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Wolfen
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Minnesota
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 10-07-2005 02:56

Subject: Hospital Chart Bloopers


Hospital Chart Bloopers

Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, ####### and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

Now I am REALLY scared of going to the hospital....

redroy
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: 1393
Insane since: Dec 2003

posted posted 10-07-2005 04:16

Hilarious

Blaise
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: London
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 10-07-2005 10:59

That's funny, very funny

WebShaman
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 10-07-2005 11:07
quote:
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.



That one doesn't belong in the list...it is perfectly normal, in the case of a Rectal-Cranium inversion!

Maruman
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: under your bed
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 10-07-2005 14:21

WebShaman, i dont wanna know how you know that

heh

Bugimus
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: New California
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 10-07-2005 14:55



: . . DHTML Slice Puzzle : . . .

LaSun
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: deep inside my head
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 10-07-2005 15:01

now i know why i hang out here so much...

--------------------------------------------
// i've got soul but i'm not a soldier//

WebShaman
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 10-07-2005 15:21

Mauman, come down to the Basement...I'll show you!

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