Topic awaiting preservation: what is the most stupid question you've been asked?

Once , while working for a developer just outside of Atlanta, I was laying out foundation for a building with a new crew member. I was becoming upset over the fact that we could never seem to come up with the same measurement two times in a row and asked the new guy what the problem was. Was the length twenty five feet 2 and 5/8 inches or 2 and 3/16 inches?

He stared blankly at me for a moment, examined the tape measure for a bit, then looked back up and asked " Exactly how many eighths would you say are in an inch?"

Without missing a beat, or batting an eye, I told him that there were 10 eighths in an inch, as we had converted to metric back in the '70s.


Ok, let's hear some really good ones...

You gonna eat that?

"How do I get to Chicago?"

This was asked while I was working in a gas station 70 miles south of Minneapolis... (which for those who don't know quite where these locations are, the two places are about 8 hours apart)

"can i borrow a cigarette?"

....like i want it back when you're done with it....

__________________________
Cell 1007::SST

"You awake?"
- What, like I'm going to say "no?"

"Hey, do you plug tires?"
- Asked while I was at a former job, plugging a tire for another customer...

"What do you mean I can't smoke here?"
- Same job. I refused to fill a customer's propane tank until he put out his cigarette.

"Do you like mountain dew?"
- ...

"Do you play guitar?"
- No, I keep two guitars in my room because they look good.

My personal favorite: "What about hockey, do you play that?"
- Nope. I think it's cool to wear a full set of hockey gear around campus.

I could go on forever with more of the same...



[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 05-08-2003).]

"Is that gun real?"

While working the drive-thru at KFC:

"How many pieces of chicken are in a 15 piece bucket?"

Also while working the drive-thru:

*gives order then...* "I'd like that to go please."

:::krets.net:::

My buddy calls me on the phone and says:
"Hey, where are you at?"

"Did you cut your hair?"
-duh, it was so obvious.
"Did you get new shoes?"
-Duh again.

i have a whole list of them right here.





[This message has been edited by reitsma (edited 05-08-2003).]

[This message has been edited by reitsma (edited 05-08-2003).]

^^ HEH

:::krets.net:::

LOL reitsma haha...*wipes tears*

reitsma, you are the both the hard core and the cutting edge. I salute you!

Bwah!

"A whisky on the rocks, please. Oh, could I get some ice in that as well?"

Actually happened when I was working in a bar several years ago. Poor silly guy...

A superadministrator who called up and asked 'How do I logon to my system?'

How in the hell did you get into a position of superadministrator without knowing how to logon to your own system??!!??

Customers that call me up 'Am I by SAP?'...where did you get this number? Crackerjack?

that's the most stupidiest question that I've ever heard...except for mine.

that wasn't funny Reitsma, hahaha.

Oh, I've got two more.

We got these emails to the webmaster mailbox at work with these terrific questions:

"What is the URL to www.spray.se?"
Well, take a wild guess!!

"I can't recieve any emails. What's wrong with my computer?"
This email did not contain any contact imformation besides her email address. If she's right about not being able to recieve emails, it makes it a bit hard to respond to...

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. Now it doesn't
work."
Turned out, the user was playing Lunar Lander and crashed his spaceship.
Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'"
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

f888888 he's a tech. support...
LOL...

When I worked as a telephone operator in college:
"What's the number for 1-800-COLLECT?"

And, although not technically a question:
"Yes, I'd like to make a collect call to my daughter, but I'd like to reverse the charges back to me."

I used to write all these down. I've always mean to create a Web page out of them.

'Are you a man or a woman?'

Variants I've overheard include:

'Mummy is that woman?'
'Well, of course, it... oh shhhhhhhh'

or a favourite:

Guy walks up behind me and asks:
'Have you been served yet love?'

I'd love to have a witty remark like 'No I'm standing here at the bar without a drink for fun - and don't call me love!!' but by the time I've turned my head and opened my mouth to start talking they are already backing away and apologising

etc.

