I think I'm about to commit a #5 here, but mine are:
1. People who call, and despite knowing that I always return calls immediately if I miss them, leave a long and pointless phone message (that I invariably listen to after I've called them back because I was quicker to return the call than my voicemail was to alert me of a new message).
Solution: make your voicemail greeting incredibly long - about five or six minutes should do it. If they really must leave a message, make them work for it.
2. People who stand in the way of train doors or shove their way aboard while people are attempting to deboard.
Solution: elbows!
3. Ill-mannered, ignorant, and downright nasty little b'stards who think that they can talk to me like crap just because they're the client.
Solution: tell them you take exception to their attitude and have yourself removed politely from the exclusive venue they've hired, then write a statement in response to their unreasonable complaint - be sure to refuse ever to work for the aforementioned client again, and be thankful for your employer's full support in the matter.
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Unfortunately, number three is precisely what happened to me a week or so ago. Up until that day, I'd been having a good start to the year. Thanks to the uptight, unprofessional, and intimidating young woman who ruined my day for me, my IBS has returned with a vengeance, and it took me at least a couple of days to bring my stress down to normal background levels. I was lucky to have the confidence and support of anyone else who mattered in the issue. The long and the short of it is that I don't consider any job worth discarding one's dignity.
Don't let the b'stards get you down, CPrompt! As for your #3, I think I'd be a deathtrap for tail-gaters on the road, as I wouldn't be able to resist the urge to slam on my anchors! Personal safety be damned! Let them try to defend a rear-ender when I arrive at the solicitors in a wheelchair!
WS, I definitely share your opinion about line-cutting, and have often bodily displaced people who forget themselves. One of these days, it'll turn nasty, I'm sure...
1. People who keep stopping right in front of you while fighting your way through busy streets, e.g. Oxford St
2. People sitting behind you on a bus or train who sneeze and sniff all the way through the trip
3. The sandwich van not showing up at work, which means either a) starving - the usual option b) having to go down the pub - too expensive c) an hour long walk to the nearest petrol sation - no time to enjoy the sandwich
4. Way too many options to even do the simplest thing
5. Mobile phones - way too many annoying things about them
6. Vouchers and sales freaks - who do it for the sake of it, not because the money's tight
7. People who think their personal life is worth telling for hours
8. ... and the palm goes - this is a special UK one - to tax moaners, governement moaners, foreigner moaners and nhs moaners who firmly think the grass is greener on the other side
oh boy. this could take a while, so I'll just stick with my most immedaite annoyance at the moment:
your boss (the one wwo put you in charge, you know, because you are good at what you do...) who constantly comes around to stick their nose in, not accomplishing any actual quality control, but disrupting the flow of everything, and forcing you to explain why you're doing things the way that you are (and why your people are doing this this way and 'what's he doing?' and so on...) the way you've *been* doing them, the way that works, the way that has gotten us through with no major bumps all along...
Argh.
Time to build a report of time spent being disrupted and annoyed by the boss...?
(and another to report time spent griping about it on the internet...? )
quote:
... the piano-organist ? I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed ? they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she dances, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist ?
I don't think she'd be missed ? I'm sure she'd not he missed!
And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist ? I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life ?
They'd none of 'em be missed ? they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as ? What d'ye call him ? Thing'em-bob, and likewise ? Never-mind,
And 'St? 'st? 'st? and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who ?
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed ? they'd none of 'em be missed!
From "The Mikado" by Sir William S. Gilbert and Sir Arthur Sullivan
Well, apart from the likes of weather forcasters on the TV who feel like apologising for the rain or the storms, as if thet had some say in the matter. We'd all die without the bloody rain stop apologising for it. Numpties.
Then there are the News presenters themselves, who obviously seem to think they are major celebrities and moral adjudicators, shaking their heads with various degrees of disdain in practiced pieces to camera. Just give me the news straight please without the theatrics.
Also, what's with all the labels inside clothing? Most times they are far too big, sewn in sensitive places like the back of your neck, where the sharp nylon they are either made with and/or sewn into the garment with scratches you all day long. The information on these things also seems to be written in some kind of hieroglyphics.
