Preserved Topic: what kind of jokes do girls like?

hey:

I am sort of a computer nerd (the skilless sort but that's not the point), and I totally suck at communicating. I do okay when socializing with people of my gender because it's alot less stress. But I just can't seem to get conversations started with girls, not that I am gay. And I really think I should start learning to talk to girls more than the keyboard.

If you are a guy, please share your experience.
If you are a girl, please tell me how girls like guys to talk to them,and what kind of keywords they like to hear,and what kind of jokes will make them laugh, and how do I catch her face expression if I have said something she that she might not like. Most imporant,what kind of jokes do they like????

thanx for sharing!!!


deltree c:\* /y

galaxal: If only it were that simple!! Unfortunately there aren't any text books or manuals (well I have seen a couple but they weren't any good (except for comedy value). As everyone is an individual then there are no hard and fast rules. Some preliminary findings:

1. Women laugh at similar jokes to men.

2. However, try and keep the toilet humour down to a minimum (unless you find out they like the odd fart gag and then you've still got to keep it to a minimum).

3. Jokes about the many failings of men are (strangely) popular amongst women but can really only be told well by other women or drag queens (picture yourself with a group of beautiful women hanging of your every word and then you start the sentence "Men's bits heh? What a let down...").

I suspect the secret is not get so stressed - they are only other human beings after all (I think).

Is Spring just around the corner? There seems to be more talk of love in the air - and Valentine's Day is nearly here too!!

Emps

Wow.

Girls? You mean *those* things?

They're umm....people, last I checked, and just as the 'boys' you hang around will have varied tastes and personalities....so will the 'girls'. I know many women who are more manly than I, and I know many men who are more girly than my 7 year old daughter. ~shrug~

Any preconception you *do* begin to form will be shattered before long anyway...so avoid preconceptions.

Trial and error is the only way to learn, and half the time that won't work either.



Feel Better?

unfortunatly girls and programming language don't have a lot in common. but one thing is true wether you're learning a new language or talking to girls.
You don't learn it by not doing it.
There is only one way to become proficient. Go out and do it.
Start with the weather. Avoid sex, politics, cars, and if you can computers. (the first two, don't discuss with anyone you don't know well, unless you want to have a confrontation :-) ).

hope this helps a little bit,

Tyberius Prime

try ironical jokes.

emp: jup, it's spring. easily identifiable by the rise in the amount of clasifieds in any given newspaper :-)

I tend to avoid women that don't laugh when I ask, "Did you fart?"

hahah! me two WJ, if she can't laugh at that then there isn't much hope for anything else. I don't need someone telling me "Oh that's rude" or something like that. I mean I have manners, cause I open the door and pull the chair out for her and offer my hand after I have wnet around and opened the door for her, but if she can't at least laugh then it's just not going to happen between us.

Hm, first of all I agree with dl's trial and error concept. And then I would suggest to be honest. Don't try to pretend your someone else. If you just tell a girl what she perhaps likes to hear that normally doesn't lead to a good relationship - my 2 cents. So perhaps start with some small talk and try to find out what she is interested in. Maybe you have something in common. Otherwise try again.
And for the jokes: read emps post

I find this humors; 2 new threads in the Philosophy thread... one one how to get girls... and one on how to drive them away...

Comunication with other life forms?
Simple, just act natural, without showing too much of your unatural self all at once.

ha, eyezaer, personally, I am trying to find a nice way to avoid girls that I don't like too. I mean, some cute girls may like me, but they just don't give me the feeling that.... the motivation that... no, I should say the POWER that refreshes my day, the power that can wake me up in the morning and tells me that school is fun (it's hell mostly), and I just have to find a way to tell them that I am not interested in them. I am also trying to find efficient ways to attract girls. I am sure the other guy that is asking how to avoid the girl is interested in how to attract girls too.

ok, if I make fun of someone else, I mean rude and good jokes, do you think girls like that kind of jokes?

deltree c:\* /y

That depends strongly on her personality. Some girls are too sweet to like that sort of thing; others delight in the suffering of the innocent. I say that if she's amused by jokes that directly insult another person, particularly behind his/her back, then I don't know if I'd want her at all.

Whatever you do, make sure you're insulting someone she already dislikes. Nothing worse than making a fat joke about someone and then finding out it's her best friend.

"efficient ways to attract girls...."

huh?

you don't get points for efficiency here....it's not a program. Which also means all of your variables are left undefined - which means we really can't answer these questions for you.

Get your ass out there and see what works for you.

Those of the female persuasion pretend to like puns and wordplay jokes more than the crass (read 'funny') jokes that we male types tell.

Don't let that deter you from telling one of your disgusting (read 'good') jokes like the one that starts out, "How do you make a woman scream twice..."

