Topic awaiting preservation: When I become uberlord of planet earth I will... (Page 1 of 1)

Make it a capital offence to buy a sports car and drive it like a family station wagon.

Let lose with your fantasies of absolute power fellow inmates.

---

http://wulfius-khan.deviantart.com/
http://www.users.bigpond.net.au/wulfius/

Ban TV companies from...

1. showing clips from next weeks episode immediately after the current episode
2. increasing the volume on adverts

I'm not sure which is more annoying.

... make it a capital offence to buy a station wagon and drive it like a sports car.

(And to be fair, the TV stations don't increase the volume on the commercials. Those are usually locally produced commercials that have been mixed badly.)

When I become Uberlord of the Planet, I will...

Create a cartoon TV channel for adults. There are adult cartoons being shown, but they are on too many different channels. Cartoon Network has Adult Swim, Action channel has AniMidnight - no more I say! Consolidate it all into a 24/7 format on its own channel.

If it is a foreign 'toon, like from Japan, then translating will remain true to the original script - either dubbed or subbed. Celebrity voices will not be arbitrary - the voice must fit the role. Shower scenes will remain intact. As a matter of fact, all scenes will remain intact. Butchers be gone! Commercials will also be of an adult nature - no sugar bomb cereal or cuddly toy commercials.

There will be "blurbs of bonus footage". For example,
- Batman giggling while putting some serious broken-bone hurt on folks
- Beavis and Butthead will cuss and swear
- Gargamel actually catches, cooks, and eats a few; Azriel will maime and play with his food like a good little kitty
- Yogi gets caught mauling picnickers and playing puppets with the bodies
- Clark ripping off Oliver's arm (I don't think this is how it happened, but it would still be cool)
- Kevin adjusting himself and sweating when talking to Nazz
- Rolf zipping up his fly at bizarre moments
- Freakazoid dies a horrible death at the hands of the Warner Brothers and Warner Sister

Almost forgot -
Charlie's Angels will be made into an animated series starring Hello Nurse, Ms. Bellum, and Jessica Rabbit.


[This message has been edited by warjournal (edited 04-01-2004).]

Oooh... this is a good one, yes.

When I am Grand Poobah of the Planet, I will:

1) Equip all traffic lights with machine guns, replacing the standard traffic cameras. This way, when people run red lights, they don't get a ticket, they get turned into Swiss cheese. (As a bonus, this would help relieve overcrowding in Seoul, most likely reducing the population by at least 50%.)

2) Make world leaders settle disputes with games of rock, paper and scissor, rather than with bombs.

3) Build the largest, most advanced shock therapy center in the world, utilizing a power grid large enough to power most of the Third World.

Um, that's just for starters, of course.


___________________________
Suho: www.liminality.org

When I become uberlord of planet earth I will...

Oh hold on I am already. Carry on earthman.

___________________
Emps

The Emperor dot org

My first act would be forcing Emperor to wear pants at all times.

Pink ones with little bunny rabbits printed on them.

When I am Supreme Empress of the Universe I will:

1) Restrict Driver's License issuance to only those people who can pass an incredibly thorough common sense exam - those who fail will be sacrificed to the Gods of the Volcano.

2) Require auto mechanics and car salesmen to be implanted with an electric shock devices which will deliver a charge worthy of Master Suho's therapy room every time they try to pull one over on a customer.

3) Banish all currencies and magically gift all people with exactly what they need to be comfortable and happy (whether they know what that is or not).

4) ... and I'll echo Suho's idea for solving political disputes... why mess with perfection?

... for starters!

(I like this game!)

i would force michael to bring back taxon.

The Evil Overlord List


Code - CGI - links - DHTML - Javascript - Perl - programming - Magic - http://www.twistedport.com
ICQ: 67751342

When I become Uberlord of the Planet, I will:

- start my conquering of the Universe, the Infinity and Beyond !!

