Topic awaiting preservation: A joke... (Page 1 of 1)

For all us EUROpean out there

Subject: EuroEnglish

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German; which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, ?s? will be used instead of the soft ?c?.

Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.

Also, the hard ?c? will be replaced with ?k?. Not only will this clear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiam in the second year. When the troublesome ?ph? will be replaced by ?f?. This will make words like ?fotograf? 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent ?e?s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing ?th? by ?z? and ?w? by ?v?.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ?o? kan be dropd from vords containing ?ou?, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of letters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Fun eh??
/Dan


{cell 260}
-{ a vibration is a movement that doesn't know which way to go }-

heh. good one DmS
BUT:

quote:

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Not only will this clear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

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shouldn't clear also be written with a K? KLEAR what i mean?

PORTFOLIO0

Mark Twain's was better... ;-)

Nice one

You noticed that too, mas? I just copy pasted this into my E-mail editor (MS Word) Holy red and green underlines batman! Not a happy page of text. Believe you me.

Mark Twain's what was better?

As long as we're pointing out mistakes

quote:

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Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of silent ?e?s in the language is disgrasful, and they would go.

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'horrible' should be horible

And "will" should be "wil".