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Emperor
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-13-2005 20:51

Things that make you go urmmmmmmm #6398:

http://www.emanator.demon.co.uk/bigclive/usbshit.htm

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Emperor
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-13-2005 20:54

LOL - the same guy offers lots of other little electronic projects like - making ozone:

http://www.emanator.demon.co.uk/bigclive/ozone.htm

How apt

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

docilebob
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: buttcrack of the midwest
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 05-13-2005 22:21

That`s .........
nice.

docilebob
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: buttcrack of the midwest
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 05-13-2005 22:25

Ooops.

(Edited by docilebob on 05-13-2005 22:26)

DmS
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Sthlm, Sweden
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 05-13-2005 22:47

That's...... odd.
/D

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-

Wes
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: Inside THE BOX
Insane since: May 2000

posted posted 05-14-2005 05:34

I can understand the turd, but what compels people to center all their text?

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 05-14-2005 07:29

You can understand the turd?

That could be problematic.

Of all the 'stupid things people waste their time on' kind of things, this is perhaps the one I can understand least.

that someone would actually

1) do this

2) tell people about it

3) pay for the bandwidth with which to tell people about it

is beyond my ability to comprehend.

I X I
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: beyond the gray sky
Insane since: Apr 2004

posted posted 05-14-2005 08:56

there are several other nifty designs on the home page
thanks for the link



You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today, so stay with me and I'll have it made (Shannon Hoon)

InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Elizabethtown, KY
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 05-14-2005 09:00

DL, have you ever done anything just to see if you could do it? It's his artistic expression, lighten up =).

eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 05-14-2005 22:57

I thought that was what the internet was all about???

Am I wrong? That would change everything!

White Hawk
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: out of nowhere...
Insane since: May 2004

posted posted 05-15-2005 23:48

Tingletron! Life-threatening fun for all the family (inc. pets)!

eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 05-16-2005 00:25

remember kids, some modifications may need to be made to the Tingletron if you are running it in the good old USofA, at a rate of *just* 120 volts.

WeeHa!

DL-44
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: under the bed
Insane since: Feb 2000

posted posted 05-16-2005 04:38
quote:
DL, have you ever done anything just to see if you could do it?



Certainly.

Not once have I felt a need to test my ability to make a fake turd that glows when plugged into my computer.

Emperor
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-16-2005 04:48
quote:
DL-44 said:

Not once have I felt a need to test my ability to make a fake turd that glows when plugged into my computer.



You've never lived!!!!

The real challenge is to make a fake turd that glows before you've pooed it out.

I've eaten a numbe of glowsticks but am having trouble telling if my excreta is effulgent.

The sun certainly isn't shining out of my ass anyway

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Moth
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: columbus, ohio, usa
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 05-16-2005 06:04
quote:
The real challenge is to make a fake turd that glows before you've pooed it out.



I can honestly say that this concept has absolutely never crossed my mind before now. However, I suppose everybody has to have a hobby.


Life's too short to put up with bad art.

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Mad Librarian

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-16-2005 07:08
quote:
Emperor said:

The real challenge is to make a fake turd that glows before you've pooed it out.



Drinking a quart of grape Kool Aid will turn your crap green. It may not glow, but hey, it's green!

Uh, not that I would know from personal experience or anything.

___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org | Cell 270 | Sig Rotator | the Fellowship of Sup

Wes
Paranoid (IV) Mad Scientist

From: Inside THE BOX
Insane since: May 2000

posted posted 05-16-2005 07:32

Does this call for a new FAQWiki entry?

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Mad Librarian

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-16-2005 10:27

How do I turn my feces different colors? (pre-excretion methods)

[Edit: It's still a rather slim entry. Contributions are welcome.]

___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org | Cell 270 | Sig Rotator | the Fellowship of Sup

(Edited by Suho1004 on 05-16-2005 10:28)

Blaise
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: London
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 05-16-2005 12:33

Oh my :O

Blaise
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: London
Insane since: Jun 2003

posted posted 05-16-2005 12:46

Oh my :O

White Hawk
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: out of nowhere...
Insane since: May 2004

posted posted 05-16-2005 15:14
quote:
The real challenge is to make a fake turd that glows before you've pooed it out.

I've eaten a numbe of glowsticks but am having trouble telling if my excreta is effulgent.

The sun certainly isn't shining out of my ass anyway



ROFL - I think I just ruptured a lung!


I hear that copious quantities of beetroot can turn urine blood-red...

