Topic awaiting preservation: Lock Tester Returns (Page 1 of 1)

Just think of this as a version of the "Continue the Story" topic a while back.

[moved to P&S]

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The beast leapt at the two clowns, its Zoloft-saturated fangs racing forward. Panicking, Wingus and Dingus had no choice but to...



[This message has been edited by Emperor (edited 12-04-2002).]

...play a grueling three-week chess championship, which was won by Gary Kasparov, in accordance with the Commie Jew Illuminati computer conspiracy that controls all professional chess...

"Checkmate" says Wingus.

"Good game" replies Dingus "but what about the beast?".

With a start both clowns turn around to see the beast waiting patiently for the game to finish. It glances up and seeing that the clowns had finished their game it puts down the copy of 'War and Peace' that it was reading and springs back into angry readiness.

The clowns jump into their tiny, comedy clown car and make their very slow getaway from the Big Top. Tunring left at the lion cage they found themselves heading towards.............

another lion cage. And they ran and ran and ran and ran, and noticed they were running on a conveyer belt that was going in the opposite direction, so they were going nowhere. And this was when they saw the lion cage in front of them open, and a giant lion was running right towards them. They looked over their shoulder and saw the beast on the conveyer belt, trying to catch them, and the in front of them the lion. That was when they decided to....................................................................................................

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[This message has been edited by Gilbert Nolander (edited 12-06-2002).]

Kill everything. Like, everything. They unloaded the whole arsenal: berettas, uzis, cannons, magnums, gatling guns, cannonball-shaped clown bombs, potato guns, monkey launchers, trebuchets, theater nukes, razor-edged frisbees, dangerously sharp pencils, and a Super Soaker 4500 XL.

Twelve very loud minutes later, they stood together, exhausted, at the bottom of a five-hundred-foot-wide crater. "Crikey," Wingus muttered. "I could go for a..."

cool Guinness draught right now. Let's go get one."

And they linked arms and made their way carefully through the carnage towards the...

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[This message has been edited by bodhi23 (edited 12-04-2002).]

....the other end when all of the suddenly, in a twist of events too strange to be described fully in less than a few millenia, reality got pixelized.
Midi like music started playing, distance was no longer relative to how far you were to things, the color spectrum was no longer continuum, they had their movements constringed to a few idiographic motions and suddenly everyone was a martial expert. Yes, they were now in a 2d beat'em up...


They tried to talk, but their vocabulary was limited to a few expressions, such "you're skills make me laugh", "don't be down", about 300 variations of "a-yah!" and other 300 variations of "ugh..."

Suddenly, the great voice from beyond screamed Fight!

Unable to resist the urge of doing their victory animation...

The two clowns broke out in a rather nasty, non-dimensional, fight.

"A-yah!!!!!!!!!!" yelled Wingus

"Ughhhhhhhh!!!" screached Dingus

Dingus tried to hit Wingus with a brutal upper-cut, but Wingus easily dodged it, saying...

"Your skills make me laugh!!!"

Running in fear of the great skills of Wingus, Dingus.............

...tucked his body and rolled forward, his momentum slowed. He deftly sprang into a crouching lotus, awaiting his opponent.

Wingus parried his left arm forward, the Way of the Claw formed by his fingers. Dingus sliced his torso sideways and spun in the Form of the Propeller. Wingus' reversed his right arm and brought his left foot around in the Swift Kick of the Kangaroo catching Dingus in the gut. Dingus fell heavily, the breath knocked out of him. With a deafening roar, Wingus leapt into the air, his arms and legs forming the Stance of the Jumping Monkey. Scissoring his legs and twirling his body, Dingus blocked the technique with the Boogie of the Break Dancer.

Silently, the stood apart, each appreciating the other's skills.

Suddenly, they could no longer move, each frozen in position. From the air between them, large flashing letters appeared:

"Please insert another token..."

... and the two clowns realised, to their ultimate horror, that they were inside an amusement park slot machine. The beast was no more than...