Preserved Topic: Why do people lie? (Page 1 of 2)

Looking back at life in general, ever since man was created, the human race has lied, a lot. All lying has brought have been problems and problems, so I wonder, why do people keep lying? What do you think you're gonna get out of lying?

Lying has never brought "good".... hrmm... dunno 'bout that mate.
Not tryin' to ruffle your feathers here...
Are we calling lying that has a "good" result something like "creative misdirection" or something?... or are we assuming all misdirection is lying... and therefore it is "bad" because all it did was cause problems?

FAQs n' Bits: Michael

What I am simply saying is that lying never brings good. It may bring good to the one who lied, in occations, but the other person is being lied to therefore someone one is gaining something by taking from another. It is a form of stealing, in this occation you are stealing knowleadge or a piece of information for your own gain which is a selfish act. You may get what you want when you lie, but if the truth is revealed you will suffer the consecuences of your selfish act which creates problems. Even if by lying you are doing it for "another person's sake", it is still wrong because you are missguiding them creating a false sense of security which can be shattered at any moment so in the end you are doing the person wrong, not good. I prefer a harsh truth, to a pretty lie, you have to be realistic. So, in conclusion, even if by lying you win, in the end, you don't really win, you are doing the human race wrong. So my question is, if it brings bad things, why do people keep lying? What is the point?

most often because people are selfish. other times because they think they can spare someone undue grief.

quote:

---

they think they can spare someone undue grief

---

Yea... If you had a wife, she was pregnant, depending on who you married would you say 'You like like you have a baby inside you' or 'You look bloated' or 'You like just like any other pregnant women would, only better.' Heart-warming no?

Then we have the selfishness in lying. The innocents, and the ignorance. It all relates to the complexity of people. Lets just wait for Jamie to tell us why people suck . People lie, because they think it makes it easier on them, sometimes it does. I've lied and gotten away with it before, I am sure everyone has once or twice. Being convincing and deceiving are 2 different things and getting away with it isn't an excuse for it being right at all. Because it is wrong.

My take is that this kind of behaviour (as a subset of our wider subterfuge skills) is all part of toolkit for surviving communal living whilst also trying our level best to pass on our DNA as much as possible (Machiavellian behaviour has been obsreved in chimps and probably in other primates and is I suspect pretty universal in all animals.

Its just more obvious in humans.

DL was right on the money - it is about selfishness and the Selfish Gene.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

deeo thought for the day...

maybe it is because they *think* they should be perfect... and they Lie because they dont want to face the fact that they are not perfect.

makes ya go.. hmmm....

                                     

quote:

---

deeo thought for the day ...

---

deeo? , deep*

yes it makes you go hmmm....

I never lie.

Liar!

I always lie

Why do people steal? Why do people hurt other people? Why do people make shows like Jackass?

Human nature, baby. Human beings are basically selfish (as DL and Emps pointed out), and just about every human action is driven by a selfish motive.

i don't lie...i don't have a good enough memory to lie. for me personally, i don't ask someone's opinion unless i really wanna know what they think. if i think i'll get my feelers hurt, i don't ask...also, when someone asks me for my opinion, i make it very clear that, that's exactly what they're goin to get...if ya don't want hurt feelers, then don't ask. i think lying is usless really...it's very disrespectful (aside from being wrong) to lie to someone. that's how i feel about it when someone lies to me...that they didn't have enough respect for me to tell me the truth. telling the truth is much easier..and it helps me sleep better at night

Why we lie? dont we know that human isnt perfect? of course we do know, and we never will be perfect...another point of lying could refer to, when someone doesnt want another person to know something, I wouldnt say it is lying, it just that a person prefares someone else not to know what he thinks or doesnt want someone else to know....we not always lie, we just dont want our mind to be an open book, everyone needs privacy.

[This message has been edited by Ruski (edited 11-18-2002).]

[This message has been edited by Ruski (edited 11-18-2002).]

Well, yea I know people are selfish. What really gets me about other people is when they lie to themselves and they actually belive it. Also when someone is caught after they lied, they blame it on everyone else but themselves. They can't see the error of their ways and in the end they end up alone, in denial. They say they don't need anyone but themselves (another lie) and that everyone else is doing that person wrong (another lie). They fool themselves into a false state of security that is all based on lies. It really pisses me off. Something similar happened to me recently, this person lied to me and this person's friends told me the truth and now the person that lied blames everyone but himself. I know why people lie, I just can't seem to understand how this person can lie to me the way that he did and then blame evryone else and get mad at me. If a person cares so little or doesnt care at all about someone as to lie to them, why would that person be mad when the truth is revelead if the person didnt care enough to tell the truth in the first place?

