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Topic awaiting preservation: Inmate Limericks! (Page 1 of 2) Pages that link to <a href="http://ozoneasylum.com/backlink?for=13858" title="Pages that link to Topic awaiting preservation: Inmate Limericks! (Page 1 of 2)" rel="nofollow" >Topic awaiting preservation: Inmate Limericks! <span class="small">(Page 1 of 2)</span>\

 
eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 06:07

Lets have some more Limericks !!!!!!!!


*cough*

there once was a Man named VogonP.
who once had to drink some poisoned Tea.
It made him a little crazy,
His world became a bit hazy…
And abstract art became his forte

In a drowsy state I wondered the other day,
And I saw something that made me say, Hey Hey.
His sig my eye did catch…
For he has no match
And I knew it was VPs new baybay


vogonpoet
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Mi, USA
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 06:14

*blush*


from yonder came a man called Izzy
who more often made me dizzy
his ps groove is amongst the best
but dont be fooled by his fiery vest

Fire is his passion, his hobby
but pyrotechnics can be very dodgy
has he got flame or two to spare
not likely, cos hes busy with his pairs!

Pairs are Izzy's favourite fruit
Dont steal his, cos hes a brute
ask nicely and I am sure he'll share,
some of that fire and an occassional pair.


(seriously bad vogonpoetry!) ~Vp~

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-29-2002 06:17

Not bad vp, but technically those are rhyming couplets.

I would love to contribute something, but I'm feeling terribly uninspired at the moment and I've got work to do. Maybe something this evening...

[Edit: OK, this just came to me as I was, um, never mind...

The Doc is a wonderful fellow,
Who's usually really quite mellow,
But mess with our heads,
And he'll alter your meds,
And have you crapping bright yellow.

Eh, that was spur of the moment, and sorry for the subject matter, but for some reason limericks tend to lend themselves to this sort of thing. ]



[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 05-29-2002).]

Slime
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Massachusetts, USA
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 06:25

Limericks must have 9, 9, 5, 5, 9 syllables, I believe. Lines with same number of syllables must rhyme with each other. If you want to get really specific, I believe the stresses must be on syllables 2, 5, and 8 of the 9 syllable lines, and on syllable 2 of the 5 syllable lines. I'm not sure if that's all exactly correct.

eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 06:43

Slime, Slime, Slime... shut up and write some rhyming things... that ah... just ryme. (=


Very technical is Slime
We all owe him a Dime
But instead we cut his medicine
And made him sleepy in his headicine
Oh what a crime.


vogonpoet
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Mi, USA
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:00

Slimes coding is the best
but his humour is a test
backend he cant be beat
well not til the Doc turns up the heat

Suho is so very technical
that he forgets how to be acceptable
but as a newbie he seems quite fine
perhaps he splash out and buy the wine?

hehe

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:32

limerick: A short form of comic and usually bawdy verse having five lines of three or two feet and usually rhyming aabba

Technically (*ahem*), the feet should be anapaestic, with three feet in the first, second, and last line, and two feet in the third and fourth lines. This would give us 9-9-6-6-9, with the stresses falling on the third, sixth and ninth syllables in lines 1, 2, and 5, and on the third and sixth in lines 3 and 4. The meter, however, is often far less regular, and I'm not one to crucify someone for less than perfect meter (especially when my meter doesn't fit the bill either!). I have, however, been known to crucify people on occasion for writing rhyming couplets.

(Incidentally, no limerick starting with "There once was a..." fits the traditional meter--so I say screw traditional meter )

To VP with love:

There once was a bloke named VP,
who wrote some unique poetry,
Though he was a great sport,
His limericks stopped short...

vogonpoet
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Mi, USA
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:35

*cough* Suho *cough*

courtesy of Emps
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/alabaster/A302374

Slime
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: Massachusetts, USA
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:44

I thought I had told vogonpoet
his lim'ricks were wrong - and you know it
But he didn't care
Didn't think it was fair
and made more incorrect ones below it!

=)

vogonpoet
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Mi, USA
Insane since: Aug 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:48

roflrofl Slime! touchez!

eyezaer
Lunatic (VI) Mad Scientist

From: the Psychiatric Ward
Insane since: Sep 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:56

HAHAHa... im tearing up over here... heheheeheeeheehee....

man... hah.... Good one 1004!

