Preserved Topic: Some more Flash 5, and more English... (Page 1 of 1)

Did another Flash 5 (proof read by my mother the linguist) for a project on White Supremecy.

Check it out here. I don't know my grade yet, I have to turn it in tommorow .


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Prying open my third eye.

Your mother "the linguist" missed "Duing 1920's and 1930's..." on the KKK page...

Edit: also, on The Depression page the sentence "Nevertheless, the former slaves were still beaten, they were still living in poverty." is incorrect grammar. It should be "Nevertheless, the former slaves were still beaten; they were still living in poverty."

Other than those mistakes, this is a VAST improvement over your past assignment that you posted here.



[This message has been edited by synax (edited 09-18-2002).]

Well I'll have to smack her a few times.

First off, not quite sure why you needed to use Flash... is it that "making an impression" thing again?

Secondly, no offense to your mother, but it could use a tad more proofreading:

(KKK Page)

"The Klan added more hates to the faction." -maybe not outright wrong, but definitely awkward. How about something like, "The Klan found more targets for their hate, such as Native Americans and Catholics." (that's just an example, incorporating the next sentence.)

"During" is misspelled in the second to last sentence.

A little note about "but" and commas. If the word following "but" is a preposition, adverb, or other such modifier, you need a comma after the "but" as well as before it. Examples:

"African Americans had long suffered in poverty, but, during the Depression, they were not the only ones." (the original lacks a comma after the "but")

"At the time white supremacy had slowed down, but not enough to make a difference in the Black community." (OK here, but "white supremacy had slowed down" is awkward--add "movement")

Sorry for that extraneous comment, but it kind of stuck out. Actually, there's a lot I could say about the text, but those are just a few things. Considering that the presentation is entirely text, though, I don't think I'm being overly picky here, am I?

You said you have to hand it in tomorrow, right? I would go over the text one more time. At the very least, fix the typo ("during," on the KKK page).

Oh, one more thing. I realize that this is a school assignment, and it's not meant for general consumption, but "Cole's White Supremacy Movie" might not be the best title for the page. Imagine someone not knowing what the page is about seeing that title...


[Edit: Wow, that's two posts in while I was writing mine. And yes, I agree--it is a vast improvement. ]



Cell 270

[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 09-18-2002).]

Heheh.... I did the title on purpose. Just so people would be attracted to it.

"caucasian race" Someone with a bunch more knowledge than I, might know how to better phrase this because I don't think it's completely accurate. Caucasians are not 'all' white. East Indians, if I'm not mistaken are caucasian. So... while we may know what you *mean*... technical accuracy might be in order too. And of course I could be *completely* mistaken.

I think you have a point, NoJive. Caucasians are definined as those of European, North African, or southwest Asian descent. You might want to rethink that definition, InSiDeR.

"They declared themselves to be non-political but contradictorily, they had much political influence in some states."

How about:

"They declared themselves to be non-political, however, they had much political influence in some states."

Even better:

"Although they declared themselves to be non-political, they had much political influence in some states."

Personally, though, I would write it like this:

"Although they claimed to be non-political, they had much political influence in some states."

[Edit: I almost forgot. This is something I've been wondering about since the beginning of the thread, but why the scare quotes around "linguist"--do you mean that your mother passes herself off as a linguist, but she's really not, or that you call her a linguist because of her language abilities?]

[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 09-18-2002).]

OK some thoughts:

1. A school assignment with popup ads Its a sign of the times clearly.

2. Those rollovers on the main page disappear (or as good as wit my monitor settings) when you move the mouseover which is a bad idea.

3. People are right about your use of Caucasian - in these settings (although it is also wildly inaccurate) you'd be more advised to use Aryan (possibly even Nordic but Aryan is the one I'd go for).

4. Its a little empty - whats the point of using Flash if you can't throw in a little bit of multimedia and there are plenty of strong images out there which would spice things up.

Overall its OK but there doesn't seem much to enage the viewer or anything - it depends on what your remit is but if you were going to be making a poster for the wall then you'd try and mix in images as well as having your points trimmed down to bullets or short paragraphs and you might want to consider something like that.

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Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Yes, that was exactly my first impression: why bother using Flash if you're just going to do something that could be accomplished with HTML and CSS (and in better fashion, in my opinion)? Inquiring minds want to know.

Maybe he doesn't know HTML and CSS very well? What's the big deal? He did it in Flash; it's not like that's the most gross misuse of Flash any of us have ever seen.

I would have liked to see the syllabus so I would have known what the objectives of the project were before I looked at it.

Next time, try doing it with a couple days to spare so you have time to actually use some of the good suggestions you're getting here.

Ok some of you don't understand this.

MY PROJECT IS NOT ONLINE

I don't open a browser from our schools computer and type the adress in, I burned the original copy to a CD.
I just posted it here to show you what I did for school, and for some opinions because I plan on doing this a lot.


That set aside....

I do know HTML pretty well, and I know a good deal of javascript, some perl, and a tad bit of CGI.

But as I said, it wasn't an online project....

Most people use "Power Point," projects, and I say the hell with that shit, I am making flash .

BTW I got a 99%, the only thing was the "Duing," well atleast thats the only one she cought...

But thanks for the input though.


_____________________
Prying open my third eye.

Congratulations with the 99%


_________________________
Anyone who has lost track of time when using a computer knows the propensity to dream, the urge to make dreams come true and the tendency to miss lunch.
- copied from the wall of cell 408 -

ty =)


_____________________
Prying open my third eye.

yeah, congrats on the good grade.

And, no, krets, there was no big deal, I was just curious. I asked questions and InSiDeR never answered them. That's all.

And what questions were these? And I am not going to answer the "Why do you call your mother a lingist," one for personal reasons.

I'd heard she was a cunning l.......

Ah never mind

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Emps

FAQs: Emperor

quote:

---

And what questions were these?

---

Well, the question I asked in my first post was "Why use Flash for something so simple?"

quote:

---

And I am not going to answer the "Why do you call your mother a lingist," one for personal reasons.

---

Um, OK. I didn't realize that was such a personal issue. But you misunderstood the question--it wasn't "Why do you call you mother a linguist," it was "Why did you put scare quotes around 'linguist.'" I was just curious, that's all, and scare quotes happen to be one of my pet peeves. But if you don't feel comfortable answering the question, I can respect that.

Anyway, this is getting a tad silly. I was just responding to krets, who asked "what's the big deal?" Don't read too much into it.

I think we're just looking for excuses to be picky =)

(BTW: Insider, if you don't know, HTML pages can be created and viewed offline, even off of CDs. I'm not sure why you stressed that it wasn't online.)

What, me, picky? Never! And how dare you say such a thing.

*cough*

And, um, yeah, I was going to mention that about the offline thing, but I didn't want to be *cough* picky...

Ahhh, slime yes I know that very well.... But my teachers won't allow me to make a webpage... It's something about my damn schools safety policy, that and a website wasn't one of the required presentations we had to do. I did a website on the printing press like in the 6'th grade for a project, but that was my only one, and I was the only one in the class to make a website . Needless to say I got an A on that project....

I think its here.

That was back in my "Tables are the shit," days. Also, take the fact to consideration that the webpage was originally made for 800 x 600 res.