Topic awaiting preservation: Everything you ever wanted to know about farts

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

And quite possibly some things you didn't.

Safe for work....

:::11oh1:::

quote:

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On average, a person produces about half a liter of fart gas per day, distributed over an average of about fourteen daily farts.

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----| Asylum Quotes

"Beans, beans, the magical fruit!
The more you eat, the more you toot!
The more you toot, the better you feel,
Let's have beans for every meal!"

Hehe...

You what? that must be the Americanised version, you can't polish a turd mate!

"Beans, beans, good for the heart,
the more you eat,
the more you fart!"

Although having said that, I found this perhaps unreliable source...

I've always heard WS's version too.

:::11oh1:::

quote:

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The sounds are produced by vibrations of the anal opening. ... Contrary to a popular misconception, fart noise is not generated by the flapping of the butt cheeks.

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This is a popular misconception? Have any of you thought it was your butt cheeks flapping? What an odd sensation that would be.

Oh, and was anyone daring enough to watch the "close-up video footage"?

in your general direction.

quote:

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At what time of day is a gentleman most likely to fart?
A gentleman is mostly likely to fart first thing in the morning, while in the bathroom. This is known as "morning thunder," and if the gentleman gets good resonance, it can be heard throughout the household.

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That one made me giggle.

Toot, toot
Vegetarian "trumps" can be quite vociferous I've found a little cup of fennel tea or a shot of cider vinegar helps reduce the volume of wind to that of a mouse.
Apparently veggie wind has less offensive odour too, compared to that of a carnivore
Some more things fart related, you didn't realise you wanted to know

:::tao::: ::cell::
"Those who look for monsters should look to it that they do not become monsters.
For when you gaze long into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you"

O HOW DID I LIVE NOT KNOWING THIS VITAL INFORMATION...... oops....leaned on the shift key again...sry

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There Is A Fine Line Between Genius and Insanity... I Have Erased this line

(Edited by INSANEdrive on 02-02-2005 01:55)

(Edited by INSANEdrive on 02-02-2005 02:03)

Wes, I have not seen but i *have* heard farts that undoubtedly had auditory assistance by flappage of the butt cheeks.

And when the heck are they ever going to make that digital smell generator available to the public???