I would have thought the beard and being built like a brick outhouse might be a give away (this side of the Russian womens shotput team) unless the circus was in town and there were an awful lot of bearded ladies around.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Emperor...u sure made Suho's day....im sure right now he is catching a flight over there...

What are you talking about, binary? Just because I have a naked picture of Emps set as my desktop background doesn't mean I'm in love with him... geez.

However, if you were to tell me that you were home alone, wearing silk lingerie, then I would be catching a flight. Stop fighting it, binary. You know you love me.

Should I give him my pills?

Wakkos: Thats probably the stupidest question I've been asked when the him=you

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Him=me, not you......
So, stop taking credits, MY credits :P

ME=WAKKOS=JENI DIFFERENT THAN EMPS

Should I give you the pills?

you=Wakkos=Jeni=Doc != (Emperor | | (Micahel = taxon))

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Should I give you the pills?

I=Shiii=Nurse=Doc != Wakkos

You = Wakkos = Jeni = Me = You != Doc

Pills = Ahhhhhhhhhh

Rubber Pill = Ouch!

and I'm back.....

quote:

---

and I'm back.....

---

Woooooooo - now I can put some clothes back on.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Hmm...there've been so many that are off the charts....to bad it's so hard to remember them now.

hmm...similar to raptor's - "how come I can't smoke on the forklift...we're outside...."
hm, maybe because you're strapped to a propane tank? (this has been a commonly recurring question...not a one time thing...)

the driver of the car in which I was a passenger - "I don't understand why I need to use a blinker....I already know which way I'm turning"

What?

__________________________________________
"Art has to be forgotten. Beauty must be realized."
Piet Mondriaan

"Are you cooking with that stuff that smells like cinnamon again?"

Yes we were useing cinnamon in the panckes.

__________________________
"Show me a sane person and I will cure him for you."-Carl Jung
Eagles may fly high, but beavers don't get sucked into get engines.

I work in the Cashiers Office of a state university:

A student calls our office at 10 minutes to 5 on the final payment deadline:

"What's the latest I can pay this bill?"

Right now...


Bodhi - Cell 617

We have the dumbest servers at work. They'll ring in orders like

"Beef nachos with no beef" --> when we have cheese nachos on the menu...
"Garlic bread with cheese, no cheese" --> again, simply garlic bread...

I figure they're either stupidier than dirt, or just crooked.

"Question?"
Guy I work under starts of with "Question Sib?" He pauses then - looks into the air for a few seconds then asks me the question. Then he carries right on and answers it the way he thinks the answer should be.

Guess that is why he is a manager and gets the big bucks.

sib

I went to the movies this one time with a bunch of friends, and the ticketmaster was a person I knew from school we talked a few times. So I order my ticket and then when she gave us all our tickets she asked me,
"So what movie are you guys going to see?"
Hello I just bought the ticket from you! Sometimes I think people are just her on earth to make a fool of themselves.

BiGCaC

[This message has been edited by BiGCaC (edited 05-09-2003).]

"Does anybody what cartoons here?"

^^heheheh^^

__________________________
Cell 1007::SST

wang - i listed that one already

here's a serious one though - i wasn't asked it myself, but was still around when it was asked.

in a geography lesson - "are these lines of latitude and longitude actually marked on the earth?"

quote:

---

"Does anybody what cartoons here?"

---

LOL, I already knew that it was a mistake..."does anybody watch cartoons here?" who knows? my dad don't.

...another case of 're-read your post before posting your posted post'

..Not really a question so much as an ackward situation-

Guy calls tech support-

Me> Thank you for calling -blah, blah, bullshit, blah- How may I help you?
Guy> My computer's on fire, what should I do?
Me> Put it out..

...or how about the lady who told me she's had internet with us for 30 years and she'd never had any problems with her password... "Really? Thirty years, huh? So, it's kinda an international secret that the birthplace of the internet is NOT, as is populaly believed, Berkley, California, but Hick Mountain, Puerto Rico"...


