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axleclarkeuk
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Swansea, Wales, UK
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 04-25-2003 23:28

If GOD gave you his/her powers for a week, what would you do ?

Yes, this is based on a storyline from Jim Carey's latest film, " Bruce Almighty ", but i thought it would make an interesting topic.

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 04-25-2003 23:48

Nothing.

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:34

There are few things i would do:

1) men would have the babies......just to see how they would cope with labour
2) Let them experience PMT
3) give some of the members a sense of humour
4)Make me have a date with emperor
5)Reincarnate Elvis
6)By the way I am completely stoned and have no idea what i am typing also i have no idea where this post is going


WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:36

*Speechless*

krets
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: KC, KS
Insane since: Nov 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:43

^^^continue that trend^^^

:::krets.net:::

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:44

counterfeitbacon
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Vancouver, WA
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:47

Well, I'd give myself the super-wish-giving-ball, so that I could always have Gods powers.

Lacuna
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: the Asylum ghetto
Insane since: Oct 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 00:52

i'd start by wiping out the whole population of wales...... just to be on the safe side.

__________________________
Cell 1007::SST

krets
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: KC, KS
Insane since: Nov 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:09

Rid the world of SUV's permanently.

OR

Make them all clear and force anyone who wants to drive one to do so nude.

:::krets.net:::

JKMabry
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: out of a sleepy funk
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:16

clever man, then you'd get to see their inadequate peepees. You'd make a clever God

Jason

DarkGarden
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: in media rea
Insane since: Jul 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:17

Stoned people are smart.

They should post more.

Then randomly sterilize themselves to protect the pool.

krets
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: KC, KS
Insane since: Nov 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:19

I was thinking more about the soccer mom's but hey Mabry, whatever floats your boat...

:::krets.net:::

platyjim
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: Fromsville
Insane since: Feb 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:21

unlimited knowledge of some sort.

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:44

1) give pink a brain.

2) smite the infidels.

3) relax by the pool with a very large margarita.



Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 01:45

Sort of like pink's but with a few subtle differences:

1. As long as we could have them with some kind of tasty sauce.
2. I had Pre-Millenium Tension thanks.
3. I'm 100% behind this one though I'm probably thinking of different inmates.
4. Give the Emperor some kind of stealth technology and/or a big gun (I'm in favour of the 'and' now I think about it).
5. Reincarnate Elvis so we can kill him again in an even more embarassing way than last time (add JFK, Red Rum, Lord Lucan and Jim Morrison in there too and I'd be very happy).
6. Add some kind of breathalyser/drug test module to the Asylum (if we could hook it into the sterlising module as per DG's idea then thats good too).

[edit: and I might go for:

7. If God is a He I'd make him a She and vice versa.

Lets be honest there is something wrong and They are utlimately responsible and possibly a little sex change operation might sort things out]

I also quite like the Wales bit but then I'd have nothing to spit at from my local beach so..........

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

sib
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: lala-land
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 02:45

Install an Answering Service here

Thank you for calling on the Assylum

All our Members are busy at the moment. However your mental well being is very important to us and we will answer all requests in the sequence they are recieved.

For Faster service hit the # key for our internal menu:

Schock treatments, press F1

Pill dispensing, press F2

Mental Torture, press F3

Sanity chamber, press F4

To locate a missing member that has been admitted, press F5 then enter his Social securtity #

( If you recieve a negative response, please refresh and and key in the following code 666 )

For reservations for the Assylum , please use the Tilda-(~) Key followed by the numbers 316.

For answers to nagging questions about Dinosaurs, Life, Photoshop and Wacom Tablets, divisions and absolute positioning, please wait until you arrive at the designated Forums for more specifics.

Our computer shows that you have already been zapped today, please surf along and stop by again tomorrow.

Our offices are now closed for the weekend .

If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please complete a google search for emergency and specify what emergency you have.


Thank you for dropping in and have a pleasant day.

I imagine that would cover a weeks worth of work and all the godly powers to get t his all set up and running.

sib






Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 03:22

I refuse to be replaced by a voice mail system. If I had God's powers, I would imbue myself with the ability to administer shock treatments with my bare hands. It would give new meaning to the term "laying on of hands."

In all seriousness, though, God's power without His love and compassion? Well, most likely a majority of the earth's population would be fried to a crisp.

bitdamaged
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: 100101010011 <-- right about here
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 04:22

Make women experience the hell that is a siginficant other PMSing



.:[ Never resist a perfect moment ]:.

georgetwn girl
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: New york. New York
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 05:01

For me it would be lightning as I raise my arms for emphasis when I am angry.. nothing too ostentatious....but before I showed off like that i would feed the hungry.

Everyone would have health insurance.
I would be in harmony with everything on the planet...
There would be no war.
I would host a party for the world....I would expect everyone to show.

