Topic awaiting preservation: Sleeping Partners ? (Page 1 of 1)

What are your opinions on two consenting friends sleeping together ?

If two people have been involved in a relationship and for various reasons the relationship broke down, would it be ethical to still sleep together.

I feel that as long as both parties are consenting and in agreement, it should not pose a problem.

Well..... ok......but what if the other person will say and doing anything to convince that other person that its a casual thing, when actually, there just hiding geniune feelings. If you see what i mean


Did you understand that ?coz i don't think i did lmao

I would agree that both people would have to have discussed and felt comfortable with their own feelings in order for it to work.

Relationship or no relationship, feelings remain the same, its only time and circumstances that may change those.

What if one of the persons feelings ran higher than the others ? What problems would that cause ?

Whether is be casual or regual sex, i think it is better to have 1 regualr partner you care about than several you dont.



[This message has been edited by axleclarkeuk (edited 04-03-2003).]

quote:

---

What are your opinions on two consenting friends sleeping together ?

If two people have been involved in a relationship and for various reasons the relationship broke down, would it be ethical to still sleep together

---

Actually, this is two different scenarios. The first one, two consenting friends sleeping together is just fine - as long as it is consenting, and both are aware of what they are doing.

The second one, however, is fraught with difficulties...because of the emotional baggage, IMHO. Depends on the time-frame, and the person(s) in question, I guess.

[This message has been edited by WebShaman (edited 04-04-2003).]

Well, personally, I wouldn't be able to do it (the second scenario). I tried this once, but it just ended up making things worse. In fact, I would rank that among the most heart-rending experiences of my life. Not the sex, of course, but what happened afterward.

Then again, I am a very emotional and sensitive person, and I tend to get very attached to people. In fact, I don't think the first scenario would work either. I was just never into "casual sex." But that's just me.

Ethical? Sure, why the hell not.

Practical? Oh dear god no. Anyone who thinks it will actually 'work out' that way is in a huge amount of denial.

Well i agree, especially if one of you had higher feelings and the other person knew it, then i would have to say that it would be irresponsible for that other person to let it happen.

Plus if you have sex with a person who hasn't got the same feelings for you, you will feel like crap........sooner rather than later

Yeah, when I finished college, I had a clean breakup with my girlfriend of the time. No problems at all. But then I visited the old alma mater a few times, and she didn't have a boyfriend, and she graciously offered me the use of her room so I wouldn't have to pay for a motel room, and you can guess what happened. Still, no problem, right? Well... she fell back in love with me, and I didn't fall back in love with her, and whoops! Horrible confrontation. Tears were involved.

My advice is don't do it.

If i am honest with myself, i would agree, but i am not so i wont !! lol

Seriously, I have no probs with the idea, but it has to be a two way thing, and if the other person doesnt feel the same way, then theres no point pursuing it.

Probably for the best i say.

Rather have a friend than a no freind.

If both parties fully understand the implications of such a close encounter, sure, why not? It doesn't work for everyone, but certainly there are people who don't have problems with this sort of involvement.

For 2 people who have been in a relationship, I agree with the thought that there's probably too much emotional baggage attached to sexual relations after you've been so emotionally intimate. Probably not such a good idea.

Before I met my husband, I had a couple of relationships where this happened, and the ending results were not pretty. But I have also had friendships with those kinds of fringe benefits, that were just fine. I think it really depends on the emotional and mental state of the people involved. It's touchy. Definitely touchy. (no pun intended!)

Bodhi - Cell 617

I saw something on TV about that the other week (option 1 anyway) with the rather glamorous title of 'Fuck Buddy' or something. It did strike me as quite an odd concept but as long as one only thought with the brain in your pants (and thats you too ladies) then I suppose it could work (I had a friend who had a relationship described by Dial-A-Shag which seemed to work until they both wandered into other relationships) but I could see that someone would always end up wanting something more out of it and then they'd end up getting hurt.

On the second point - unless you actually planned on getting back together with them then I wouldn't recommend it.

If you want your no commitment jollies then get drunk and find a stranger!!

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode that answered this question?