Code - CGI - links - DHTML - Javascript - Perl - programming - Magic - http://www.twistedport.com
ICQ: 67751342

My personal favorite when I was a bookseller, "Do you work here?" NO, I like wearing bright green aprons with a name tag for the hell of it....

Moth: LOL. I'd get that CONSTANTLY at my previous job (I worked as a station attendant at a local gas station).

"Do you work here?"
- No ma'am. I enjoy wearing jeans in the middle of a 103° summer. I enjoy wearing blue jeans that are now black due to bead sealant, grease, oil, and god knows what chemical *that* was. The hole in the ass of the jeans? You don't want to know what that's for. I *love* wearing shirts that wreak of automobile fluids and propane.



[This message has been edited by Raptor (edited 05-09-2003).]

One time my wife and I were in a grocery store and these two younge girls, maybe 16 walked up to us, one of them holding a bananna, and said...
"Excuse me, could you tell me which of these kinds of condoms are better?"

Her friend was holding up two different brands of condoms... I promptly looked around for the hidden camera and started laughing, while my wife proceeded to explain to them that the one on the left, the unlubricated one would probably be better since some people are alergic to lubrication....






.quotes.

LOL^^^

Raptor- I can totally sympathize. We had to wear navy blue vests at the station that I worked at. I forgot to take mine off one day when I went shopping at the local Wal-Mart.... And was promptly asked by several patrons, "Excuse me, do you work here?" or "Could you tell me where the <insert item here> is?" I just bit my lip and pointed to my nametag that boldly pronouced my true employer... I thought about taking the vest off, but after a while it was just too much fun. (Not entirely unlike going to the Renaissance festival in costume, just to confuse the mundanes...)

You know what's weird? I'm constantly asked if I work "here." Whatever store I'm in, no matter what I'm wearing, with no name tag on, people always think I work there!

I guess I just have that dead-end mouthbreather look.

"How would you like to win an all-expense paid trip to Branson Missouri?!"

*click*

Jason

The Most Stupid Question:

"What is the most stupid question that you've been asked?"



[This message has been edited by Rauthrin (edited 05-09-2003).]

Rauthrin:

I'm pretty sure that in order to be a question, you need to use one of these- '?' .

Heh, I didn't notice that, thanks.

Question: "Do you know where Bray Road is?"
Answer: "Arrr, Your standing on it"

Question: "Where's the brisbane river" I was asked this whilst on a ferry, on the brisbane river.

Question: "How much is the $4 lunch special?" I got this at least twice a day working at a local cafe.

quote:

---

"Arrr, Your standing on it"

---

So, Drac... have you always been a pirate?

Fair thee warned... there be dragons on Fulton Lane, matee!

[This message has been edited by Wangenstein (edited 05-09-2003).]

Stupid questions, like stupid children, need the most attention...

There are no stupid children..... just other people's kids.

I guess I just have that dead-end mouthbreather look.

*falls off chair laughing*


Code - CGI - links - DHTML - Javascript - Perl - programming - Magic - http://www.twistedport.com
ICQ: 67751342

quote:

---

There are no stupid children.....

---

Nope, just lot's of stupid parents.

you got that right.

"Geez...it's cold\warm isnt it?"

"You don't know how paralysing that is, that stare of a blank canvas, which says to the painter: you can't do a thing." - Vincent Van Gogh

when i was 12, i took my 4 year old brother to the park...
idiot: is that your baby?

"Are you really French ?"

No badass, French are a myth told to American babies to make them dream.

_________________
Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken. -- Frank Herbert

quote:

---

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are no stupid children.....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nope, just lot's of stupid parents

---

Then to prove that there is an exception to every....:

quote:

---

you got that right.

