not reliably. Thus, we do have a number of laws which govern the behavoir of young people, especially along the lines of relationships and sexual activity.

Ask Hugh Heffner

I will say that is usually does matter but it does not have to.

I believe the number of relationships that are not hindered by age are few.

I believe it's a similar situation with multi-cultural and multi-racial relationships.

So how much older is she

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No, I don't think it matters at all for adults. I find maturity level and emotional intelligence the better indicators of compatibility than age. Though maybe if the couple plans on having children, a 25 year age difference might be a bit more difficult. I figure if both people are happy and suited for each other, that's all that matters. In the case of younger people, I don't know. It depends entirely on the individuals.

--Amerasu--

There is, of course, no reason that age would make a relationship impossible to sustain or enjoy. Just consider that along with an age difference comes differences in behavior and opinions, which themselves can cause trouble (if not well handled) down the line.

And always stay within the law.

among adults, i think it all depends at what point that individual ACTUALLY becomes an adult. legally we call someone an adult at age 18, but i think more realistically that occurs somewhere between about 18-25 depending on the individual.

chris


KAIROSinteractive | tangent oriented

Much of what is dealt with, when it comes to age/love, is a mere discussion.

No amount of discussion will ever change,.........................Happen-Stance!

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" The world today is such a wicked thing "

I agree overall, but.. well, it's a bit of a complicated story.
In my case, she is younger, by eight years.
In the case of her elder sister, who happens to be an ex girlfriend, HE is 20 years older.

What struck me is that I've been frequenting a lot of girls of my age, who had a weak personality and a total
lack of emotional maturity, and I've met this girl, 19 years old (gosh), who is plain amazing and beats them all.

So I was pretty convinced that age was only a number, but, as I said, her elder sister lives with a 42 years old guy,
which sounds... uncommon.

Fig, I wouldn't make such a distinctive classification, I've known girls who, by the age of 28, weren't anywhere near to mature.
One of them has bothered me to death with her permanent questionning, "do you like me, am I cute? am I this, am I that..."

I think that when it comes to couple, having a good relationship to oneself makes
for a good relationship to the other.

It was a 50-50 chance I would have guessed right

Anyway, an 8 year difference does not strike me as a major problem. But it completely depends on the individuals involved and so there's no way for us to know with any specificity.

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My girlfriend is 8 years older than me.

Most people think she is younger than she is. Many people think I am older than I am (except for people selling alcohol - they always seem to think I am far younger than I am....).

So I guess it works out about right

Does age matter? That depends entirely upon the cicumstances.

Does it necessarily matter? No.

Can it? Yes.

Not to cast aspersions or anything of that nature, but in such a circumstance you have to at least ask if your concern on this issue is caused by either ego or jealousy? Perfectly natural for that to be the case, of course, but such things go a long way to skew your perspective as well.

FWIW

Also FWIW, my mother is 8 years older than my father and my wife, Wella, is 4 years older than me. In both cases, age has not been an issue at all.

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(Edited by Bugimus on 10-05-2005 23:36)

quote:

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_Mauro said:
Fig, I wouldn't make such a distinctive classification, I've known girls who, by the age of 28, weren't anywhere near to mature.

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I wouldnt make one either, that was much more of general observation than a rule

chris


KAIROSinteractive | tangent oriented

For the most part, age should not and really does not matter. If some 35 year old wants to marry or 'fall in love' with a 25 year old or a 45 year old there isn't much people can to about it and there really isn't a problem with it. A differance in age amongst people in a relationship is not wrong. However, personally, I find that there would be something strange about the relationship if you go to extremes with the age differance, say an eighteen year old and a eighty five year old. That's just plain wierd. Their life but it's wierd, as far as I am concerned. As long as both participants are of an age considered to be a consenting adult.

"God may have mad the world, but it's held together by duct tape"-quote found on internet

In the case you just mention, Sangreal, I would not really have a problem *except* if they planned on having children. I think that would be a problem. Because it would virtually guarantee that the children would spend much of their formative years *without* a mother or father. I think that would be a terribly narcissistic thing to do to a child.

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(Edited by Bugimus on 10-13-2005 15:39)

Age does not matter to those who truly care for each other. It's the issues everyone around them have with the age difference that is the problem. That has been my experience anyway. If you can reconcile your issues with each other and not have to worry about other having issues with your relationship, then no worries mate. If you're self-conscious about what other people think... it'll eat at you and taint what is/could be a good thing. Be solid in your understanding of yourself and your feelings and don't let people turn you to places you need not go. My experience was with a girl 7 years younger than I. I really have to admire her family for trusting me enough to date her without any undo strain on the relationship. I hope things go well for you and remember... don't let social perceptions interfere with the reality of what you know. You've been trained to think age difference matters. Your emotions and your mind are telling you different or you wouldn't be here looking for guidance.

IMO You've already made your choice and are looking for reassurance. Go with your gut. We can tell you all kinds of things but it comes down to whether or not you trust yourself. LISTEN to yourself and you will know what you want.

GD

So... since it was brought here in the first place....

What's going on with this?

GD