Preserved Topic: Why am I sharing this?

ALL I can say is.... the friend that emailed this is brave

Being out numbered here; I thought out of the goodness of my heart, I would share this.



TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH


Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us. We refuse To answer.

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always
more attractive than short hair.
One of the big reasons guys fear getting
married is that married women always cut their hair,
and by then you're stuck with her.

Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
(really really listen to this one)

Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics As navel lint,
the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
of the tides. Let it be.

Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never going to think
of it That way.

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes.

You have too many shoes.

Crying is blackmail.

Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this one:
Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work.
Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!

No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.
Mark Anniversaries on the calendar.

Peeing standing up is more difficult.
We're bound to miss sometimes.

Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
you think we'd be Any good at choosing which pair,
out of thirty, would look good with Your dress?

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
almost every question.

Come to us with a problem only if you want help
solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
(Unless it's Bruce Lee Or some war flick where it
doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying

anyway...)

Check your oil.

It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
take the quiz together.
No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the Ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's genetic.

You can either tell us to do something OR tell us
how to do something but not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
say during commercials.


ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit,not a color.

If it itches, it will be scratched.

Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not
worth the hassle.

And yes it is a guy thing to hold the covers over your head after
and we pass gas to hear you scream for mercy.

Why do we do that in front of you, you ask?
It's a marking our territory thing.(safe answer haha)

What the hell is a doily?



[This message has been edited by Shiiizzzam (edited 01-10-2001).]

Very funny Shii, thanks for sharing. Unfortunately for one of us, (I'm not sure which one) most of that list is true. Alas, that's what makes life fun, the differences between people, especially men and women. I've been married for 16 years, and I'm still figuring stuff out, although I have to be hit over the head with it to get it sometimes. Which leads me to one to add to the list.

If your pregnant, don't stand in front of the mirror holding your tummy, and ask if we think you look fat.

For the men out there who haven't come across this yet the correct answer is:
No dear your not fat your pregnant (trust me on this one)!

I need to add one to that:

Stop kicking me.

(nickname=twItch)(realname=steve)(email=steve@th-inknet.com)(chatname=8520632)(minutiae= whatthefuck)

After 7 years of marital bliss, I have learned a simple truth: there is no correct answer. My wife gets irritated when I don't give here a clear answer, but I would much rather deal with that irritation than deal with the fallout of an incorrect answer!

Navel Lint! I love it! hehehe

I love those! I got that email a while back as well. Here are a couple I came up with...

If you do somehow get us to go shopping, don't ask us how you look in something. You know as well as we do their is no right answer to that question. This goes for the "do these pants make my butt look fat?"

To my sister: if it takes a size 3 to make your butt look fat, thats probably not bad thing. Stop whining!

No you cannot watch me pee or even be in the bathroom during this event. Men are biologically programmed to be unable to "perform" while a female is in close proximity.

Now I know why you aren't married Krest. Women expect you to 'perform' unless you are talking about unrinating. Opps, I guess you were. Sorry cheap dig. You'll understand as you get older.

twitch....I have yet another....

Stop biting me.

Thank You.

cool text, shi, but what does "If it's up, put it need it down." mean (first paragraph)?

tskull@techie.com">
"War is a series of disasters which result in a winner." --Georges Clemenceau
ICQ: 67751342

Women bitch about men leaving the Toilet set up, and thats saying they should learn how to work it, "if its up, put it down"

i think he was commenting more on the grammar of the sentance as opposed to the content.

HA HA F1. Very funny jackass.

My girlfriend always makes fun of me. Calls me "Pee shy". Oh well.

Geeeeesshhh Shiiiiz....
what ever happened to GIRL POWER??? no need to be giving these guys any ideas!

j/k those are too funny!!!

i guess i'm lucky that i toilet-seat-trained my boyfriend at an early point in our relationship.

I've been married almost nine years and I'd like to add two to that list:

1. Leave me the hell alone!
2. Shut the f*ck up!

Actually you could probably combine that into one item:

Shut the f*ck up and leave me alone!

Doilly is a pice of decorative paper tat is placed under plates on a table during dinner or else can be placed under pastries/cakes/treats upon a plate between the surface of the plate and the afore mentioned treat... next Q?

~Vp~

Too funny Shii, I had seen a similar list recently but there were a lot of new ones in yours.
I may have to use that sometime soon (ie give it my wife when she is in a bad mood)
cheers

Damn stupid christmas sig. I thought I'd got rid of that one. Make that the first job when I get home tonight. . .
[This message has been edited by TheTrixter (edited 01-11-2001).]

[This message has been edited by TheTrixter (edited 01-11-2001).]

HaHa @ VP !

I know what one is.... it's also a linen or lace one used on dressers and tables etc

it's just part of the email list

That and the Change your oil made me spit drink ! haha

Timing is everything....and this new email has me rolling !

I *REALLY* love it but can't believe I am posting it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, now that the guys are finished .... I have to stand with my sis'tahs and post this .....

When God was almost done creating man and woman she reached into her bag of abilities and announced that she had two things left, one of which was the ability to pee standing up. "Who wants this?" asked God.

Adam jumped up and down excitedly like a child yelling "me!!! me!!! me!!! I want to be able to write my name in the snow, the sand, pee out the window of a moving car and all over the toilet seat and, above all, have yet another reason to touch myself "

God looked at Eve to see if she was going to argue, eve shrugged nonchalantly and said "let him have it".

"ok then" said God "men can pee standing up, i suppose that leaves these multiple orgasms for us women".


~smirk~

...and yet you were still so jealous that you had to drag us into the hole with you because of the apple thing...

tskull@techie.com">
"War is a series of disasters which result in a winner." --Georges Clemenceau
ICQ: 67751342

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! now THAT is good.
(and my definitely my favorite part of being a woman!

Roy.......I am just loving the revenge

Perhaps You will find this joke (well actually it's partly true!)appropriate in this context!
My father once told me that men are like children, the only difference is the price of their toys!!!

Uh oh, I have a doily on my homepage... does that make me less of a man?

no zox, that makes you a playa

~Babamba