---

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

Here is one.... 'Where is the ANY key?' -- I heard that one a few times when I was working at CompUSA



The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH''

Wolfen's Sig Site

^ I always thought that was a joke... that just knocks my faith in humanity down another few notches...

While waiting in the doctors office for eons..finally I was admitted to the inter sanctum...a young nurse started reading through all the possible diseases I may have had. I was answering yes or no. One she asked was if I had ever had prostrate problems? uhm.......what?
I am female. I told her this but still she did not get it........

writes her name down for the future...in case she is in charge of a hospital.

"whenever I find myself on the side of the majority, I pause and reflect. " Mark Twain

Well, technically a woman can have prostrate problems. (Though not as far as I'm concerned.)

Prostate problems, on the other hand...

Wolfen: I never found out why they didn't simply change it to "press a key".

mahjqa: Could it be the makings of a programmers wicked sense of humor... an effort that would usually be wasted on his delusional attempts of digital mind control so that way he could take over the world though the use of simple morons?

[This message has been edited by Wolfen ($p3

Wolfen-
<B>[This message has been edited by Wolfen ($p3

He did. In leetspeak (don´t ask) it says 'spelling error'

When I moved into my 2 story house with a basement my blond sister-in-law asked me where the basement was....I told her it was upstairs.

"Have you done your assignment yet?"
-Like it has only been given to us before that day.
"How do you make the mouse move?"
-move it right, left, down and up. Or maybe check the plug.

[This message has been edited by Yannah (edited 05-14-2003).]

mahjqa: umm.. I am a girl wolfie...

petskull: that is my doing for my own dumbass spelling errors.



The programmer's national anthem is 'AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH''

Wolfen's Sig Site

are you pregnant?
- like im gonna tell her if ever

"...I'd like to think that I'm normal"

Wolfen; Damn, I knew, but I forgot... *kicks self in forehead*

kicks self in forehead?

Jheez!!! I'd like to see that!

*stands in line behind wakky*

For the sake of this thread, the name of the people in question will be altered for privacy reasons.

I have a good friend called Joe Smith, and we usually have to put up with one of the dumbest humans on the planet. Anyway, he was asked this question one day...

"What's your name, Smith?"

Honestly, some people need to remove themselves from the gene pool.

Well, I'm glad someone is willing to stand behind the naked Spaniard...

One of my friends sent me a message on AIM aking how he gets on the internet. (By the way, does AIM work over a LAN?)



[This message has been edited by Rauthrin (edited 05-15-2003).]

"Can you tell me what's wrong with my computer? I opened the Internet and it brought up Nudy Pictures. And my Old Lady came over and slapped me!"
- Question a black guy on the phone asked me while I was working tech support at an ISP job I had for two whole days.....


"If my ass was a three ring circus would you go inside?"
- a Janitor at the elementry school my father went to...


I used to ask my roommate stupid questons all the time when he was on the phone with his girlfriend like:
"Derr do we have any milk?"

to which he would reply "What the hell do you think Leer?"

Eventually he just had a spot on his desk where he wrote "What the hell do you think Leer?" and anytime I'd ask him a stupid question he'd just point to it.




- Face the Present
- AIM: MASKKKK

01001101011000010111001101101011011010110110101101101011

"Can you tell me what's wrong with my computer? I opened the Internet and it brought up Nudy Pictures. And my Old Lady came over and slapped me!"
- Question a black guy on the phone asked me while I was working tech support at an ISP job I had for two whole days.....


....................how did you know he was black?

usually black people have different voices than whit folks. they just sound black, you can tell.

Kevin G:

If you had said 'SOME black people have different voices from SOME white folks..' I would be inclined to agree. As it is, your original statement leads me to believe that you may have been leading a rather isolated life.

Consider broadening your geographical horizons and you could very well be amazed at the things you may hear and see...



[This message has been edited by norm (edited 05-18-2003).]

usually = some

or.... yah?

0926260122

usually=most

or wah?

"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did. Next patient.