Topic awaiting preservation: Marla and I (Page 1 of 1)

Being a regular (well, as regular as can be nowadays) viewer of 20/20 and Dateline, I'm sure you all can imagine the first thing to float into my head after finding a mysterious growth just under my skin one morning. Cancer. Lovely. Because that's exactly what would make everything complete in my life, a terminal illness that would both drain finances and health and prematurely rid the planet of yet another mumu wearin' psycho. It wasn't big, maybe the size of a pea, and it didn't hurt. I thought maybe it was just a pimple, and squeezed and poked and prodded at it for a while. Okay, so that hurt.

Tried not making a big deal out of it. A day later, it doubled in size. Yet another day, even bigger. It's now about the size of a pingpong ball, though it still hadn't caused me any pain unless I played with it. Judging on size and worry of it now growing (along with my would-be tumor), I decided to see a Doc. Mixed blessings there...

No, it certainly wasn't cancer (I still have my suspicions), it was a binine cyst, and it's getting infected. A good 15 minute visit with the Doc (no, not that Doc) ran me about $140, because of my non-existant medical insurance coverage. But that's when I got the news... worse than cancer, worse than death... I'm stuck chosing between a prescription drug (whose side effects range from chronic green apple splatters to constant muscle cramps) or shelling out a good $2-3000 for a simple little hour long (if that) operation to get it removed. The drug isn't even guarenteed to work, which means I'd have the craps, cramps and cuts all done at one point or another.

Why spill the guts? (so to speak) Why post this here? Why not? I've told just about everyone else in my life, so I figured I'd let the fellow loonies in on it. Yep. It's there. Just sitting here, my new little buddy. Anyone want to chip in to 'Juice's Cyst Removal Foundation'? C'mon... spare a buck...

Have a good one folks, I'll be on the pot.

njuice42 Cell # 551
icq 957255

How about pay per view with your webcam? I'm lol of course when I say that and I DO NOT want to debate health care issues I will say only that; no one should be denied health care because they don't have money.

Juice...I actually would like contribute...but my dollar agaisnt yours means what I contribute would mean shit, but is there somewhere I can do it?

LOL
Well thank you for the kind gesture , but I'm really not asking for money. It'll be solved one way or another (it's actually subsiding lately in size, somewhat to my dissapointment).

It says 'Hi', by the way. Not sure what's up with that.

I'd go with the op - at least with cold steel you don't wonder about any funny side effects.

I have some fluff from my pocket I could contribute to your fund

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

OK, not to detract from the possible seriousness of this... but, who is Marla? Or did I just miss it both times I read through it? Only thing I can figure is that's what you named your new... um... friend?


All right, now back to quasi-serious posts...


-- Unoriginal Cell 693 --

Oh my god. I had the *exact* same thing a little over a year ago. had this little bump on my back for years, and then one day it just started swelling, and hurt like heck. (The doctor said that "the worst thing you can do is let it sit." I should have had it taken care of a lot earlier.)

Anyway, I got the operation, and it's been fine ever since. Just a slight scar where it was.

I don't know about your financial situation, but if it's not a big risk financially, I'd suggest you get the operation.

Hmm, it doesn't seem to be wanting to subside in size any since taking the pills, but I'll give it a little time to see if it won't.

Emps & Slime: Normally, I'd completely agree with the operation venue... in fact, looks to be headed that way as it is. Unfortunately, without proper medical insurance (which I don't have), it'll cost me an easy two grand or more. Double unfortunately, that's the kind of money I just simply cannot raise on my own, so it looks like I'll be coming to a few family members in the near future with an upturned hat and doe eyes. Sure hope the medicine works, cause that's really something I'd rather not do...

Lord F: Fight Club reference. "If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla." Freaked before I got to the Doc's office and thought it was a tumor, so I aptly named it Marla. Then I found out it was a cyst. Well I certainly can't demote it in rank for being a mere cyst, can I? Marla it is

njuice42 Cell # 551
icq 957255

Yup, go with the knife. If it's benign it should be fairly easy to remove, and it will be over and done with. Of course, the cost might be a bit prohibitive. Perhaps you could dress Marla in a mumu, stand on the street and do a ventriloquism act with you and you cyst-er (say it aloud). Then you could tell people you'll stop when you reach a certain dollar amount and then pass the hat around.

Suho - Now that's thinking outside the box That right there made my morning...

nj - The first time I read the subject line that's what I thought. If you can't laugh at your own tumor (or in your case, a not-tumor), then where's the fun in life?


"I am njuice's ever-growing cyst. Within the next 3 years, I will be large enough to take over small cities in my conquest of the modern world. Of course, I will still need njuice, because I must have some mode of transportation. And when we are finished, he will reign supreme over what remains of the human poulation. Then I,... <laughter type="evil"></laughter>, I shall be their God. <more laughter type="evil" duration="a solid 5 minutes">..."


-- Unoriginal Cell 693 --

I'd go with the steel. Expensive as it is, it won't be forgiving when it defeats Marla. She'll whine, wimper, and plead but in the end she'll end up as slides for some dweeb with an electron microscope to look at.

