Topic awaiting preservation: If GOD gave you his/her powers ? (Page 2 of 2)

If I were granted god-power, the first thing I would do is change a few things about the whole aging process.
To start with babies would no longer be born cute. We would all start life butt-ugly and would gain a measure of good looks each year. By the time someone reached their 70th b-day, they would be stunningly beautiful.

Then I would make a few design changes to the human body. We would all have a prehensile tail, I've always wanted one of those. Knees would bend fowards, backwards, and sideways. This would greatly improve my dancing. Testicles would be moved to a more protected location. Breasts would be moved to the back, facilitating more eye contact(I'm a bit undecided on this one. I kinda like the current setup).

Also, humans would lay eggs, no more of this pregnancy nonsense.

Children would be born with a mute button and parents would have a button that, when pressed, would force them to really listen to what their child is saying to them.

Last but not least- multiple orgasms for men, just to be fair.

You mean men dont already have multiple orgasms ? Damn !! I must be an exception to the rule.



[This message has been edited by axleclarkeuk (edited 04-27-2003).]

axleclarkeuk: Our definitions of "Multiple Orgasms" must differ. If not, my knowledge of human physiolgy is off, not to mention that I must now question both the methods and the validity of my years of research. This will necessitate more experimentation. Ahh.. the sacrifices we must make for science.

One more thing I would change... I would remove the ability to Hate. Unlike anger, which can be a very useful and nessesary tool, Hate does not ever help or solve anything, it just causes more problems, and unfortunately tends to be highly contagious.

If I were to be gifted with godly powers... I would:
1.) Find where all the dead people go.
2.) Return the planet to an Ice Age... because mile high glaciers are just cool.
3.) Bring back the Wooly Mammoth.
4.) Take away all current weapons for modern day warfare. (Planes, carriers, bombs, guns and our current favorite, WoMD, etc...) Once they disappear, the knowlege to create them would also disappear. In their place would return swords, flails, halberds and the like. Somehow I think people would be less eager to go to war if they had to be within 3 feet of the person they were killing.
5.) Bring back Douglas Adams.

georgetwn girl: Ah, my bad. I've been so swamped with work these days that I haven't been able to keep up with the shock therapy sessions. Come on down to the basement and we'll get you hooked up--you'll have lightning dribbling from your fingertips in no time.

If I had God's power's I would make thunder smell like really bad farts. And I would proclaim over the land...."This is what it smells like when God farts."

I think after this, it should take care of the reduction of the population because all the people would be trying to make it stop raining and they would all die of hunger.


-Quotes-

[This message has been edited by Gilbert Nolander (edited 04-28-2003).]

You're a sick man, Gilbert. But that's why we love you.

"this is what it smells like, when god farts"

Now, sing that to the tune of 'when doves cry' and you've got yourself a hit gilbert

Oh my God... that was hysterical. I don't think I've laughed that hard at a post in a while...

Definitely a 9 on the mirth scale.

Force George Lucas to do four more Star Wars movies (VII - X).

Force the Farrelly brothers to stop making movies.

Make humans immune to all diseases now and forever.

Give humans a life span of 10000 (just to see what we look like when we're 7230 years old).

Make myself immortal and omnipotent (like Q from Star Trek).

Give all people satellite TV.

Yes indeed, the world would become an interesting place with me as God.

quote:

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Force George Lucas to do four more Star Wars movies (VII - X).

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Um, can I amend my answer up there? I'd like to change it to this:

"Kill RN3 before he forces George Lucas to do four more Star Wars movies"

Or maybe just "Make sure George Lucas never comes into existence in the first place."

[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 04-29-2003).]

~notes suho's name on list of infidels to smite~

Oh yeah I forgot... I need to make dragons real too. Just cause it'd be cool.

GrythusDraconis
"I'm sick of hearing that beauty is only skin-deep. That's deep enough. Who wants an adorable pancreas?" - Unknown

Hmm... upon further consideration, I have determined that the second option would be too harsh. The first trilogy was good--I just wanted to avoid the further anguish of Lucas foisting yet more crap on us and completely destroying my childhood memories...

So I'll just strike RN3 with lightning and be done with it.

May I make a suggestion? Just give Lucas the intelligence to write a decent story, stop relying almost entirely on CGI and leave the direction to someone else.

Midichlorians -- give me a freaking break...

My point exactly! Everything was fine until Lucas became mentally ill and decided he could direct. Personally, though, I think it would just be easier to kill him now.

And yes, midichlorians... when I saw that in The Phantom Menace I wanted to scream like a wookie and stab Lucas with a lightspork.

First off... NO! Lucas won't do four more movies... Timothy Zahn will. He wrote the books following the original trilogy anyway. So make HIM make movies. I want to see Chewie's claws anyway...

GrythusDraconis
"I'm sick of hearing that beauty is only skin-deep. That's deep enough. Who wants an adorable pancreas?" - Unknown

begin subthread, what would you do if GOD gave you George Lucas's powers



.:[ Never resist a perfect moment ]:.

ROTFLMAOSBIH

GrythusDraconis
"I'm sick of hearing that beauty is only skin-deep. That's deep enough. Who wants an adorable pancreas?" - Unknown

Suho 1004.
Thank you. I will be right down... She puts on funny little wizard cap and the robe with the stars.....says don't blame me....it was Mum who put the fantasia decorations in my childhood bedroom........

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain