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Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-14-2003 13:02

I know the standard answer to the upcoming question will most likely be a resounding "NO, DAMNIT!", but I'll ask anyway. Can someone here make a sig for me?My coffee swirl sig's acting up, and I have no idea how to use Illustrator. Thank you so much if you do, I'll be eternally in your debt for about two weeks if it's a good one.

Until then, I'm pretty much sigless.

-RN3-

mahjqa
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: The Demented Side of the Fence
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 07-14-2003 13:13

You DO know what happened to the last guy who asked me for a sig, right? I would want to make you one, but you will have to use it for the period of your eternal debt. Let's say, two weeks. Deal?

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-15-2003 02:54

Deal. Thanks mahjqa, you legend.

Schitzoboy
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Yes
Insane since: Feb 2001

posted posted 07-15-2003 03:12

hehe ... hehehehe...heheHAHAH MUAHAHAHAH MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

docilebob
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: buttcrack of the midwest
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 07-15-2003 03:15

hehehe
~coughsuckercough~

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 07-15-2003 04:39

Ooh... this should be good.

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-15-2003 04:49

What? Why do your posts give me an impending sense of doom? What do you know that
I don't?

Moth
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: columbus, ohio, usa
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 07-15-2003 05:28

*snicker* Oh, nothing. *snicker*

mas
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: the space between us
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-15-2003 07:35

n n n nothing. wuhahaha

Tyberius Prime
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Germany
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 07-15-2003 12:52

"We are your friends. Surely you can see that now. We want your journey to be smoother. Don't you want your journey to be smoother? "

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-15-2003 13:38

*extreme worry!

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 07-15-2003 14:28
quote:
What do you know that
I don't?



Well....uh...for starters, we read Mahjqa's post

Beyond that, the list gets far too long to write out in any detail....



phyreHazard
Nervous Wreck (II) Inmate

From: Augusta, GA
Insane since: Nov 2002

posted posted 07-15-2003 20:46
quote:
"We are your friends. Surely you can see that now. We want your journey to be smoother. Don't you want your journey to be smoother? "



Off topic, but is that an Adams or Anton Wilson quote? Or both... or neither?

Googled the whole thing and got that far, but ran into a wall at the One World Alliance (which seems totally unrelated to a quote like this).

Rauthrin
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: 2 Miles Below Insane
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 07-15-2003 21:11

Meheheheheheh......... I don't know what's going on, but it's funny...

mahjqa
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: The Demented Side of the Fence
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 07-15-2003 23:49

Dear Rameses Niblik the 3rd, dear Rauthrin. Look at this sig. It is not mine. It was for the previous guy who requested me to make him a signature

eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 07-16-2003 01:23

heh, thats not a bad sig :rollseyes:

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-16-2003 03:07

But that's a good sig. Mahjqa, you're not making a lot of sense.

[edit]??confused??[/edit]

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 07-16-2003 03:27

Hah!!!

Oh, this is too much.

Ok then, please majqa, make one *just* as good for rameses =)

Astrolegoboy
Obsessive-Compulsive (I) Inmate

From: padded cell
Insane since: Jul 2003

posted posted 07-16-2003 03:34

Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it !

Relatively new here (okay - really new FRESH MEAT)
but enjoying the banter thus far.



[This message has been edited by Astrolegoboy (edited 07-16-2003).]

Wolfen
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Minnesota
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 07-16-2003 04:55

*curls in a ball around my nightstick whimpering and covering my face with my paws.*


The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH''

Wolfen's Sig Site

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 07-16-2003 09:06

RN3: Let me give you a hint... yes, someone around here isn't making a lot of sense, but it ain't mahjqa. I can think of another word to describe said person... rhymes with "sense"... starts with a "d"...

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 07-17-2003 03:17

Suho1004: 'defense'?

Do I win a prize? Do I?

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Indus
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: Maine
Insane since: Aug 2002

posted posted 07-17-2003 04:23

Dense!!!! Yay I win!!! =)

or did I win??

Tyberius Prime
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Germany
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 07-17-2003 09:56

phyreHazard: - of course that's the One World Allience! see http://c2.com/cgi/wiki?OneWorldAlliance ...

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-17-2003 14:01

Okay, just screw the whole thing.

RN3, the Sigless Wonder

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 07-17-2003 14:13

That's the spirit!

trib
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Den Haag, Netherlands
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-17-2003 18:34

Ohhh you guys are really mean ... all he wanted was a siggie !!!



[This message has been edited by trib (edited 08-19-2003).]

