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silence
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: soon to be "the land down under"
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 06-15-2001 14:10

Hey everybody, it's real late right now and I'm stuck watching this infomercial. I'm never buying the book, but I know exactly what it says:

1) Write a book called "Make $$$ using [insert noun here]"
2) Sell it to poor gullible people with nothing better to do at five in the morning
3) Show product testimonies from the .05 % of people who actually made money using your system
4) Write a new book called "Make $$$ using [insert noun here -- different from step 1]
5) goto step 2



I am watching now with a bit of morbid curiousity because I can't help myself.

[parody]
Come one come all! And the kicker is, you can start with no skill at all! Ignore the fact that most internet startups are out of business, because YOU can make money now.

That's right, we'll teach you tricks on how to make popups appear on the screen advertising new products such as Acme Sliced Bread(with even slices!). You'll be able to resize your visitor's browsers, make it difficult for them to close the fullscreen ad now appearing on their monitor, and displays colorful ad banners all over your site.

Order now!!*

*Small 82.9% percent fee paid to Ripoffs, Inc. as the distributor of these items that you sell.

taxon
Neurotic (0) Inmate
Newly admitted
posted posted 06-15-2001 14:16

got a URL or phone number?

silence
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: soon to be "the land down under"
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 06-15-2001 14:17

Yup, here you go taxon.

1-800-468-4277

Enjoy!

taxon
Neurotic (0) Inmate
Newly admitted
posted posted 06-15-2001 14:39

I think that's the wrong number.... the women who answered said something about 'Asian Pleasures'

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 06-15-2001 15:06

You guys kill me, man! silence, you watchin' TV early in the morning or what? Infomercial? Change the friggin channel!! Is it really an 1-800 number for Asian pleasure, Tax? Wish I could call it from germany, but 1-800 numbers don't work. Bummer. Oh, well, I guess I'll have to settle for mr.max's wallpaper. By the way, just hate those people on those infomercials, they're always so hyper and pumped, you know they are either ready for the looney bin, or on drugs. Or maybe both. Uhhhh....say, think that they got hold of some of Shiii's black pills? Somebody been goin' behind Shi's back, sellin' blackies to non-asylumites...??!??

silence
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: soon to be "the land down under"
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 06-15-2001 16:54

Actually, most of those testimonials are actors who are "recreating" actual testimonial letter. Read the fine print.

And I was wondering how long it would take someone to figure out the number was really:
1-800-hot4ass

hehe...you have no idea the things that seem funny at four in the morning.


taxon
Neurotic (0) Inmate
Newly admitted
posted posted 06-15-2001 19:14

Bugimus
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: New California
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 06-15-2001 20:30

As far as I'm concerned

Infomercials = Entertainment

that's about all they're good for.

Jeni
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: 8675309
Insane since: Jul 2000

posted posted 06-15-2001 21:10

I don't know. I love my "Rocket Chef".

Yes, I really do have one.

I promise.

:: j e n i ::
fist-eater

silence
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: soon to be "the land down under"
Insane since: Jan 2001

posted posted 06-15-2001 22:15

Well, I do have to admit that I have a "Food Saver" and it's actually pretty good. That way I can buy steak by the bulk

Jeni
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: 8675309
Insane since: Jul 2000

posted posted 06-15-2001 22:45

mmmm steakk

Bugimus
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: New California
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 06-15-2001 23:18

OK ok ! So I lied... my name is Bugs and I own a Salsa Master.

Radical Rob
Bipolar (III) Inmate

From: Kapolei, Hawaii USA
Insane since: Jun 2001

posted posted 06-16-2001 00:17

Hey you gotta love those Mardi Gras Infomercials or the Dream Girls... seems like everynight after 1am they have 30 minute commercials for them.... makes staying up a little more bearable. (for those of us that are vampires and cant sleep at 1-2am.


hehehe....... www.dreamgirls.com
just kidding....

Allewyn
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Solitary confinement
Insane since: Feb 2001

posted posted 06-19-2001 03:07

Bought a motorized rake when i was 28. Old enough to know better, too drunk to care!
Dream girls...what a hoot.

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