Is it ethical? Depends on whose ethics you're talking about, doesn't it?

I'm a naughty boy !!

It sounds to me like someone's just looking for a three hole playmate. I can't treat my friends that way. If I just want a F*** Friend I'll go find someone and never tell them my name. Hell, a whole line of someones if I need it that bad. Friend... I suppose in either posed situation the excuse, "She's just a friend" wouldn't work anymore. I mean where does that separation happen. It would make any later relationship more difficult I should think.

GrythusDraconis
"I'm sick of hearing that beauty is only skin-deep. That's deep enough. Who wants an adorable pancreas?" - Unknown

Hon
Es
Ty

Life seems so much simpler if you stop making complex the simplest ideas because you want a more complex answer. Any situation is workable "ethical" if you will, as long as you make sure that you're completely honest with the other person, AND with yourself.

What does that entail? It means reading the situation. SEEING the motives that the other person has, as well as your own. If you can understand being personally responsible, honest, intuitive and open eyed, then you're fine.

Nice answer? Not at all. Understanding and incorporating the above concepts into your life is tough. Realizing that your desires usually push you toward a "convenient" answer instead of an honest one makes for tough living. You get "easy" answers...you just don't get easy actions.

Noone needs to ask these sort of questions of other people...

They usually only do so to try and find some loophole to justify the behaviour that they know is "wrong" in some way. Justification is horrid, take your own steps, your own responsibilities, stop looking for an "out"

Dig?

i think the first (two friends) can be done fairly easily....like everyone else said...if they both know that all it is, is sex.

the second (ex's).....HELL NO!!! bad idea from the start!!!

__________________________
Cell 1007::SST

quote:

---

If you want your no commitment jollies then get drunk and find a stranger!!

---

quote:

---

Justification is horrid, take your own steps, your own responsibilities, stop looking for an "out"

---

Ah, fucking beautiful man. Couldn't have said it better.

Suho - got that 'golden book of wisdom' still?



[This message has been edited by DL-44 (edited 04-04-2003).]

*rummages around in his cell*

Now where did I put that thing... I knew I had it around here somewhere.

Gems like these, though, inspire me to really get serious about this...

my opinions, as always, are based on my beliefs.

from the crucible:

quote:

---

"there is a promise in such sweat"
"There is a promise made in any bed.?
?Spoke or silent, a promise is surely made."

---

whilst ancient philosophies have separated the human's body and soul, and this belief has lingered for years, i (and many other christians) do not believe this to be the case. They are one and the same, inseparable.

you cannot separate a physical action and its emotional consequences. Doing so causes all nature of confusion and emotional destruction.

quote:

---

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh."

---

1 corinthians 6:16(niv)

i could go on and on, but i think that i've communicated enough of my viewpoint.

Has firmly locked her cell.........so no one can get in ...again!

Nice post, DG...amen to that.

*sigh*

Wish I had the talent with words that you do...

a relationship where one person loves more than the other is called a master-slave relationship. the slave is *never* able to get the master to return love on an equal basis. i forget which psychology book i read that in...

A great philosopher once wrote " Naughty, Naughty very naughty...." - The Shamen

Hi all...

I had a really great and close female 'friend' from the age of 7 till I was about 22. It was such a beautiful relationship, so free and open... we could talk about anything and had enless years of uncomplicated good times. Untill we slept together... the whole realtionship transformed into something alien.. after a few very awkward weeks we actually never spoke again. It killed us dead. I never did that again. I think we both thought that a perfect frienship could be made complete with physical intimacy as the final cement. How wrong we were.
As for sleeping with ones' X ... I'm still working on it... (joke)

...xpi...

"nuff said"

axleclarkeuk: What an odd coincidence nly yesterday I was thinking:

1. What a god awful song 'Ebenezzer Goode' was.

2. How much I'd like to punch Mr. C.

Strange world eh?

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

I see nothing at all wrong with it, Pink. Two adult friends, why not?

Rarely works in my experience though. People are generally too emotional, self centered and involved. Everyone wants to think they're able to handle a buddy or an ex fuck, hardly anyone is.

I'm late again I think... I should visit this forum more often.