Lucid Iguana
Nervous Wreck (II) Inmate

From: Columbus, GA, US
Insane since: Dec 2000

posted posted 07-17-2003 19:24

Yikes.

mas
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: the space between us
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-17-2003 22:27

adsl.highway.telekom.at ?
thats an austrian provider!

synax
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 666
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 07-17-2003 23:29

uh, mas - it's YOUR provider...

fenja
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: Norway
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 07-17-2003 23:41

That's so cool!

docilebob
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: buttcrack of the midwest
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 07-18-2003 04:10

Bahahaa. Well done trib.

tomeaglescz
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Czech Republic via Bristol UK
Insane since: Feb 2002

posted posted 07-18-2003 08:21

hehehe nice one trib, i looked twice at that when i saw my ip and os and browser listed on it, nifty effect

trib
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Den Haag, Netherlands
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-18-2003 12:18

It's a bit of throwaway php I wrote ... originally it was to give me a sig which showed the "Currently Playing" track on my web radio station ... but it can easily be modified to work as a random quotation "fortune cookie", with or without randomly selected background pictures, or as I did it here .. a "gotcha" sig ... If you're interested, here's the code for the one above ...

code:
?php
//
// get the information about the brower etc
// this needs browsecap.ini to be up-to-date and
// the browsecap entry in php.ini to be set to on
//
$tempthing = get_browser();
$browser = $tempthing->parent;
$os = $tempthing->platform;
//
// now make up the ip and domain details (read the php.net documentation and
// notes on the gethostbyaddr() function and the $_SERVER[$REMOTE_HOST] variable
// if you really want to see why I did it this way.
//
$ip = $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'] ? $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'] : "unknown address";
$domain = $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'] ? gethostbyaddr($ip) : "unknown host";
//
// set up the tsxt strings to be superimposed on the graphic
//
$line0="Rameses Niblik the Third Sees all knows all";
$line1="Hello ".$ip." at ".$domain;
$line2="are you happy with ".$browser." on ".$os."?";
//
// define the mime-type and get the starting picture
//
header("Content-type: image/jpeg");
$im = imagecreatefromjpeg("./rn3.jpg");
//
// define a few colours for the text
// linux handles colours pretty poorly so I use imagecolorclosest()
// for a solaris box you can use imagecolorallocate() and get a precise match
// the black is to give me a chiselled look - use a 1+1 px diagonal offset
//
$black = imagecolorclosest($im, 0, 0, 0);
$orange = imagecolorclosest($im, 255, 80, 0);
//
// font size 1 is 5 px wide, size 2 is 6, size 3 is 7.5
// you have 5 font sizes to choose from and you can import
// and define more fonts if you want to (see imageloadfont())
// The first line calculates the centred starting position for a line
// the next 2 put it on the pikkie forst in black then in colour
//
$px = (imagesx($im) - 5 * strlen($line0)) / 2;
imagestring($im, 1, $px, 3, $line0, $black);
imagestring($im, 1, $px+1, 4, $line0, $orange);
//
// repeat for the number of lines you have
//
$px = (imagesx($im) - 5 * strlen($line1)) / 2;
imagestring($im, 1, $px, 16, $line1, $black);
imagestring($im, 1, $px+1, 17, $line1, $orange);
//
// we have two of them
//
$px = (imagesx($im) - 5 * strlen($line2)) / 2;
imagestring($im, 1, $px, 28, $line2, $black);
imagestring($im, 1, $px+1, 29, $line2, $orange);
//
// output the new picture and clean up
//
imagejpeg($im);
imagedestroy($im);
//
// bingo ... simple eh ??
//
?>

you call it with an img tag containing the name of the php file instead of the image. If you want to get REALLy slick, you can put the whole lot in a sub-dir, and create a .htaccess file containing

RedirectMatch (.*)sig.jpg$ $1.php

ind if your apache server recognises it, you can then use an img tag with a "genuine" .jpg name in it (filesig.jpg), and confuse everyone even more ... bwahahahahaha

The code is pretty self-explanatory, and all the functions are well documented at http://www.php.net, but if you have an earlier version of PHP (pre - 4.3) you will need to install the GD library and compile against it to get the graphics manipulation.


tune in now (Winamp .pls file)

[This message has been edited by trib (edited 07-21-2003).]

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-21-2003 00:44
quote:
bingo ... simple eh ??



No.

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-21-2003 00:48

Checking.

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 07-21-2003 00:49

And on the other background.

Thanks trib, you legend!



[This message has been edited by Rameses Niblik the Third (edited 07-21-2003).]

trib
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Den Haag, Netherlands
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-21-2003 08:45

Hey RN3 .. my pleasure ... now try referring to it as rn3sig.jpg instead of rn3.php ... I installed the RedirectMatch line in the directory so the deception is complete. See ...



[This message has been edited by trib (edited 07-21-2003).]

silver-dragon
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: AZ
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 07-24-2003 03:26

ugh! i cant get this thing to work on my server can u help trib

trib
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Den Haag, Netherlands
Insane since: Sep 2002

posted posted 07-24-2003 10:02

Sorry S.D. - I really don't have a lot of time right now, and PHP installations are quite site-dependant, so I may not be able to put my finger on what's not working. First thing to do is to strip out the comments and check the syntax. I may have added a typo or something in the process of commenting the code (coz I did it as I posted it here so it isn't tested in commented form).

OTOH - You should be able to work out what it does from the code ... I commented it for that reason ... and anything you don't understand you can look up at http://www.php.net by searching for the functions in the function reference section (search on the front page) and reading the descriptions and the accompanying comments.

I always say that if you don't understand a piece of code, then you shouldn't be using it .. my apology ... that's not intended to be a piss-off, it's just that in my experience, not doing so only leads to grief later.


Bug-free software only exisits in two places
A programmer's mind and a salesman's lips

[This message has been edited by trib (edited 07-24-2003).]

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