==I don't believe it! Somebody stole my sig!!==

Emperor
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-16-2005 16:38

I'm impressed by the suggestions in the sub entry:

Hmmm...

Can I take time to state that while ingesting car paint, phosphorous or sulphur may indeed make one's bodily waste odd colours the only person to find this out would not be you happily inspecting your droppings but the guy performing your post mortem.

Just a thought.

Some other ideas:

1. Some strong antibiotics can turn your poo green.

2. A barium meal can give some startling white jobbies.

3. Eat a curry preferably one with strong reds colours in (some of the more nuclear tikka dishes form the cheaper restaurants score highly in these stakes) - not only will your dung by a dazzling red colour but your bunghole will probably match it (in the manner of the start of Bonanza or the Japanese flag). Only recommended if you have a toilet where no one can hear you crying out from pain.

4. For comic effect enemas with food colouring might help you produce something that would make the madical establishment scratch their heads. For example using purple would get you a week in hospital and some unpleasantly invasive medical procedures (so I'm told).

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

DmS
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Sthlm, Sweden
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 05-16-2005 17:03

OMFG.... :O
What has become of this place....

Methinks we need a new ward dedicated to these poor glow-aspiring feces (sorry, faces...).

/D

{cell 260} {Blog}
-{ ?There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence. - Jeremy S. Anderson" }-

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Mad Librarian

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-17-2005 03:13

Ha ha! He called me a cretin! Oh, my sides hurt from laughter!

___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org | Cell 270 | Sig Rotator | the Fellowship of Sup

Emperor
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-17-2005 03:34
quote:
Suho1004 said:

Ha ha! He called me a cretin! Oh, my sides hurt from laughter!



Perhaps he heard you were French and was calling you Chretien? Easy mistake to make Frenchie McFrench!!

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org | Justice for Pat Richard | FAQs: Emperor | Site Reviews | Reception Room

if I went 'round saying I was an Emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!

Moth
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: columbus, ohio, usa
Insane since: Jul 2002

posted posted 05-17-2005 06:39

A FAQWiki on how to turn your feces different colors?!!!

Oh my god, my sides hurt...


Life's too short to put up with bad art.

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Mad Librarian

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-17-2005 06:46
quote:
Emperor said:

Perhaps he heard you were French and was calling you Chretien? Easy mistake to make Frenchie McFrench!!



You are a dead man. There are not words enough in the English language to describe how dead you are. Say hi to the hopping corpses for me... when you join their ranks.

___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org | Cell 270 | Sig Rotator | the Fellowship of Sup

White Hawk
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: out of nowhere...
Insane since: May 2004

posted posted 05-18-2005 02:50

Infoblurt Incoming:

This is what I managed to find on the most common medical/dietry causes for colour change. I really have no idea why I went looking. In fact, I'm rather embarrassed about it. I'd really rather you stopped looking at me like that now. Please, you're making me feel uncomfortable... I'll just get my coat...

Red/Maroon:
Haematochezia (blood - haemorrhoids, or from large intestine), red gelatin, red Kool-Aid, cranberries, red cereals, tomato juice, tomato soup, beets, red medicines.

Black:
Melena (blood - from upper intestinal tract, or from stomach), iron supplements, bismuth (e.g. Pepto-Bismol), licorice, cigarette ashes, charcoal, Oreo cookies, grape juice.

Green:
Bile (incompletely broken-down due to fast food transit, such as with diarrhoea), green gelatin, iron, spinach (or other green, leafy vegetables), breast-feeding in infants, fluid-only/intravenous diet due to illness.

Pale/grey:
Lack of bile (i.e. bile-duct obstruction), some antidiarrhoea drugs (e.g. Kaopectate) in large doses.

Yellow/yellow-white:
Excess fat in stool (e.g. malabsorption disorder), aluminum hydroxide (antacids), excessive milk, hepatitis, gluten protein (i.e. Celiac disease).


I can't help wondering if a massive dose of antidiarrhoea drugs followed by alternating doses of food colour might produce a pretty rainbow?

==I don't believe it! Somebody stole my sig!!==

I X I
Paranoid (IV) Inmate

From: beyond the gray sky
Insane since: Apr 2004

posted posted 05-18-2005 06:14

if only this discussion had come around before my report in technical writing was due



I focus on the pain; The only thing that's real (Trent Reznor)

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Mad Librarian

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-18-2005 09:20

Excellent information, White Hawk. See? I knew something useful would come of this thread!

___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org | Cell 270 | Sig Rotator | the Fellowship of Sup

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