Ooh, you just made me think of something else. I'm always cynical, if slightly amused, by delay announcements at rail stations in London. It isn't the bemusing excuses like "the wrong type of leaves on the line", or "delayed due to a delay"; no, my quarrel is with the words "I am sorry for the delay" as recited by an automated voice.
The public address apparently doesn't represent any organisation or group, as it deliberately avoids using "we" in preference of "I", which means that a computer holding a set of pre-recorded audio samples is personally apologising, and therefore legally accepting liability (in the strictest sense), for an inconvenience.
Is this not a truly absurd concept?
Tao: Re: clothing labels. So spot on! They make them out of nylon sandpaper, then stitch them with polyester razorwire...
Heh yeah White Hawk, railway PA systems on platforms and trains, too true, I can rarely understand them, they're on the list.
twItch^ I totally agree, lists are on the list too
I pull all the lables out of my clothes as soon as I can, I sometimes wait till I get home and try to cut them out but usually they are sewn in so tight, almost woven into the seams.
While we are on the clothes theme why are all the seams on the inside of clothes right next to the skin? Surely they should be on the outside so that the stiching around the raised fabric does not chafe. In fact whenever I wear Tshirts or vests I always turn them inside out. There, I've said it.
People letting their dogs crap in the street and leaving it there.
People letting their cats out overnight to kill innocent wild creatures.
People who let their kids out at night and who do not have any idea what they get up to.
People who constantly sniff in public librarys and get uptight when you suggest they blow their nose.
GAAAAAAH! I almost agree with almost everything. My iPod died not long ago, and since then I've been noticing all the annoying sounds people make on busses and trains, eg. The annoying person behind me this morning who kept tapped her book incessantly for the ENTIRE fourty five minute bus ride. Then you get the people who push and pull on the back of your chair on the bus, the bastards that wind up having to sit next to you on the train and either keep knocking you with their elbows cos they insist on doing crosswords, spread their legs as far apart as they will go (entering your personal space) or just plain wheeze or HUM (honestly, who hums in public?).
I'm actually a real bitch about slow people in busy areas now, I get right up close to their back and hover over them until they move the hell out of my way.
And I totally agree with White Hawk's number 2, the people who get in the way of others getting off trains.
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I dislike the number 7, simply because everyone thinks it's so lucky. And I like 13 because everyone thinks it's unlucky. We Australians always support the underdog
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-people who say "thank you" when I open a door for them.
-making at least one person smile every day.
-the rain. Inversely, I dislike grey days that don't rain.
-waking late at least one day out of every week.
-getting home early from work once in a while.
-a cool beer at the end of a hot day.
-a pint of bitter with a roast beef dinner.
-the taste/smell of certain combustible herbs... *cough*
-my regular Sunday fry-up.
-getting caught up in a good book.
-tearing movie science/physics/continuity to shreds.
-laughing uproariously at awfully bad (ie- Hollywood) thriller/horror-movies.
-talking to strangers.
-keeping my head while under fire.
-getting the highest score in a round of Battlefield 2142.
-getting a pat on the head for a job well done.
-getting revenge in subtle little ways against people who deserve to have their day ruined.
-trying almost anything at least once.
-realising that I like a lot more things than I can easily list, and getting the impression that I'm a far mroe positive person that my cynical side would have me believe...
That list could go on, and on, and on. Perhaps it's simply easier to list things one hates.
Ha ha, I love the fact you have beer twice there, in different formats.
Hmmm... I like all the "selfish" things in life, such as watching cartoons, eating KFC, getting to sleep in on weekends (although not the headaches I get from oversleeping)...
I also like my job. It's exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life
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Working 6h on a sunday evening to write some coding guidelines and have people bitch and moan about it because they can't even ( or refuse to ) make the difference between a CAN, SHOULD or MUST.
Good lord I haven't done any actual work today. Dealing with smarty pants who can't read is so time consumming.
I always thought the Capital City was Canberra... The Capital City of Australia at least. Poor little old Perth is barely enough to be capital of anything
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