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

Suho: Good lawd man! Is the public ready for it? Could they stomach the earthy voice duo of Juice-n-the-cyst? That's a scary, scary thought... (then again, Eminem is number one on the billboards right now, so that's got to say something about people's tastes, right?)

Lord F: Indeed, a smart cookie you are. Smart enough to be a general in the crusades, at least. Rally the troops, we're taking North Dakota first! Yeehaw!

GD: I'm actually just wondering if I can handle the seperation anxiety... the post-operation seperation depression (I'm told) is as bad or worse than a mother's for her child... she's really beginning to grow on me... (groan, that was bad...)

<Moan - you're right... that was bad.>

Of course they (the doc's) might keep her alive and spawn Marlamites. A new secret weapon for the genetically enhanced soldiers or something. You could be the father of the new generation of symbiotic Marlings (Humnas who use symbiotic creature to enhance their reality bearing abilities)

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

ROTFLMAO Oh man, are you guys ever silly! I so enjoy these humorous (tumorous?) discussions...
(marlamites... heh heh heh... *whew* wipes tear from corner of eye...)

Seriously, look into the surgery. Surely they have some sort of credit/payment arrangements you can make... Also, look into some basic health insurance coverage. There are some decent individual plans out there. If you can't find something good that covers it all, go for something that will at least cover hospitalization. It's SO worth it! (Except where the dentist is concerned, because dental insurance doesn't cover ANYTHING, and is such a waste of money...) Good luck, to you and Marla...

Bodhi - Cell 617

You know, njuice, since it obviously isn't too far below the surface of your skin, a bottle of tequila and a pocket knife should be all a good friend would need to help you out.

(you might want to drink some of the tequila too. as a painkiller of course.)

I'm almost starting to think that you should be called St. Cynical... except that I agree with you in most respects. LOL i thought of that but... the dangers are worrysome.

Besides, doing that he might destroy a whole new race. Hey! That would give him the right to add 'Genocidal Surgeon' to his resume...

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

Geez, Seneca you dunno how close I've serious come to making that choice. A shot of Jack, a cork to bite on and my modeling XActo knife, couple towels... I'd do it, too, if I weren't such a putz.

njuice42 Cell # 551
icq 957255

Challenge the tumor to a DDR match. I guarantee she capitulates in the face of your mad skills.

I did, and we won't be talking about that anymore...

Friggin Double A scores... *grumbles*

njuice42 Cell # 551
icq 957255

Sounds like the operation is the best choice, IMO. And seriously if it came to passing around the hat, I wouldn't mind dropping in a few.

*looks funny at St. Seneca*

If hez drunk... he could, just maybe, hurt himself.

Errr... I would drink the bottle and have some one else do the deed while I was passed out.

If i waz you.

                                    &nbsp;

That's a bummer you don't have insurance. Surgery, even if it is outpatient, is really expensive.

I had a cyst on my arm one time. Freaked me out of course, because at the time I was pursuing a career as a classical guitarist. Could have hindered my career Went to the doctor and you know what he did? Popped the damn thing! Yep, right there in the doctors office. Freaking hurt like hell. Squeezed the thing like a pimple. I won't go into any more details.

But, on topic, if I had the money, I would certainly contribute. Right now, I am still trying to recover from my breif layoff period.

Good luck to you though. Keep up informed. And tell Marla hi

Later,
C:\


~Binary is best~

Dude, I got some Lidocaine and a surgical scalpel. Hell, I'll only charge ya' $500.

Seriously though, I cannot begin to comprehend how fucked up the medical system must be these days to charge two grand for minor topical surgery. Blows my mind, dude, seriously.

Thanks, everyone, for your support. It's great to see other people actually willing to contribute to aide a fellow inmate when they need it worst. Some good news on the subject (for a change)! The medication has had a nice shrinking effect on Marla, as it's gone down to about the size of a small marble again. I called the Doc (fully letting him know that I wasn't about to spend another $140 for a 15 minute visit) and he told me that since it's going down in size, a simple lancing might be in order should they not completely work (the pills, that is) rather than the costly operation.

It's a time of mixed feelings, really. I'm happy I won't have to knock off a grocery store to pay for it, but I feel like I'm losing a friend... *gets all misty eyed, cue sappy insturmental montage of happy memories... me on the swing... me in the meadow...*

He also told me that it was a good thing I didn't do the lancing myself, because of risk of infection, not to mention the fact that I honestly don't know what I would have done in the first place. About two days left on the prescription, too, so I'm going to see if I can't get him to renew it and give that a whirl. After all, $25 is much less than $200 for the lancing, and a hell of a lot less than the couple grand for the removal operation.

I'll spare everyone of the details that the pills are giving me, side-effect wise. Cause... ya'll really don't want to know.

Kinda stinks, I was looking forward to making Marla the star of her own pay-per-view amature operation extravaganza... I guess I'll have to wait until I get another tumo... cyst.

Thanks again, you folks rock my face.

njuice42 Cell # 551
icq 957255