Topic awaiting preservation: Tiger Woods (Page 1 of 1)

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food." "Tiger wouldn't do that!" She claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "What are you doing?" She asks. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to call room service to get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that." Again she claims.

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a third time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife a third time. When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole!"
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QUOTATION: "If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out."



(Edited by Xpirex on 05-25-2005 13:36)

:D

(Edited by WebShaman on 05-25-2005 13:56)

women are so demanding nowadays! :o

Lol, thats a good un.

Recently a 'Husband Shopping Centre' opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; If you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.
A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands...

First Floor
The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went.

Second Floor
The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, said the ladies. "But, I wonder what's further up?"

Third Floor
This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework. " Wow!" Said the women. "Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And up they went.

Fourth Floor
This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth Floor
The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please.