Preserved Topic: Your final moments... (Page 3 of 4)

<rusty memory> if I recall correctly, whenever a thread got a bit messy I would break out me mop, janitor style so to speak, kinda stuck since , heh

</rusty memory>

~walks off dragging mop heading towards the East wing~

so are you all dead yet... so we can close this monster thread?

Um, if we jump out of the plane we all die Wile E. Coyote-style deaths, right? You know, where he falls off a cliff, there's a long whistling sound, and then a tiny puff of dust and a bang at the end--and then in the next scene he gets up from his coyote-shaped hole at the bottom...

At least I hope that's the way it works, 'cause the ground's getting awfully close...





What does it mean?

Why didn't I think of that!

*picks up in flight phone and dials 1-800-ACME-INC*
*waits a couple of seconds*
*helicopter flys by flaming decending plane and tosses in a package*
*SB opens package labeled AIR BRAKES*
*opens floor panal and tinkers around for a few moments. Screws and springs flying everywhere*
*pulls hard on lever labeled AIR BRAKES and crosses fingers*

*comes to, wipes drool from corners of the mouth and blinks unknowingly at everyone in the plane*

We're dead?! ALRIGHT! NAKED TIME!

(cause you all knew deep down that someone, somewhere in this thread was getting nekked... hehehe...)

njuice42
icq 957255

No! We're not dead yet! For God's sake man, put your clothes back on!

Oh, the horror, the horror!

Now I know what they mean when they say "a fate worse than death"

*huddles in the corner in a fetal position, rocking back and forth and weeping softly*





What does it mean?

*runs for the door, going to jump out of the plane to escape njuice, but stumbles on the fat lady and finds a bottle of sake under a seat which i quickly grab - gulp, gulp, gulp *

-= Veneficuz =-
"Mundus vult decipi. Ergo decipiatur."

It's okay, everyone... this isn't the first time my nudity has frightened a plane full of people, and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Bon Voyage!

*hurls self, free as a bird (hehe in more ways than one) out of the plane, taking the fat lady with him*

njuice42
icq 957255

*Suddenly, as Schitzoboy pulls on the AIR BRAKES, the plane comes screeching to a halt a mere hundred meters or so from the ground*

*Looking out the open door* Hmm... too bad njuice couldn't have waited a few more seconds...

OK people, rescue crews are on the way! Please remain seated and we'll have you on the ground shortly.

*counterfeitbacon casts Globe of Invulnerability*
*counterfeitbacon casts Slow*
*counterfeitbacon casts Sanctuary*
*counterfeitbacon plays Baldurs Gate II to much*

*WebShaman casts disintigrate on counterfeitbacon* Hehe, I do too.

Yah! Saved by Acme! *waits until plane is a couple of meters above ground, then hops out onto the rather flat njuice42*. Too bad, baby, ya should of waited...oh, well, all's well that ends well...and for christs sake, njuice42, put some clothes on...publicity whore...

*counterfeitbacon casts Power Word: Kill on WebShaman*
*WebShaman makes saving throw*
*counterfeitbacon says: "DAMN!"*


[This message has been edited by counterfeitbacon (edited 05-06-2002).]

Reminds me of a shirt I saw on the net once: "Jesus Saves ... and takes half damage" damn, I shoulda bought that shirt. actually I should be looking into new pants instead

*slowly stands up, dusts self off, looks around...*

At least I'm not the only nudist around here!

*Gleefully holds up a large blue spotted Mumu and grins*

njuice42
icq 957255

Until the fat lady lands *whooomp!* directly on njuice42. She grins sheepishly, looks a bit strange, then says 'Oh, something's stuck to me bum'. Stands up, attempts to see what is clinging to her bum, turns in circles, gets dizzy, and falls down. Yup, any landing that you can walk away from is a good one...

*WebShaman does finger of death on counterfeitbacon* Always loved that spell...just always wondered, which finger...

lol

Somebody pleeeeeaaaase make the fat lady start singing !!!

*struggles for air.... waving hand begins to claw at the fleshy pillows... then stops... and falls limp*

njuice42
icq 957255

*eye watches on surveillance cameras* Well, This has gone as well as could be expected!

. . .

*counterfeitbacon wonders in awe at the amount of posts on this thread*
*counterfeitbacon now realizes that he is pathetic*

Is this a record for number of postings?

There have been longer I'm sure.

Right then now we've survived the obviously fatal crash who fancies nipping down to the pub/bar? There looks to be one just on the other side of that spooky looking misty moor.

~wipes njuice42 from shoes and wanders off~

Emps

God knows I could use a pint right about now...