-Ban from the universe anyone caught posting a "You have been recruited" site URL.
-Make "last mile" technologies actually delever broadband to the last mile.
-Free Nachos for everyone.
-The higher the wages, the harder you have to work. (eg) CEO gets handed a shovel while minimum wage gets a chair.
-Make DrPepper and Sweet Tea the only allowed beverages. Water is fine.
-Change welfare so that the people getting it have to work for local governments. (Wash gov vehicles, pick up road trash ect...)


The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. --Groucho Marx

My first act after I become the undisputed dictator of the planet will be to ban ALL alarm clocks from all television advertisements.



[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 04-04-2004).]

When I am the Alpha of the human pack... I would...

Ban all stupid warnings on all packaging! You know the warnings ... 'Dont use this hairdryer while using the bathtub.' Ones like that. Just let nature take it's course and weed out the stupid.

I hear that, Raptor, but for me it's crying babies.
Put the little one to bed, Woman will be watching some show with crying kids, and I'm getting up every 5 minutes to check on ours. I hate that.
Ringing cellular phones should be banned as well.

As a condition of employment I would make it compulsory for the directors of every multinational company who profit from the sweat shops of the world, spend 6 months working in them.
On the TV theme, I googled this which I thought would be of interest Final Report on the investigation into the loudness of advertisements on commercial television
I would also ban weather reporters constantly apologising for bad weather.

:::tao::: ::cell::

Well, I give you guys credit for humanitarian instincts. If I were uberlord of the earth, I'd probably just delegate all the responsibility, and while away my days in the Bahamas with my harem. (First step: get a harem.)

Cell 1250 :: alanmacdougall.com :: Illustrator tips

Some very telling responses people.

My respect for the collective Asylum has increased slightly


---

http://wulfius-khan.deviantart.com/
http://www.users.bigpond.net.au/wulfius/

And you have no idea just how much that means to us.

^^ hehe.
I would take all the people in my life that treated me badly, and make them all die slow, painful deaths.
Then I`d do auditons for the Uberlord Dancers.
Get one of those really big TVs.
And then I can pencil you in for a talk about world peace and justice and stuff.

I would invade China and Japan and make all the Chinese people work on Japanese robot-producing companies. Make a sh*tload of robots of all sorts so that they would replace humans at all jobs (they'd be solar-powered). That accomplished I'd sit back and watch those dancer auditions.

Crush the insurrectionists! Invent and market conscience and decency as a product. Educate, educate, educate. End all the bad stuff. Then I will retire to my own personal island and get to those dancer auditions. Priorities people.

Ramasax

If I were King of Everything, I'd probably do the following:

*Ban advertising.
*Ban reality TV.
*Ban

*Ban smoking.

*gasp*

...you'd be quite the evil despot, wouldn't you?


Code - CGI - links - DHTML - Javascript - Perl - programming - Magic - http://www.twistedport.com
ICQ: 67751342

And when threads colide we get things like this:



Justice 4 Pat Richard

^Hah! Classic!

I just thought of a neat idea on my way home from the gym this morning. Not sure if this is really an uberlord-level idea, but I think it would be a good idea to impose quotas on the amount of times you can use your klaxon (that's what we call car horns in Korea) in a month. This would be a built-in feature, and once you reach your quota your klaxon is automatically disabled. Anyone caught tampering with the disabling feature would suffer a heavy fine. What if you get into an accident because your klaxon is disabled? Tough luck--if you think the klaxon would have prevented the accident, you were driving recklessly (or at the very least, weren't driving defensively).

I think it would make people think twice before using their klaxons as sonic middle fingers, rather than for their intended use.

I would get rid of Day Light Savings.
I used to work 3rd shift and it would wreak havoc on our work schedule.
Also, kids don't adjust to "clock time" very well. Again, more havoc.

^Agreed... I think it's kind of silly, actually. We don't do DST here in Korea, and no one seems to have any problems without it.