Topic awaiting preservation: Where'd the cheese go? (I don't know!)

The truly demented will recognize the obscure reference in that title.

Anyway, I just made myself a grilled cheese -- 2, actually -- with a pack of Kraft American slices I picked up a couple days ago. And the wierdest thing -- they wouldn't melt!

That's right. I thought I screwed the first sandwich up somehow, seeing as I had the heat turned up a little too high and cooked it too quickly, and too darkly (scrape, scrape), but I grilled the second one just right and the cheese still didn't melt! It easily peeled away from the bread. In fact, the two slices didn't even melt to each other! A few seconds in the microwave should have solved the problem, but no luck!

This is the same cheese I've been using since I was a child! Why would it refuse to melt now?

A silly thing to get upset over, I know, but I love my grilled-cheese sandwiches. I grew up on them. I'll die eating them (which is probably more true than I realize). But not if they aren't melty!

I would return the package to the grocer and demand a refund. American cheese is simply no good if it won't melt. Then I'd write a letter to Kraft and tell them to stop milking the rubber cows!

Seriously though... american cheese that won't melt?? That sounds scary. What was the date on the package? Was it the same consistency of the other packages you have gotten? I sympathize with you - grilled cheese sandwiches are awesome. ('specially with lots of butter!)

Yo b*tch where the mother f*ckin Cheese be at!

oh man, its that america cheese. I can't stand the stuff personally.

You must go with white rye bread and muenster cheese sliced at a deli. Oh, and hot tomato soup to dip it in... Oh, and if you have it, a spoon full of cottage cheese in the soup is the proverbial Bomb!

I was about to get into bed and now I am all hungry....

Interesting in that as soon as the home power was restored today, the wife made grilled cheese sandwiches with Kraft American cheese. Melted just fine (except that little flap that was hanging out....).

Quite yummy.

Ask for a Mozzarella sticks in the nearest McDonald's.

Nothing like un-meltable cheese to put life into perspective.

Hmm... I've never had any problems with my cheese...


viol: Mozzarella sticks at McDonald's? Holy schamoly, in which state (or country) can I get some of that?

I think I see the problem here...

quote:

---

This is the same cheese I've been using since I was a child!

---

Its 'best before date' would have been...

Hey Wes -

you DID take the plastic wrap off, right?



[This message has been edited by Pugzly (edited 08-16-2003).]

Th only cheese you get around here that doesn't melt is the 'low fat' kind...It stays the same shape and just burns.

It also has a very low moisture content...I call it dried rubber...becuase that's what it is....

only cheese I never could get to melt was feta.

alas, at times, late at night, when there's no one around but me and the kiddies coming back from their discos.... I get a craving... and would probably kill for one
of those big blocks of velveta cheese they sell in the states...

How could I have forgotten:

"Cheese Gromit?"

Try French cheeses

*Warning to American folks : the following content is agressive and may not be read until the age of 21*

Okay, take a French cheese. It looks beautiful, your mouth foams of envy just looking at it and you wonder how it'll taste. Confident in the quality of French cheeses, you put it somewhere for the cheese to grow old - thus becoming a lot more tasty, and a delicious moment to come. But, being a stupid French, you don't put it in the refrigerator and forget the weather is really hot. And, being a person who forgets everything, you also forget to open it till a week has gone. During a warm and nice evening, the idea of the tasty cheese pops up in your mind ! You open your refrigerator, and suddenly realize you've put it somewhere else. Big mistake. You finally find where you put it. Still confident, you open its box... To immediatly close it - you don't want to be spotted by American satellites for a chimic attack (Weapons of Mass Destruction ya know ?). You only caught a glimpse of what has become your cheese... if one can call that a cheese. In fact, everything in it has melted to form a new material, partially liquid, partially solid (probably bits of crust not melted), who - hell - smells more than a dead deer. And do you know how it was eaten ? The French took a bread that has the shape of a wand, opened it on its length, and let the cheese flow in it, and ate it !

See ? No need for microwaves, you just need French cheeses

PS : The worst is that is was DAMN EXCELLENT !



[This message has been edited by Moon Shadow (edited 08-16-2003).]

quote:

---

Th only cheese you get around here that doesn't melt is the 'low fat' kind ...

---

And that's what I thought I had gotten by mistake. But, no, I lifted the wrapper gingerly from the wastebasket and it's just plain old Kraft American slices. I wonder if they've lowered the fat content. Probably. Bastards. I can regulate my own fat intake, thankyouverymuch.

My only problem now is finding a replacement cheese. Generics are right out, of course. Tried that once to save a few pennies and got a sandwich that tasted like lubricated surgical glove. Buttery, lubricated surgical glove.

Deli cheese is out because, well, one of the great things about a grilled cheese is that it doesn't cost the same as mahi-mahi that I flew to Hawaii to catch myself.

Velveeta slices? Hmm. Doesn't seem right.

Really, does another name-brand, individually wrapped American slice even exist?

My culinary life was fine until last night.

pre-wrapped cheese slices are the devil

The price of cheese from the deli (where I live anyway...) is pretty damn close to the slices anyway, pound for pound. Sometimes it's actually cheaper.

I couldn't possibly imagine eating those flappy nasty half plastic things.....

Let's start the list:

Cheese should not be:

Glossy
Rubber
Dried
Dried Rubber
Able to be rolled and have a cocktail stick put through it

Tillimook makes good cheese, though, i dunno if it's individually wrapped but it is sliced. it's a lil more expensive, but well worth it.

i'd also second DL on getting deli cheese. really the cost would be about the same for american cheese. even if it were a lil more, at least the stuff would melt

__________________________
Cell 1007::

I made some boogers on the grill the other day and my cheese slices (Kraft) melted poifectly.

Maybe you got a lot that'd been exposed to gamma radiation?

:::11oh1:::

Land O' Lakes makes a pretty decent individually wrapped american cheese, but I don't know how well distributed it is. Bongard's makes a really good american cheese, but I've never seen it individually wrapped.

You could also try Crystal Farms.

Sliced and wraped as it should be. It's not a proper American grilled cheese sandwich otherwise.

J. Stuart J.

PS> Don't you just love the internet? No where else could you have an international converstion on cheese. Well at least with out involving alcohol, narcotics and large phone bills.


[This message has been edited by jstuartj (edited 08-17-2003).]

quote:

---

I wonder if they've lowered the fat content.

---

I wouldn't be surprised:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/healthscience/135144207_kraft02.html

What? Smaller portions!?


Bastards.

I know it sounds like a stupid question, but,,,, what's in the cheese? It sounds like it has been vulcanised.
***Remember Soylent Green***

i don't recall you saying if you actually ate the sandwich you made.. mybe it was not cheese at all but rather a couple of fire retardent floor or wall tiles that got put in the wrong package at the store.

Cheese singles are made of people!! They're people!!!

Anyways, I have had this problem in the past, the cheese singles were out of date and the moisture content was very low, and they were rubbery. Who knows what kind of wierd preservatives they put in that stuff, I don't think it is cheese though. Anything that says pre-processed cheese food is not really cheese, it's more like a cheese alternative, as margarine is to butter.

Ramasax

:::11oh1:::

Nice one krets lmao Adds a new slant to "You are what you eat".

Krets, that's hilarious. (That's one creepy index finger, though.)

Monterey Jack is the only cheese originating in the "new world." great raw or cooked. it melts wonderfully! i prefer mine heated until it bubbles - smooths out the flavor

american cheese is made from the scrapings of all the other cheese pots at the factory. it used to come out sometimes orange and sometimes more on the white side because of this, but i've noticed the color is more standardized now

I got no problems with cheese, in fact I don't eat them.