Ruski, not telling someone absolutley everything is not lying. People do need privacy. But lying would be to tell lets say person A something that you "think" about that person and then to go to person B and contradict everything you said to person A. Thats really being a hypocrit not trying to get privacy so don't mix the two concepts which are totally different.

blinkie, it sounds like this person is more pissed that he got caught. as to why they do it...could be any of a million reasons.
i don't think it's somethin you should dwell on though, it'll end up making you very angry....and disappointed in the human race lol

ah, too late, I'm already disappointed in the human race. As for being angry, not really. I don't let people get me down.

why do ppl tell the truth? now that always confuses me!

Uh, how to answer that one...

Because .

Actually that is a good question, why do we tell the truth? To answer that honestly I would say, because people would rather get the honest more admirable message across than to have the guilt inside knowing you deceived. I guess.

ok, why do ppl feel guilt then?

~VP~ because they think what they are doing is wrong...

but....

WHere does their system for right and wrong come FROM????


::: Is this a trick question btw??? Answer... because I like to sleep! hahah! bleh.:::

[This message has been edited by eyezaer (edited 11-18-2002).]

Being raised by lies.

The system of right and wrong comes from morals, just as you know whatz right to do and and what is not right to do in society because of the laws. The truth is a fact, it is what is real that is why people tell the truth. Thats why people want to know the truth, because they don't want to be fooled. Lies are made up, they are not whatz real.

so... morals are based on the local laws?

or... maybe... Laws are based on Morals?

but are morals not based on what is right and what is wrong? Because if you have not rule for right and wrong, how can you have morals?

I see that I can say, "that is wrong fo me to do because of my morals" but those morals are based on something. Where did it come from?

[This message has been edited by eyezaer (edited 11-18-2002).]

God gave us morals. If you don't belive in God or if by any reason he does not exist, then it is necessary for us to make him up. Because we need rules that tell us whatz right and whatz wrong, and without them, the world would not function. Morals are rules, rules are based on morals. They are teachings, they come from experience. Some people say there is no right and wrong, but there is. It not right and wrong from your point of view, or from your friends point of view but from God's point of view. Therefore, lying still remains wrong.

Perhaps I'm just being cynical, but in general I think that the reasons people lie or tell the truth are the same--ie, people will either lie or tell the truth depending on what better serves their interests at the moment.

Why do people lie to themselves? (in my best Jack Nicholson voice) Because they can't handle the truth! Seriously, though, it's true. People are like electricity--they take the path of least resistance.

I think Suho is closest to the mark...

I think people lie to protect themselves... And to protect others. Don't forget those few people who are willing to sacrifice their honor and honesty to protect someone else. I happen to be one of those people. I admit that we aren't the majority, more's the pity, but we do exist. All lies are born in fear anyway. Fear that you can't handle what happened or that someone else can't handle what happened. The reasons vary but that is the only... ahem... Truth about lies. Fear rules most humans and it blinds us to the good that honesty can bring. just don't fool youself that all lies are bad. True, my sacrifice is bad for me, but is it worse then telling someone the truth when the truth would break them?

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

Good one master shuho....people lie to protect their privacy, people lie they dont want others to know the truth...there is a million reasons and sometimes lying is necessary...for ex.= not to hurt someone, to fool someone when he doesnt deserve to know the truth....and so on....its just part of the life....not everyone deserves to know the truth about something

Because I'm evil, very, very evil.

Muwhahahaha!!!



[This message has been edited by Rooster (edited 11-18-2002).]

Ruski, what Suho meant about that people lie to protect themselves, I don't belive he was talking about privacy. Lying in order to "protect ourselves" is still the selfish act of lying. Of course people lie because they dont want others to know the truth, after all lying is not telling the truth, but what would be the reason for that person to not want other people to know the truth? Are they ashamed of the truth, of the truth about themselves? Everyone deserves to know the truth because the truth is our reality, you have no right to fool someone. Don't do to others what you woulnd't want others to do to you. Tho you represent the perfect example of a lying person, they are selfish bastards. (When you want to protect you privacy, you just don't reveal it to the other people, you just say it's to private or whatever but you don't lie about it, cause then it's wrong)

oh P.S if you were brave enough to do something, why are you not brave enough to tell the truth about it?