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 07:58

There once was a Doc from Nantuckit
who found some slime in a bucket.
as he bent down to say,
Oh slime, good day,
he slipped, and fell in the muck-it...

Came the fellow VP from top
who immediately got out his mop.
He said with a flair
Oh my, a mess, I swear.
Then proceeded to mop up the gop...



Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-29-2002 08:06

VP: Thanks for the link, but I'm well aware of what vogon poetry is... and I hate to burst your bubble, my friend, but you've got a ways to go before you reach that level of hideousness. Your little rhyming couplets barely had me squirming in my seat!

Izzay: glad to see someone appreciates my work *sniff*

And WS joins the fray!

[Edit: Oh yeah, I'm trying to get some work done here, so if you guys wouldn't mind keeping it down... I keep finding myself coming back in to see what all the ruckus is about ]



[This message has been edited by Suho1004 (edited 05-29-2002).]

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 09:27

Hehe...I see suho is concious again...hmmmm...should I, or should I not? Whoops! Silly fingers....bye-bye, suho...WHOOOOSH!

There once was a person named suho
that at the touch of a button went boo-hoo.
he hit a corner and a wall
and that's about all
and we all said the same toodlyhoo!

kretsminky
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: A little lower... lower... ahhhhhh, thats the spot
Insane since: Jun 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 14:46

Once lived a man named Liotta
He survived off only fritata
Resembling a 'Shaman
The taunts were quite common
Get a facelift he might surely oughta

There once was a man named VP
He lived in a purple tee-pee
His hair was all shaggy
His eyes were so baggy
He always looked awfully creepy

For ages an inmate named Slime
Posted silly rules all the time
Although we all know 'em
Its a bitch to show him
That he breaks his own rules all the time

There once was a doctor named Doyle
Who only prescribed castor oil
He said with shagrin
As he wiped off Slime's chin
"Begone! With your rules I shan't toil!"

From England comes a loonie called Emps
Who scoffs at these non-standard simps
"Your table's agape!"
"It breaks in Netscape!"
"You Dreamweaver cronies are wimps!"


[This message has been edited by kretsminky (edited 05-29-2002).]

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 14:52

There was a tall fella called krets,
Who took on ludicrous bets.
He threw and otter
at Ray Liotta
and was left with terrible debts.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 14:53

Lol...

There once was a kretsminky
whose clones were quite stinky.
Then along came wakky
and had a quick snacky
and left krets there with a winky.

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 14:54

There once was a doctor named Ozone
who decided he needed a home.
It was filled to the rafters
with insane laughters
'but its fun' he said 'I can't moan'.

A man called Suho1004,
once knocked at the Asylum door,
'get in here
you man from Korea'
and he was never heard of no more.



[This message has been edited by Emperor (edited 05-29-2002).]

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 15:26

There once was a man named Emps
who looked down on everyone like shrimps
'I'm Ming' he said,
'The King', and his head
was bigger than the Goodyear blimps!



[This message has been edited by WebShaman (edited 05-29-2002).]

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 15:30

WS: pretty accurate but you get the prize for worst rhyme yet (apart from vp and that is to be expected!!).

Emps -> shrimps -> blimp

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

kretsminky
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: A little lower... lower... ahhhhhh, thats the spot
Insane since: Jun 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 15:44

Those have to be some of the worst limericks i have ever heard.

There is a young inmate named krets
O'er his hair he constantly frets
He swears he's not gay
And to us thats ok
Even though when the soap drops he sweats.


Bugimus
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: New California
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 15:58

One day in Germany I did see
A particularly adept Cherokee
Rippers always steered clear
Of the Tomahawk they did fear
If Hindu he would do doubt be Brahman
For he is our good friend WebShaman

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 16:00

Good one, Bugs!! And yeah, Emps, I noticed that...fixed it, too...

The limerick to end all...

There was a ShootingStar that hogged
the bandwidth with sigs but got bogged.
He siad, with a shout,
'I know nothing about...'
and noticed his[ip logged]


[This message has been edited by WebShaman (edited 05-29-2002).]

InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Oblivion
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 18:49



Bugimus played guitar on his fender,
His location is just right of the center,
He's a christian indeed,
He helps friends in need,
And his DHTML skills can't get any better

*sigh* about the fender but I had to get it started

edit: damn brasilian keyboards, i wish i were a brasilianaire


[This message has been edited by InSiDeR (edited 05-29-2002).]

