Patient File No. 28902, patient is called "Paradox"

I'm sorry, but there isn't anything written here. You aren't reading this. Yes. In fact, you, whatever sort of psychotic person that you happen to be, are imagining this. All of this is completely a hallucination. So stop reading. YOU'RE JUST WASTING YOUR TIME. Don't you have a life or something? Oh well, guess not. Are you going to stop reading yet? Please? Okay, I said please. So now you have to stop reading. Wait, nevermind, actually I DIDN'T say please. Because this paragraph isn't even real. INSANE PERSON, WHAT REASON COULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO READ THIS FAR. Ehem. If you continue to read this nonexestant sentence, you will go head splodey. FEAR THE DUCT TAPE! Now go away. Now. Go. Away. Grr. Still reading? All right then. Fine. Keep reading. This post DOES in fact exist, and you should keep reading it to the end and beyond because it is not the slightest bit boring. So, keep reading. It's not like this is a waste of time or anything. What? Still reading? Well, I guess that reverse psychology doesn't work so well after all. Back to my original strategy. This paragraph-that-isn't-really-a-paragraph-because-it-does-not-exist-and-is-really-only-a-figment-of-your-messed-up-insane-little-imagination will end soon. Really soon. You know why? Cuz I'm bored. And I am running out of reasons why you should stop reading this stupid thing. Really. This post is ending. Soon. Momentarily. Instantaneously.

Well. After reading that I am positive that you will have absolutely no desire to ever contact me. So, end of Contact Details. Bye. AND THIS STILL DOES NOT EXIST.

~ Order of the Duct Tape Paradox ~