*staggers off toward the pub with Emps*

Oooh, a Pub! C'mon Njuice42! We're missing all the fun! Whata're ya whinin' about? That's only a flesh wound! *scrapes Njuice42 together* There ya go! Here, peacepipe! *sticks peacepipe in orifice* Toke up! *carooms off towards pub with Njuice puddle*

The fat lady yells from behind 'Hey, love, where are you going? Don't forget me!'

Yeehaw! Asylum Air, the only way to fly! 'The first round is on Emps, since he drank the last drinks trolley dry...'

Man, would be great if we could all get together once a year at a pub somewhere...

*Staggers after the other towards the pub - Hey! Wait for me, I'm not dead yet, I think ?!*


-= Veneficuz =-
"Mundus vult decipi. Ergo decipiatur."

*smoke plumes from many openings as the puddle I now am slithers towards the pub leaving a slime trail... much like a slug...*

I think my wallet is somewhere back there guys, you're picking up the tab, right?

njuice42
icq 957255

Didn't Emps say the drinks were on him? I could've sworn I heard him say that...

[Edit: Nope, that was WebShaman. Eh, good enough for me ]




[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 05-08-2002).]

A peacepipe AND a round of drinks? Shammy you the man!

*asks the bartender for a bottle of Pusser Blue Rum, since money's apparently not an issue *

njuice42
icq 957255

Just to clarify (before I get a tomahawk in my skull), it was WebShaman who said that Emps would be paying for the drinks. Not that it matters much to us, since we're not paying, right?

*sits down at the bar and gestures with a sweeping motion at the bottles stacked against the wall* I'll have a shot of each, and I want 'em lined up in front of me.

*thunk!* Too late!! *Dammit, it's stuck fast...* Braces leg against Suho1004s back...'c'mon guys, help me out here'...*tugs on tomahawk..* 'Oh, yeah, a bottle of Cap'n Morgan for me, please....quit squirming around Suho1004, that's only making it worse...oh, god, no! The fat lady followed us here...quick, do something Njuice42!'

Webshaman releases one hand from tomahawk to take the said bottle, downs about half in one go...'Ahhh, now that's the ticket...want some, Suho1004? *pours a bit in open wound on head* 'That'll kill any germs...now drink up!' Finally manages to remove tomahawk as he hands Suho1004 the bottle...

*tosses back the near-empty bottle of Pussers, rolls up sleeves (wait a sec... I don't have sleeves... I'm goo) and slithers over to the fat lady*

Blob sex warning, peeps, get your drinks down and get something in ya, cause this ain't gonna be pretty.


*hopes VG doesn't come in and mistake him for an ordinary smokin' pile of goo... at least before he's finished...*


njuice42
icq 957255

[This message has been edited by njuice42 (edited 05-08-2002).]

I'm not buying another round if njuice42 keeps doing that.

~wonders who's wallet he has. Rummages through it, wonders who would have a picture of a mop where people usually keep pictures of their loved ones....~

Emps

*accepts the bottle from WebShaman with an unsteady hand as the alcohol slowly trickles directly into his brain*

Hey guysh... I zhink I fund a noo way to git jrunk reeeeeal kwik-like...

*grabs vp's darts and starts tossing them at the fat lady*

Bullzheye!

[Edit: Heh... had to go find the darts ]



[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 05-08-2002).]

Oh, that's really difficult...throwing darts at a fat lady...how could you miss? *Grabs darts, aims, throws* Oh, sorry Njuice42! Didn't see you there. Man, that's gotta hurt! Oh, well, what the hell, Bullseye! *starts on second bottle*

Uhh...Emps? You gonna pay da man? He's starting to look at us funny-like...the nerve...as if straightjackets aren't the current mode...stop sloppin' about, Njuice42! After that jump from the plane, a coupla darts ain't gonna make much of a difference...

Oh yeah? Wul you go an' pour shome alc'ol d'rectly on yer brain and shee how sthraight you kin trow dese zhings...

*steps forward, slips on njuice and lands flat on back, throwing dart into an innocent passerby*

more... alc'ol... on.... brain... puhleeeeeze!

'Oh no! That was Emps! Emps, buddy, talk to me!' Nope, he's out cold...Now who's gonna pay? *rumages thru Emps pockets...ahhh...pays barman* 'Whoah, is vp gonna be mad....that cost a whole lot...slinks away quietly...*

what's the record for number of posts for one topic here?

I think .... just a tad over 200

. . .

~stumbles to feet~

5,000 ..... HORSES ... BARBARA

~collapses~

Gah! shorry, Empzzz...

*passes out in a pool of his own--no, wait, that's njuice*