Topic awaiting preservation: A war we all must fight.... (Page 1 of 1)

The war on masturbation

The poster has demanded we remove all his contributions, less he takes legal action.
We have done so.
Now Tyberius Prime expects him to start complaining that we removed his 'free speech' since this message will replace all of his posts, past and future.
Don't follow his example - seek real life help first.

The poster has demanded we remove all his contributions, less he takes legal action.
We have done so.
Now Tyberius Prime expects him to start complaining that we removed his 'free speech' since this message will replace all of his posts, past and future.
Don't follow his example - seek real life help first.

Well, personally, I think everything started going downhill when God decided to stop striking people dead.

I think we'd all be alot clearer on where he stood if lightning deaths were still prevalent when immediately preceded by masturbation.

I think the world would be a lot less populated...

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Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness.

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Drat! And here I thought weakness was because I can't afford a personal trainer and depression was because of the neverending dreary days here on th North Coast. Why, just this past Monday I saw the eye doctor about new lenses and... dang, I know I'm forgetting something...

quote:

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Myth: Americans value their "Freedom" and will never stand for Masturbation being outlawed.
Reality: Oral and anal sex are already illegal in several States, and people like it that way! Masturbatory devices are already illegal in Texas, and the Police in San Antonio and Austin have aggressively enforced this law, even going as far as to torture clerks that worked in stores that sold indecently-shaped soap and candles, and there has been no public outcry.

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So let me see here... Torture is okay but mastubating is wrong? Reminds me of the George Carlin skit..."In war it's legal to shoot napalm at someone, back home it's illegal to give them an Orgasm!!"

quote:

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Myth: But everyone's doing it!
Reality: Surveys have repeatedly shown that up to 5% of Americans don't Masturbate.

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95% of all americans admit that they masturbate... the other 5% are liars. That's all I have to say about that...

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

I love the link to the... "whitehouse" site. The problem is that it'll fool some people. I started rolling when i saw the crime vs. masturbation comparisons. You would think that people would be to busy stroking the dolphin, choking the snake, strangling the weasal, slapping the salami, pounding the pud.... ummm.... what was I saying... oh yeah... doing all that to commit any crimes....

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

quote:

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Well, personally, I think everything started going downhill when God decided to stop striking people dead.

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Beautiful. One for Suho's 'golden book of wisdom'

=)

Krets - I think the world would be completly unpopulated.....

DANG IT! My supervisors finally leave so I can pull up that page, and it's exceeded it's traffic limit already...


Bodhi - Cell 617

I believe krets' views on the subject are clear.

No wonder I hardly see Bugs around anymore

Just call me France.

hey France

Jason

Okay, now stop.

Here's something you don't read everyday:
http://www.family.org/docstudy/solid/a0014922.html

. . : slicePuzzle

DL: You know, I was thinking the same exact thing when I read that... that's definitely a pearl.

For the record, God didn't kill Onan for masturbating. This is a scripture consistently taken out of context by Christians who don't actually read the Bible.

Onan was called upon by his father Judah to take the wife of his brother Er, who was slain, and have children by her, which was the custom. Onan did not want to do this, so when he "went in unto his brother?s wife," he pulled out ? for lack of a better term ? so she wouldn't have his children.

That is what displeased God. It had not one thing to do with masturbating. And until somebody shows me a legitimate scripture that forbids it, I'll just keep on flogging, thank you very much.

Oh, and on a lighter note.



  Offbeat, roadside Texas attractions. (A little Google bombing doesn't hurt.)