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Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: cEll 513, west wing of the ninth plain
Insane since: Dec 2000

posted posted 01-29-2003 23:19

You are trapped in a tight situation .. determining whether to go cross the pond for a oportunity of a lifetime .. to establish yourself and secure your future .. financially and spiritually .. but your torn from your fathers current state .. your father is living the last of his days now doctors say maybe 6 months to live .. your torn at this decision and if you don't make it now this opportunity will not represent itself again

your father says "take it son, your happiness and well being is important to me and I love you and I know you love me and will visit" .. but even though he says this to you .. you still feel like you can't leave your father when in need .. but still you have this great offer for your future and the future of your family in general

Now what would you do!?

[note: this is NO way resembles what is going on in my life .. this "What would you do?" started some months back when I was having a personal problem and I liked the response I got so I continued doing this "what would you do?" topic and glad that people would participate .. another note .. my father is fine I just saw him this past weekend up in Chicago for his B-Day .. he happened to be near St. Louis where I currently reside .. he was out there with my step-mom for a conference so I flew up for a visit]

.::. cEll .::. 513

[This message has been edited by RammStein (edited 01-29-2003).]

Maniac (V) Inmate

From: soon to be "the land down under"
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 01-30-2003 00:46

That's easy. I'd stay with my father no matter what. No matter what the opportunity is, you will always have a valuable commodity: time. There is time for life and time to seek other, even lesser, opportunities.

But spending the last of your fathers time with him is something that just can't be measured against any criteria.

Perfect Thunder
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Milwaukee
Insane since: Oct 2001

posted posted 01-30-2003 00:58

Yeah, that's a really simple decision. The branching path of your own life stretches out for decades yet; who's to say that in passing up this job, you're not allowing yourself to take a better one later? But your father's life stretches out for half a year, and then that's it... the ultimate ending, for him. Every minute is a closing door, where the branches of his life grow fewer in number. You have to spend your time with him. You'll regret it forever if you don't.

Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Raleigh, NC
Insane since: Jan 2003

posted posted 01-30-2003 01:53

well i hate my dad, but i love my girlfriend with all my heart.... i would probably go with the job so i can assure that my baby lives the kind of life she deserves and i could be the man that my father wasn't. so... there's my answer.

"Salting the back of a snail... My turkish prison is knowing that i fit in...."- Glassjaw

Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 01-30-2003 05:07

You can never tell what the future may hold. Although it may seem that the opportunity will never present itself again, you can't know that for sure. That being said, I would choose family even if I knew that I would never have the opportunity again. I can say that with even more assurance since I know what it is like to be away from family for a long time.

The summer before last, my wife and I visited my parents in the States. Before we went, my mom sent me a videotape of the changes they had made to the house. There was some room left on the tape, so at the end she videotaped my dad mowing the lawn. I was shocked... there was my father with very visible grey hair mixed in with the black hair. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it hit me like a brick wall--my parents were getting older. It took everything in me not to start crying.

When we actually got to the States, we walked in the front door of my parents' house. I hadn't seen my youngest brother in years--when my wife and I got married, he was a cute little 13-year old kid (yes, there's quite an age difference), but there at the top of the stairs stood this huge 18-year old with a crew cut. I swear I almost collapsed on the spot. I didn't speak to anybody, I just went straight into my old room and stood there staring at the wall. It was a while before I could come out again and face the young man who was my little brother--a brother that I had to admit I didn't know anymore.

I like my life here. Things are going well for me. But not a day goes by that I don't think of my family, and how time is slipping by. If I got news that my father or mother was sick, I would give everything up without a second thought. They say that you'll always have family, like your family is something to fall back on, but it's not true. You won't always have family.

Anyway, the question is a no-brainer as far as I'm concerned. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go get some friggin' Kleenex.

Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 01-30-2003 11:52

*Passes Master Suho a kleenex*

Yup. I know the feeling well.

I also agree with Master Suho...this subject is a no-brainer, as far as I'm concerned...Family is always more important, to me, than anything else...

My situation is very similar...though it is my daughter, in this case. I could leave Germany, my life would be better, I have much better opportunites elsewhere...not to mention living standard, and being close to my Family at home. However, my daughter is here, in Germany. And she doesn't live by me (I only get to see her every two weeks, for the weekend). My choice (because that is what it is), is to stay here, in Germany...near my daughter. Yes, I am missing other opportunities, to be sure. But, my daughter is much more important.

And, as Master Suho has pointed out...Family is not forever...members die. Just last year, my Uncle died. I was very relieved, that I could be there, when it happened...with my Family.

Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: The Astral Plane
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 01-30-2003 15:54

Aye, I agree. In my present situation the answer to this question couldn't be more clear. Family is the only true reflection of yourself that you're likely to get in your life. if you give that up... you've lost something for yourself and your legacy.

"Time is the fire in which we burn... Quit stoking the fire!!"

[This message has been edited by GrythusDraconis (edited 01-30-2003).]

Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Where I'm from isn't where I'm at!
Insane since: Jun 2002

posted posted 01-30-2003 16:36

Looking at the flip-side of the argument for a second...

If I were the father in question, I'd tell my son that he should take the oportunity, or lose his father 6 months early damit!
I realise he'd probably not want to, but hey, my life would be coming to its natural conclusion, whereas his is just beginning to open up.

As the son, I'd beat the crap outa him and tell him to stop being so psylosophical, forget the oportunity, and stick it out until he corked it. Then, I'd go looking for a new oportunity.

Question is... by going against his dying wish, do I further complicate my predicament?

Just too many variables.

Money is the game other people play, that I try to avoid by having just enough not to play it.
-Norman Mailer
[Dufty][Cell 698]

Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: cEll 513, west wing of the ninth plain
Insane since: Dec 2000

posted posted 01-30-2003 16:47

ahhhh yes .. TY Dufty .. I was waiting for someone to point out that this question is alittle more complex then it seems

so those that stay around to be with there father .. how would your father feel? would it put more on his heart and make him feel bad? looking at the flip side .. if you were the father wouldn't you want your child's security be more important .. security in the nature that he can provide for himself and others for the rest of his life? would staying for your father make him feel guilty and make his health dwindle faster? so many variables

thanks for responding people

as for me .. hmmmm .. I think I would go take the opportunity .. yes family is important to me .. but being a son and even a future father .. I know that I will have a family to take care of .. not to mention even taking care of mother or sisters or other family members .. and I would visit as much possible .. I think my father would understand and do the same thing I would have done .. his life is ending my life is just beginning .. and I would do what provides me and my future family security in everyway

.::. cEll .::. 513

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