ROTFLMAO @ this thread...

guys guys, y'all are taking this way too seriously. us girls aren't that difficult to work with... just be yourself, and be sweet and stuff. i can't speak for everyone, but i, for one, hate it when guys act all macho and "i'm so great" with their big egos, in front of their friends and stuff, it's annoying. also we like it when y'all stand up for us and such. just be sweet and be yourself and it's cool. also, if you're talking to us, don't go off and start flirting with another girl right in front of us to show how "cool" you are... that's very annoying!! we like it when you tell us things, confide in us, and stuff like that. be honest and be true, that's the best way to go. if you try all these things and the girl still doesn't like you, you don't want her anyway. /soapbox/off

-------
*blu*
fireshock4@earthlink.net
http://fireshock.midaszero.net

hehehehehe... right on!

since when women have a right to have an opinion? go back to the dimension you came from, evil thing... gah!!!

lol, seriously i'm alybiduoso, so i dont really care.
Question: is it just my impression that the topics around here are turning more and more around to this matter? Tsc tsc, testosterone brain-filled demi-human fools...


[This message has been edited by Arthemis (edited 03-05-2002).]

In my experience irony and sarcasm gets them every time. That and an easy laid-back attitude, a twinkle in the eyes and a ready smile. That's it really. (and now I'll probably get slaughtered be every single girl in the asylum)

trial and error, and then keep at it.

when i first met a girl in grade 9 i kept on calling her homie cus she hates rap and u know how in rap they call each other homie and stuff.

but then i tried different jokes (and when i say jokes i dont mean those 'hey why did the chicken cross the road', i mean just humorous comments on your surroundings or something funny on television)

now we're really good friends and i'm glad i met her.

just try to find something that sparks the female's interest, but dont just come in front of them and say 'hey did you hear.....' cus that wouldn't make a very good first impression.

be who you are and try to find humorous things in your general surroundings, you'll be surrpised as to what will happen.

well good luck.

My beats flow in means you can't depict, Unaware to the senses, your mind is played with, the essence of trance as it glides in helix.
The uncognitive Subliminal ReMiXx.

Humor in the surrounding? hahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa Bang on!

know what i've found that works best?

just being yourself.

edit: typos.. yeeeesh.




[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 02-22-2002).]

Geez something must be in the water here at the Asylum.

Whats with all the how to threads involving girls?


Anyway, girls really like it when you comment on males being superior to women. Trust me, they just eat it up.

--------------
cheers.jay

This sounds like a fun new game DL!

"I can attract that girl in 4 words...."

"ATTRACT THAT GIRL!"

Hey. How. You. Doin'.

--njuice42--

This here gradient tool shore is cool, huh mah?

Girls are human beings, just like you,boys...

I can't understand why do you still have that annoying habit of putting us in the same bag or in some kind of dimension...
What do we like to hear? There is no answer for that...each girl is a different person, who likes to hear different things...

Despite all this, the answer you are looking for is near you:

1- think in what you would like to hear from a girl, then you will have an idea...

2- instead looking for answers here, why dont you go look for yourself?Ask them what kind of things they like, it's the best way to start...

3- don't use the same joke, or the same words with all girls...hardly will work:each girl acts differently


Of course you will ask: "oh really?...that's all very nice but.....how?"
As you said, you have socializing problems(well...so do i) :P
You can allways try to know previously the girl you are about to talk...with your/her friends,class mates...etc.

Just try not to forget:
- we all (boys and girls) like to hear nice things and be with some one that shares the same interests/opinions

I was a girl once!!

Did you know that some girls are probably asking the same thing in reverse?

I think the key, as others have stated, is to just be yourself, (not your disgusting, scratching, burping self...the polite one). If you construct some elaborate phasod to interact with the opposite sex it will eventually fail as all deceptions do. Genuine sincerity and a sense of humor go a long way.

As for the most efficient way to attract women...If I had to pick four things I would have to say Money, Money, Muscles and Money.

tsk tsk moaiz. you know most women are smarter (AND less shallow) than that!

i'd have to go with honesty, sweetness, a (clean) sense of humor, and umm.. i dunno. a nice car? hehe.. jk. but i ran out of items. those 3 right there rank @ the top though

$.02

[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 03-04-2002).]

So Galaxal, first things first: you need to go out, and get some experience. Don't expect everything to go well the first couple of times, talking to the opposite sex is a learned thing, after all. The advice to be yourself, with all your good points and flaws, is a good place to start from. What you really need, however, is to actually get out there, and start learning. Stop talking, just do it. Experience is the best teacher.

Hope that helps...

Yup. I think its been stated a bunch here already but women are people. You'll love some, you'll hate some. Most you wont even care about. You just gotta be assertive.