[This message has been edited by Blinkie (edited 11-18-2002).]

becouse this is our life and we know what we want to do about it and LYING IS NECESSARY! and I dont want someone else to know about my life.

my life, my privacy, my decision..... boy ruski, aren't you quite self centered. Yes it is our life, we do decide what we want to do with it but when you lie to someone else, its no longer only your life, it's the other person's life as well so you have to stop being self centered at this point. Lying is not neccesary, aren't you catholic? One of the 10 commandments, the 7th I belive, states not to lie. So here hypocricy kicks in again. Anyway, I'm not trying to point any fingers, I know I've lied but I also know it's wrong and when I lie I try to fix it isntead of blamming everyone else and trying to find excuses that point fingers at everyone and everything else but myself. We do decide what we want to tell other people, not telling someone everything about our lifes is not lying, I never did say that. Now, telling other people something that is not true about our lifes then thats wrong. Also lying about our feelings and our thoughts to someone, that is majorly wrong because then you're playing not only with the person's mind but with the person's feelings, and you have no right to do that. You must lie on daily basis to think that lying is neccesary, only someone insecure would say that, only someone ashamed of the truth would say that. Someone who is trying to escape reality and isn't brave enough to face the truth. Lying is still wrong regardless of what you think.

You seem to be looking at this in a very black and white light, Blinkie.

Have you ever looked into the greater good? Actually the more appropriate term would be lesser evil, in this case. I am perfectly willing to lie to someone if telling them the truth would hurt them more than not telling them the truth. I don't like lying, but I like hurting people even less. If it makes them feel better and doesn't hurt anyone but me.... then who's gonna have issues with it? Lying isn't something that should be a standard for communication for obvious reasons but you seem to think that the pain the truth can cause can never outweigh the pain a lie can cause. I just don't think that's true. I think that there are several situations where lies can help a person find their equalibrium and come to terms with what you lied about in their own time. To tell the truth when they weren't ready could well push them over an edge that they were asking for help to avoid.

GrythusDraconis
Prince of Gold - Lord of Dragons

Perhaps I'm just talking about lying in my case only, the lying im refering to is when you lie to someone else on purpouse, as to fool them for ur own gain. Of course if someone says I dunno, "im fat" and that person is your friend you're not gonna say yes you are, but if they are fat your duty is to help them lose weigh because it is unhealthy but also your duty is not to say no your not fat when it is unhealthy because then you are harming them and you are making them belive they are not fat(false sense of security). Therefore, in over all the truth is better than lies(talking general) and I do not like to fool people and make them belive what is not true.

Lying is just wrong...it will always come back and bite you in your bumm.

I have a friend who was fired for leaving a drive in a secure computer. Now she was going to give a pat answer that evaded the truth during interviews..the guys at our work told her this was alright..i said..feck that tell them the truth and let the chips fall..they'll appreciate your honesty..you have folks here in the office that won't bite you... you are in security and we all are only human...so..just tell them the truth. So she goes to two job interviews. One was at the department of Justice and they asked her what happened at her previous work place. Instead of giving the pat answer..she told them the complete truth and told them they could call me and others to verify what had gone on. They didn't call me...they hired her on the spot.

Telling the truth will get you more in the end ...you will reach further than you ever dreamt. She's started work today at the department of justice in DC and will be going further in that postition than her dreams ever imagined.

man could i go off on a tyrade about lying *L*...i've been impacted so much in my life by it..and all i can see is that it does no good..the truth will always shine though because it can't be held back ever.......it will normally burn though anything cloaking it. which is why i'm currently at odds with my ex *LOL*

even today i got an offer to brainstorm a new web business with a couple in ireland and an expat paddy in colorado who does a lot of printer work...oddly the business is for celtic greeting cards...they think i'm great at that one thing...i'm mistified...i'm not that great i don't think...obviously i'm lying to myself though..cause everyone else thinks i'm all that ..which i really don't understand...wait this is another thread...*L*.

ettie

darn it ...i think my post went off into the mists of time...


oops there it is..man that was strange...i need drugs..pills..damn it where are they..nurse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


[This message has been edited by ettie (edited 11-19-2002).]

I couldn't have said it better.... thank you

Blinkie, You wanna know the real reason Y ppl lie?well here it goes..
ppl lie because of the fact of insecurity.we as ppl in general would like the world to be very peachy.hence that is why we lie to make the world seem perfect and make the person you lie to think that you or what ever your taking about is perfect.when you wanna sell something to someone would you tell them the defct inorder to have tem buy it?the answer is no because everybody hate the fact of imperfection.also would you like it if someone told you that you were the ugliest person they ever seen?I believe that you nor anybody would.so this is a perfect time to use a harmless lie to make that person love themselves. I lie inorder to make someone fell special because it is better to feel special then to feel down and lower then nothing.isn't it?

oh man you have no idea the experience i could bring on this conversation...just give me a "what if"
and i'll tell you a "why not"

I'm serious this crap is just dead wrong...(totally opinonated)