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

georgetwn girl
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: New york. New York
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 05:04

P.,S. I would demand suv's drive behind all other vehicles. They would not be allowed to pass.

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 05:13

I don't want to go on about SUVs but I was watching Arnie on TV explaining how much he liked Hummers and I thought it might be interesting to have the butcher's cuts of meat magiced on to his skin - it would be the ultimate expression of beefcake. So that might be something I might do if I had God's powers or sneak Wales onto the Axis of Evil list - I'm undecided

They also showed the ad for the new H2 (big yellow thing) and my word is it huge!! Are people driving around town or going to war??

[edit: Oh and georgetwn girl do you mean that lightning thing doesn't already happen to you? I think Suho1004 needs to up the voltage - eventually you build up quite a charge and given the cheap synthetic carpets, furniture covers, straightjackets, walls, etc. its not suprising their is a lot of problem with discharges around here. vp: the bucket and mop over here please!!]

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

warjournal
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From:
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 05:38

What would I do?
Make people experience a spontaneous orgasm every 2-3 hours.
If that doesn't calm the general angry, hateful state of the planet, I don't know what will.

GrythusDraconis
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: The Astral Plane
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 04-26-2003 06:23

ROTFLMAO!!

If I had GODLY powers... hmmm... I'd make all of the Twilight Zone, Outer Limits, Doctor Who's, Tales from the Darkside shows real.

Oh... and I'd make a holodeck real too. How fun would that make D&D?

GrythusDraconis
"I'm sick of hearing that beauty is only skin-deep. That's deep enough. Who wants an adorable pancreas?" - Unknown

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 09:11
quote:
Wales onto the Axis of Evil list



I agree with that emps, a good way of get rid of the Welsh Assembly


quote:
of stealth technology and/or a big gun



Oh emps, we would have a wild date with that scenerio..........mmmmmmmmmmm

I think i would do one last thing if i had god powers:

Make DL-44 less..............predictable......


Moon Shadow
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Rouen, France
Insane since: Jan 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 12:00

God powers ? Hum the most intelligent answer I came up would be : educate mankind

I will save you from my twisted other thoughts

_________________
Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. -- Frank Herbert

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 15:25

~checks stalker proximity detetcor~

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 15:36

Emps.......Darling.......hunny bunny..........What do you mean? No date?

LMAO........Rofl


But you said yourself the figures don't lie! You took the love test!


[This message has been edited by pink (edited 04-26-2003).]

axleclarkeuk
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: Swansea, Wales, UK
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 15:37

Dont worry Emps, you can have a date with me fella, but NO tongues ok ? Deal ?



[This message has been edited by axleclarkeuk (edited 04-26-2003).]

velvetrose
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: overlooking the bay
Insane since: Apr 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 16:17

i like WJ's answer best.. but what would you do with those who insist on a smoke and a nap afterwards?

Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 16:32

i'd make it so that I'd have those abilities permanently. Then I would probably make world peace, kill Osama, get us to Mars, stop the sun from exploding, blow up a sun in a distant galaxy.

Not in any particular order, of course.

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 16:50

pink: Technically I didn't take the love test you did. I'm also not Emperor I am The Emperor (Emperor just makes it easier to log in and out), however, that only makes matters worse:
www.lovecalculator.com/love.php?name1=the+emperor&name2=pink

However, as we are always on the look out for brood mares to carry the Imperial Seed I'll send my doctors around to assess you but be warned the insemination process of my people is unpleasant and painful - I tend to blame the barbs on the inseminating stalk but the scientists blame the lava-like Seed. Birth is usually fatal and often amusingly explosive.

axleclarkuk: If you are interested the scientists are working on a machine that works on human males too (they have added barbs for nostalgia's sake).

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-26-2003 18:55

GROOVY baby........ Come on down!!!!

P.S. your not putting me off....kiss kiss

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 04-26-2003 23:37

teenageers...

InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Oblivion
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 04-26-2003 23:40

28 year old nerds...

georgetwn girl
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: New york. New York
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 04-27-2003 01:13

Emp: definitely will get my charge...hehe < runs down the hall raises her sleeves and gets ready for the jolt>......That is much better..now I am a force to be reckoned with.....puts on sunglasses.

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

georgetwn girl
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: New york. New York
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 04-27-2003 01:20

Ahhhhh Romance is in the air..... It is Spring..

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

georgetwn girl
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: New york. New York
Insane since: Apr 2003

posted posted 04-27-2003 01:21

WJ...........one word.......mercy.....

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-27-2003 02:00

ummmmmmm Insider + DL-44 try a little older.....

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 04-27-2003 03:24

I think you missed my point pink =)

pink
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: wales
Insane since: Mar 2003

posted posted 04-27-2003 09:32

With you DL-44, i try to.......... (Miss the point that is)

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