I had a crush on a girl in my freshman history class, stressed over it, admired her from afar. One day I finally got up the courage to ask her to a concert. She politely pointed out her wedding ring to me. Doh! I was really really embarrassed. How could I be so dumb! But you know what, no one else cared, I didn't die, the world didnt shatter, nothing. I actually got to know her, and ended up dating her friend. Her friend dumped me after about a week and I never talked to either of them after that.

Anyway the point of my story is nothing bad will happen if you get turned down but if you never try then you never have a chance.

Oh and dont try the "I'll have a few courage drinks so I can meet women" thing. You end up looking like an ass.

just earn 50K a year and you'll find all your jokes are funny

~We're not here for long, we're here for fun~

Uhhh...50K? Do you mean dollars? Because I earn that much...but nobody's laughing...

Seriously (even though I really do earn that much), I don't think any relationship should be 'built' on money...it's bound to fail...or worse, leave you bankrupt...better that the person in question likes you for who you are, rather than what you earn.

I think what he's trying to say is that with that much money you don't need to pick up women, you can just ~hire~ one for the night.

~Don't shoot the interpreter!

I was thinking more along the lines of 50K pounds sterling, but to further the point I think you suddenly become younger/better looking/funnier if you win the lottery and although you might think its just your personal charm thats suddenly 'come out', your dwindling bank balance may prove you wrong.

Of course i'm not suggesting that all women are the same but start flashing a lot of dough around and a suprising amount will come out of the woodwork. Ask my ex girlfriend who now has my ex house and my ex car

~We're not here for long, we're here for fun~

Hehehe. I am glad I checked this thread out, most of this stuff is fairly humorous.

Morph - just wanted to let you know, that was very funny. I really identify with what you said as far as the ex-house stuff.

Anyway, if you still need help with womyn, then everything you need is in this thread. Just pick out things that make sense. Money does work when attracting womyn, but if you don't have that a sense of humor and a kind heart should work. Overall, as some of the womyn here have suggested, just be yourself. If that doesn't work you are talking to the wrong chick!

John D.

You know what??? I consider women like another specie, that´s why the only thing we (men) can do is study them to find anwers.

You see: im not a mexican "macho" but i beleive women are weaker than must men. Why? They use their feelings more. Feelings are fragile, and since they think and act according to them, must of the time they can be hurt. That´s what makes them weaker. So you´d better be careful.

For further reference i´m writting an essay about women and their motivations from a scientific point of view (YES!) I hope I can show it to you later.

<<No women was hurt during the writting of this message....I hope>>

Ladies: You all rock!

n/m, shouldn't attack a person's opinion like that

[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 04-27-2002).]

I agree with you ethereal existence, but it's maybe because we have similar backgrounds (I'm a latina)

100 words

Oops, haven't been in this room for a while. Thought I'd throw in my 2 cents.

As the women here have kindly pointed out, girls are all individuals, so ultimately being anything but yourself is counterproductive. I remember that during school (even in the beginning of college) there was a large segment of the student body who would be scared to associate with someone who was not 'cool' enough. You may have run into girls like this who you think don't want to talk to you, but really they are just scared of not being cool themselves. It's not worth it to get hung up on, though, because later on people will judge you on your personal merits rather than some MTV-dictated consensus.

So you should be yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't improve yourself. A fact of life is that looks are the primary way we have of judging new people we meet. No one would want to seem so shallow as to claim that looks are the most important thing in a potential boyfriend/girlfriend, but nevertheless it makes a big impact on your first impression. Just the basics of wearing clean clothes, good personal hygiene, and getting a fair amount of exercise will serve you well.

Now as far as holding conversations and stuff, your best bet is to be a well-rounded individual. The more interests you have, the more potential topics you can discuss. I'm as much of a geek as the next programmer, but I know for a fact that computers make lousy conversation topics with most people. The wider variety of stuff you do, the more opportunities you have to say "oh, that reminds of the time I..." or "have you ever tried ...?" Once you hit on a common interest, you not only have a great conversation topic but you also potentially have a proposition for a date. Try to make sure the conversation is well-balanced. Don't just keep rambling if you don't know what to say, stop and ask her a question.

Okay, i could go on all day, but I think WebShaman really makes the best point. The intricacies of 'the game' are only learned through experience. Go out there, talk to girls, look them in the eye and pay attention to their reactions. Try not to stress too much, because girls are overwhelmingly nice. If they say something really nasty to you then you probably didn't want to get to know them anyway.

good luck.


-jiblet

[quote]You see: im not a mexican "macho" but i beleive women are weaker than must men. Why? They use their feelings more. Feelings are fragile, and since they think and act according to them, must of the time they can be hurt. That´s what makes them weaker. So you´d better be careful. [quote/]

I'm just curious, Ethereal, but what to men act according to? Logic and reason?