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 19:09

Now SB is a merry old fellow
He would always greet others with hello.
Then there came the day
When he didn't pray
Instead his briches are now brown and yellow!

[This message has been edited by WebShaman (edited 05-29-2002).]

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 19:23

SB is merry with never a frown
but one day his plane went down,
things got scary
and a little hairy
and his pants were forever brown.

WS: The Doc's change in IP logging notation has rather spolied your Shooting Star limerick.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 19:42

Yeah, it was great while it lasted...oh well.

Nice one, Emps...much better than my lame attempt...however

quote:
'get in here
you man from Korea'



here and Korea don't rhyme....however, diarria does...

kretsminky
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: A little lower... lower... ahhhhhh, thats the spot
Insane since: Jun 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 20:02

One day a few inmates wrote limericks
Filling them with nothing but gimmicks
They wrote and they wrote
As each other they smote
Proving only they're a big bunch of dim pricks



InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Oblivion
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 05-29-2002 21:50

lmao krets,...

edit: whos sb?



[This message has been edited by InSiDeR (edited 05-29-2002).]

Bugimus
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: New California
Insane since: Mar 2000

posted posted 05-29-2002 22:53

That would have to be Schitzoboy. What happened here kind of well... stuck

. . : slicePuzzle

InSiDeR
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Oblivion
Insane since: Sep 2001

posted posted 05-30-2002 01:49

What happened there bugs?

ShootingStar
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Kanada
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 05-30-2002 01:56

there once was a graphical forum
whose members lacked grace and decorum
the inmates were lame
the newbies they'd flame
as dyslexics wrote ipsum lorem


[IP Flogged]

Emperor
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist with Finglongers

From: Cell 53, East Wing
Insane since: Jul 2001

posted posted 05-30-2002 02:02

There was an inmate named krets
with a terrible case of Tourettes
one say he said 's**t
p**s f**t s******m t*t
m****y f*****r b*****k sweats'

InSiDeR: Read the thread and/or look up SB in the FAQ.

___________________
Emps

FAQs: Emperor

ShootingStar
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Kanada
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 05-30-2002 02:12

An eager Mad inmate named Jestah
policed all the threads without rest-ah
to trollers he warned
you'll likely be scorned
if Doc logs your IP i'll arrest yah


Rameses Niblik the Third
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: From:From:
Insane since: Aug 2001

posted posted 05-30-2002 06:21

I once met a monster called Skaarjj,
He stank and weighed more than a barge...

Oh wait, that's cruel, isn't it. I'll have to think of another one, quick!

I'm crazy, mad, psychotic,
Insaniac, neurotic,
My voice is quite robotic,
And I never Shut Up!
Sung to the tune of "The Addams Family"

Suho1004
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Seoul, Korea
Insane since: Apr 2002

posted posted 05-30-2002 10:16

My goodness, I miss a day and look what happens. If I didn't know any better I would have thought I had stumbled into a vogon poetry open mic night (with all due respect to VP!). Keep up the good work!

WebShaman
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: Happy Hunting Grounds...
Insane since: Mar 2001

posted posted 05-30-2002 12:39

Please, don't encourage Rameses Niblik the Third...that last one was...bad.

reitsma
Maniac (V) Mad Scientist

From: the bigger bedroom
Insane since: Oct 2000

posted posted 05-31-2002 01:28

vp: your spelling of "pears" as "pairs"... is that a little freudian?

we have a dear inmate named ini,
who could make a webpage very skinny,
"of bytes, you know,
mine's less than five-one-two-oh!"
- he said, and gave a proud grinny.



...and then there's that guy, vogonpoet,
who writes rhymes that suck - and you know it,
but before you tell 'im "stop"
remember: he has a mop,
and he's lookin' for somewhere to stow it.



ok, i'm done - for now.

____________
reitsma

ShootingStar
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Kanada
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 05-31-2002 03:17

not bad reitsma
LOL

ShootingStar
Maniac (V) Inmate

From: Kanada
Insane since: Mar 2002

posted posted 05-31-2002 03:28

Inmate Suho One thousand and four
Accosted an old Asylum whore
but thought of his wife
then feared for his life
he wisely decided not to score

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