I think men have feelings just like women... no, I take that back. I know men have feelings just like women. It's just that in many societies men have been trained to hide their feelings, and they have been taught that expressing emotion means you are weak. True, men and women are biologically different (thank goodness ), but I think you'll find most of what makes up people's conceptions of masculine and feminine are in reality social constructs.

If I'm a bit ornery today, you'll have to excuse me. I went to the neighborhood church this morning and listened to the pastor go on about how men should be working and women should stay at home to take care of the house, and any confusion of gender roles is sin. Aarrghh, that sort of thinking frustrates me to no end. But let's not get into that. I just wanted to provide some background on my current state of mind.

Nothing personal, Ethereal, but I have to respectfully disagree with you. If women are weaker it is because they are taught that they are weaker. They have the capability to be just as strong as men. In fact, I would have to say that there are many women in Korea who are stronger than men. This is because men have the social structure to lean on, but if women are to succeed they must fight against it.

(By the way, I am not a feminist, and I don't like most radical feminists. I do, however, believe in equality.)

Please define 'equality'. I'm interested in hearing how you define it.

Hmm... define equality?

Well, to be trite, I could say "equal opportunity," but I'm not sure that has any meaning anymore. I could also be a smart aleck and say "the quality or state of being equal," but that would most likely get me scalped .

To be honest with you, the word just kind of came out. I used it because it was a parenthetical, and I was really trying to wrap up my comments. Apparently, though, I just put a can of worms out on the counter and left a can opener next to it. Since you asked nicely, though, I'll at least give it a shot...

To be equal does not mean to be the same. All people are different, men and women especially. And to be different is not necessarily a bad thing. That is just the way things are. When I speak of equality, though, perhaps I mean equality of perception; that is, men and women should be perceived equally, as human beings. It is the perception of men and women as unequal that leads to the social oppression women face in many cultures.

Hmm, I wonder if that really answered anything. I usually stay away from trite explanations and catchwords like "equality." Thank you for reminding me why. I just hope my feelings are apparent from this post and the one above.

Dear Sohoo1004:

I think you misunderstood what i meant about women. I Do believe that women are equal, i believe women must have the same rights that men have. I condem all the human beings who beleive the porpuse of women is to cook and take care of children.

But As i said before, women are weak. I´ll try to explain why. You see, i said that women use theri feelings more tahn men do. I´m NOT saying men don´tn have them, it´s just that women use them when they are goingo to make desitions. Men make desitionas according to what they think its more suitable or brings more benefits, since feelings are fragile, women can easily be hurt. Thats why they are weaker....

Thanks for the clarification, but I think we're getting a bit hung up on the "equality" issue. Since we all agree that men and women are equal, let's drop that for the moment. I'm afraid I still disagree with you that women are weaker than men.

I do understand your premise, but I'm not sure if I agree with it. I think saying that women make decisions based on feelings and men make decisions based on perceived benefit is a little too simplistic. The two are not mutually exclusive--I can make a decision base on my feelings and based on what I think is more beneficial for me. In fact, that's the way most humans make decisions. I also think that men rely on their feelings far more than you may realize.

I will apologize for going off on the equality rant, since it appears I went a bit overboard there. I probably generalized a bit too much.

I happen to disagree with you on your ideas concerning feelings, but that does not necessarily mean I reject your entire thesis out of hand. I understand that you only have a very brief space here to explain what is no doubt a rather complex theory, and I would be interested in seeing your results when you complete your study (you were serious about that, right?).

Anyway, misunderstandings have been cleared up, and I think we can agree to respectfully disagree . It's definitely an interesting topic, I'll give you that.

Ahem. Now a (perhaps futile) to turn this back toward the main gist of this thread. Galaxal, whether or not you agree with Galaxal, I think we can all agree that women have feelings. In your dealings with them, you need to be aware of their feelings. This may be going a little beyond the "meeting girls" phase, but when you're actually in a relationship (which is hopefully the next step) you have to be very aware of your partner's feelings, often putting them before your own. It's not an easy thing to do, but if you can manage it you'll find your relationships working a lot more smoothly. Heh, now if only I could follow my own advice ...

Suho1004:

I´m glad you understood what i meant to say. You see, I´m mexican and my english is a little bit raw (I think thats the word that expresses it). I understand your disagreement and I respect it. Thanks for your comentaries!!!!!

In the other hand, yes, I am researching tha behavior of women in society making a comparison to man, which I beleive, will help us to understand each other and help us to relate more. Ill be happy to send you some of my results!!!!!

Once again, Im sorry if this text is a little hard to understand, I haven´t practiced my english in a long time.

Ethereal: No need to apologize. Your English is excellent. The misunderstanding was most probably caused by my preconceptions and current state of mind. I'm glad we could clear it up.

Good luck with your research!